A bonny yon lad were called Alfred McGee
Played bagpipes all day from half 9 until 3
Sae ‘Ma, dannae ken better piper than me!’
Till ‘Och, I dannae ken,’ replied Ma McGee

Another yon piper a-sippin’ his broo’
Said ‘Alfred I ken I pipe better than you’
‘Then let’s hae a shot and I’ll challenge wi’ ye!’
Then ‘Och, I dannae ken’ replied Ma McGee

A-pipin’ the twa fain played on yonder brae
Till Alfred pou’d t’other i’th burn one dae
Then with mighty fut-strake yon laddie banged he
Yet ‘Och, I dannae ken,’ replied Ma McGee

And then yon lad cried “Git oot yer wee scunner!”
And though yon Alfred weren’t bonny rinner
He piping cum rinning across the braid braes
Though ‘Och, I dannae ken,’ replied Ma McGee

So if ye look oot across far awa’,
Ye’ll see yonder braes Alfred piped rinnin fra.
Ye’ll hear fauld his gast , or so rumours sae,
But it’s ‘Och I dannae ken,’ replies Ma McGee.

Glossary

Ken - know
Twa - two
Fain - gladly
Pou'd - pulled
Burn - river
Fut-strake - kick
Bang - attack
Rinner - runner
Cum rinnin - came running
Fra - from
Fauld - faintly
Gast - ghost
Brae - hill
Braid - broad