It is on purpose that I made the letters all lowercase...so it's not a typo, and I do know grammar. :P Enjoy.

Chiclets

crimson regrets

in silent anguish i stand, a knife at my wrist.

i hope the phone will ring, or the doorbell will chime

anything to distract me

but no such luck

so, bitter tears rising in my eyes, i press the blade down

red flows over the white enamel of the sink

pain floods my senses, but to my dismay, it doesn’t drown out the pain inside me

the pain that tears at my heart like whips

angry now, i drop the knife and turn on the faucet

i let the cold water wash away the red

but i don’t bind my wrists like i know i should, if i don’t want to die

but i have never said otherwise

i let my arms drop to my side

i watch the floor in morbid fascination, entranced by the sight

the sight of red pooling at my feet

i no longer feel pain

i am numb

i didn’t know there could be so much blood in a person

the world around me spins

from the loss of blood, i figure

my dim thought is that i am making a huge mess

but it’s not important, for i won’t be here anymore

when my vision begins to blur and fade to black, i smile, welcoming death

then death reveals himself

and icy horror flushes my veins

but it is too late

i am his

i am not

– am not