I still remember

I still remember, it never leaves my mind,

Those thoughts will always circle, a cycle.

At the least unexpected time

Those flashbacks always find me.

It invades me,

Engulfs me from within

And I am frozen.

That date is forever ingrained on my mind

Those words, just letters make me choke

Those numbers always strangle me.

---

Like water closing over my head,

Tears still form so heavy,

So powerful

I could drown…

If I ever let them drop.

It still has that power that I long to let go.

Still holds me, still kills me

every time.

Still fills me with unbelievable rage

And I still have to

run,

bury,

say yes!

Do anything just to escape.

Just to pretend I’m on a different page.

---

Fresh, blank and new

I dream of this page without that stain.