19

“Through The Woods”

“Through The Woods”

By

Emily Beacon

SCENE ONE

FADE IN:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM – AFTERNOON

We see a class, all looking anxious and antsy. Many are watching the clock and sitting on the edge of their seats.

A teacher, an older woman, stands at the front looking out into the sea of faces.

TEACHER

For those of you who failed to pass the eighth grade, I will be handing you a notice demanding you attend summer school.

Many people in the class groan.

TEACHER

But… because of a new program being tested by the school board, it will be Summer School Outdoor Recreation. This means that all your classes will be held outdoors.

There is a slightly unenthusiastic reaction to this remark.

TEACHER

There will also be student tutors and leaders there. One of which, is our very own Kevin Gooche.

There’s a small clap as a nerdy boy wearing a shirt reading Disco Fever, looks very excited and waves.

TEACHER

Well, I’ll come around now with the letters, and then I’ll see the rest of you next year!

The teacher begins handing out pieces of paper to assorted students. All looking somewhat perturbed. One obvious jock in the front looks extremely excited.

JOCK

Yeah! I got one!

TEACHER

(sighs)

Teddy, it’s not a good thing.

The teacher returns to passing out papers.

CUT TO:

SCENE TWO

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM – AFTERNOON

The teacher hands a paper to the grunge, rebellious looking girl sitting in front of Kevin.

TEACHER

Feet off the desk, Hally.

Hally clunks her feet down on the floor and scowling, takes the notice.

KEVIN

Ooh, Hally, summer school. Tough break. Hey, but look at it this way, I’ll be your group leader!

HALLY

Listen Gooche (pronouncing his last name GOO-CH), unless you want me to crucify you on a tree when we’re out there, you’ll shut up and stay out of my way.

KEVIN

(nervous)

Anything you say.

The girl sitting across from Hally sighs and looks at the paper.

CANDY

Summer school… again…

KEVIN

How many times is it now Candy?

CANDY

I lost count in kindergarten.

Kevin frowns and shakes his head, struggling trying to say something.

KEVIN

That’s… eh… oh, never mind.

CUT TO:

SCENE THREE

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM – AFTERNOON

The Teacher stands at the front once more and stares out at the class.

TEACHER

Well, now that I’ve dealt with the country’s future, I just wanted to say how happy I am that this year is ending and how glad I am that at least half of you passed. Now, I’d like to leave you with a few words of encouragement before you go for summer break. (clears throat)The future lies in-

The bell rings and in a flurry everyone runs out, yelling in excitement about summer vacation.

CUT TO:

SCENE FOUR

EXT. SUBURBAN STREETWAY – AFTERNOON

Hally is walking home and reading over the paper. She rolls her eyes as if annoyed by it. She crumples it up into a ball and tosses it to the ground and begins walking faster.

Suddenly Kevin come’s running up behind her yelling and grabs up the paper.

KEVIN

What do you think you are doing, HALLY?! YOU ARE KILLING MARTHA’S RELATIVES! THIS WAS PROBABLY HER UNCLE LARRY!

HALLY

Who the hell is Martha?

KEVIN

The love of my life! The beauty that grows in rippling and glowing serenity in my back yard! The future bearer of my children! The one who’s name I-

HALLY

Ok, shut up moron. WHO IS SHE?

KEVIN

Martha! The great birch tree that blossoms in my yard!

HALLY

Martha’s a frigging tree?

Kevin nods enthusiastically and holds his hands to his heart.

HALLY

I knew it. You are as stupid as you look.

A guy walking past laughs out loud.

RAY

Ha! He’s smarter than you! He didn’t get sent to summer school! Ooh, burn!

HALLY

Shut up Ray, you’re in summer school too!

RAY

Wait- damn it!

Obviously embarrassed, Ray stalks off. For the next few moments Kevin and Hally walk in silence. Kevin pulls out a walkman and begins listening to it, the headphones extremely large.

We hear the music he is listening to which is the Numa Numa Song. He starts bobbing his head then looks up at Hally who is walking slightly ahead of him. Suddenly taken over by the beat, he begins dancing, stopping abruptly when Hally turns around every once in a while until he can’t take it anymore and begins dancing 100.

Hally watches for a moment, completely confused. She watches as he closes his eyes and begins spinning. She looks up and sees he’s headed for a STOP sign and looks back to him repeating a few times before he finally runs head first into the sign and collapses to the ground.

Walking over to him, Hally leans over him.

HALLY

You okay there Kevin?

KEVIN

(pained)

Yeah…

HALLY

Anything hurt?

KEVIN

Just my pride.

HALLY

Judging by your shirt, you didn’t have any to begin with.

KEVIN

(moans)

HALLY

(laughing)

Later, Super Freak.

Hally turns and runs up the steps to a house.

CUT TO:

SCENE FIVE

INT. SUBURBAN HOME – AFTERNOON

Hally comes running through the door. She throws her bag down in a heap and begins racing towards the stairs. She’s half way up when a voice comes from the kitchen wearing an apron that says STEPFORD MOM.

MRS. WILLIAMS

(Sickeningly sweet)

Hally, darling, is that you?

Mrs. Williams comes walking out of the kitchen, smiling sweetly.

MRS. WILLIAMS

How was your last day of school, dear?

HALLY

Heh, well… I uh… got accepted into summer school again!

MRS. WILLIAMS

(suddenly turning from sweet to monstrous)

WHAT?!

Mrs. Williams turns and walks into the kitchen. Hally suddenly looks terrified and runs towards the door.

HALLY

(screaming)

Mrs. Williams comes back from the kitchen wielding a knife.

MRS. WILLIAMS

Hally?

She looks but Hally has disappeared.

CUT TO:

SCENE SIX

FADE IN:

EXT. FOREST – MORNING

SUMMER SCHOOL – DAY 1

Everyone stands in a group talking. Kevin suddenly pops up.

KEVIN

ATTENTION EVERYONE! PLEASE!!

Everyone ignores him.

KEVIN
SHUT UP NEANDRATHALS!

Everyone shuts up and looks at him.

JOCK

What’s a Neanderthal?

KEVIN

The definition of big, dumb and uncivilized.

HALLY

Stop talking about your mother Kevin.

Kevin looks slightly hurt but then regains himself.

RAY

Hey twinkle toes, get on with it!

KEVIN

Right, well, okay everyone, welcome to the Outdoor Educational Summer School Program, OETSSP. The main councilors are still getting ready, but they’ve asked me to divide you into your groups.

CUT TO:

SCENE SEVEN

INT. TENT – MORNING

A group of councilors stand staring at one in the very center of the room with his hand stuck in a pickle jar.

PICKLE COUNCILLOR

Well that’s never happened before.

CUT TO:

SCENE EIGHT

EXT. WOODS – MORNING

We’re back to the group of summer students.

KEVIN

Ok, if you failed math, you’re group A, if you failed science, you’re group B, if you failed Language Arts you’re Group C, and if you failed art, you’re in Group D with me! If you’ve failed more than one subject you’re in group SN.

RAY

SN isn’t in the alphabet dork wad.

KEVIN

SN stands for… Special Needs.

RAY

Damn it!

KEVIN

Ok, in my group it is… Candy and… Hally.

CANDY

YAY! I WASN’T PICKED LAST!

RAY

Wow, Hally, you managed to fail ART?

HALLY

You wanna’ have heart failure? Because I can make that possible!

KEVIN

Ok happy campers, let’s get going. The other groups, uh, just wait here for your councilors.

CUT TO:

SCENE NINE

INT. TENT – MORNING

The councilors are now trying to pull the pickle jar off his hand.

COUNCILLOR

Well, we could try soap.

CUT TO:

SCENE TEN

EXT. FOREST – AFTERNOON

Hally, Candy, and Kevin are walking through the woods alone now, Kevin listening to his headphones.

CANDY

Hey, what time is noon?

Hally rolls her eyes and sighs.

HALLY

HEY! TRAVOLTA! Where are we going? We’ve been walking all day!

Kevin doesn’t seem to hear her with the headphones on.

HALLY

GOOCHE!

Yet again, Kevin doesn’t hear her and keeps walking. Hally reaches down and grabs a rock and throws it at him. Hitting him square in the back of the head as he begins to slightly dance with his hands, he falls face first onto the ground.

KEVIN

OW! WHAT THE HECK?! MC HAMMER WAS JUST IN THE MIDDLE OF CAN’T TOUCH THIS!

HALLY

Whatever Disco Dork, where are we going?

Kevin looks around surprised for a moment and then pulls himself up. He looks left and right and then laughs nervously turning towards Candy and Hally.

KEVIN

Why, we’re going…

He licks his finger then puts it to the wind.

KEVIN

East?

HALLY

YOU DON’T KNOW?

CANDY

I thought we were going to McDonald’s.

KEVIN

I know, don’t worry. I’ve got a map here… somewhere…

Kevin begins searching through his bags and pockets dumping many text books and useless things. He begins panicking and starts tearing everything apart.

KEVIN

Oh my god… I must have left it back in the councilor’s washroom…

HALLY

Which is where? Some bush?!

KEVIN

NO!... Well yes, but that’s not the point!

CANDY

Oh, I’m sorry, were we looking for a washroom for Kevin? I always go before I leave the house and-

KEVIN

NO! We’re going to…

He looks around wildly and something catches his eye.

KEVIN

THERE!

He points excitedly to a small cottage a ways away from them. It’s foreboding and quite creepy looking. When examined closely there’s broken windows, padlocks and a red axe stuck in the front door.

HALLY

There?

KEVIN

Y-Yes. There, the… uh… school board’s… magical… uh… cottage of knowledge.

They stop and stare at it a moment. Kevin gulps.

HALLY

You are such an idiot.

CANDY

It looks like my Uncle Charlie’s house.

KEVIN

Who?

CANDY

Uncle Charlie. Well, his full name is Charles Manson, but he likes me to call him Charlie.

Kevin and Hally stare at her for a moment in slight disbelief and Candy is totally clueless.

KEVIN

I’m... s-s-sure it’s just some nice old hermit’s cottage. Or maybe it’s abandoned.

HALLY

Why don’t you go see Kevin?

KEVIN

ME?! WHAT?! ARE YOU NUTS?!

HALLY

I knew it. You’re such a chicken.

KEVIN

I’ll have you know I am a ROOSTER.

HALLY

Whatever Dancing Queen.

Hally stalks up bravely to the front door and knocks.

KEVIN

(calling from a safe distance away)

Hally, I really must protest against this.

HALLY

Whatever Gooche.

Hally knocks again. Suddenly a figure appears behind Candy and Kevin. Hally turns and jumps when she sees it. She stares and Kevin and Candy turn around. Kevin lets out a small scream.

CUT TO:

SCENE ELEVEN

EXT. FOREST – DUSK

The figure comes closer revealing a strange looking person clutching a very sharp garden tool. Their breathing is very loud and strange, and there’s even a slight chuckle underneath it.

Hally regains herself and hops of the porch coming forward.

HALLY

Hello there, um, we seem to be lost, could you help us?

PSYCHO

Lost eh? Heh, heh, well, the forest is not safe at night. And it’s growing dark. (lets out a crazed laugh)

HALLY

Oh, well… uh…

KEVIN

(nudging Hally)

Heh, Hally… major psychopath radar going off! Let’s move…

Kevin quickly licks finger and sticks it to the wind.

KEVIN

…South of here!

HALLY

Shut up, he – she- it might be able to help us!

PSYCHO

Why don’t you… (licks lips) children stay the night?

CANDY

Like a sleep over?

PSYCHO

Yes… like a sleep over! (laughs hysterically)

KEVIN

Uh, yes, sleep over’s are fun, but we really must be going and-

PSYCHO

Oh no, I insist!

The psycho slaps the sharp tool in his hand threateningly and walks forward ushering them towards the house.

KEVIN

(terrified)

O-o-okay, whatever you say!

CUT TO:

SCENE TWELVE

INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT

Candy and the Psycho stand in a corner laughing together. Kevin and Hally stand by the window looking around nervously.

KEVIN

This guy is off the mentally disturbed path. He’s venturing into Freddy Kruger land!

HALLY

I know, we’re just going to have to keep an eye on him until morning when we can get out of here. I still can’t believe you got us lost!

KEVIN

I didn’t get us lost! I just… wasn’t paying attention is all.

HALLY

What were you listening to anyways that got you so zoned?

Grabbing his walkman, Kevin protests. But Hally puts the headphones to her ears and listens. She frowns and looks at him for a moment then bursts out laughing. We here ”Beautiful” by Christina Aguilara playing.

HALLY

You’ve got issues.

KEVIN

(snatching back the walkman)

The song soothes my inner beast.

HALLY

(Sarcastically)

Ooh, I’d hate to see that! What is it, a kitten?

KEVIN

No… it’s…

Kevin jumps around flashing his hands around like claws and looking quite idiotic.

KEVIN

The Jaguar! Ooh, bet you can’t handle that! Ooh!

Hally watches a moment. Suddenly a hand slaps down on Kevin’s shoulder and he lets out a high pitched scream. The Psycho stares at him then smiles.

PSYCHO

Well, now that the moon is up and there’s no one around to hear, do you know what it’s time for?

The Psycho reaches and grabs a fold of it’s clothing and looks as if ready to rip it off. Kevin drops to his knees screaming.

KEVIN

Please! Kill us! Eat us! Chop us up into little pieces but PLEASE, DON’T GET NAKED! I COULDN’T HANDLE IT!

Psycho looks at Kevin confused then grins.

PSYCHO

Oh, what made you think I’d do that?

It rips off clothes revealing a sparkly dance costume.

PSYCHO

I’m Michael Jackson!

Grabbing up a remote, Michael Jackson hits a button and posters reading “Heal the World”, a disco ball and other lights come down. Michael Jackson music begins playing and Candy, Hally and Kevin watch as he begins to dance. Candy leans over towards the others.

CANDY

(whispering)

Let’s get out of here.

HALLY

That’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said!

CANDY

I know! I mean, I don’t want to stay in a place like this! He’s got no toilet paper!

HALLY

I take that back!

CUT TO:

SCENE THIRTEEN

EXT. FOREST COTTAGE – NIGHT

Hally, Kevin and Candy come bursting through the front door running away, all screaming in terror. Michael comes running after them, looking on the verge of tears. The three scatter in different directions and Michael turns angry.

JACKSON

My pets… you won’t get away that easy!

Michael turns and runs back into the house for a moment before reappearing carrying the axe from the door.

JACKSON

Oh, pets!

Michael runs off.

CUT TO:

SCENE FOURTEEN

We see Kevin running madly and looking over his shoulder. Michael’s voice comes floating up behind him. Not watching, Kevin trips over a large tree root and goes rolling down into a bush. He quickly crawls up and hides behind a tree just as Michael comes running into the clearing.

KEVIN

(barely audible)

Oh my god!

Michael stalks around for a moment, sniffing the air. He then hears a cry of someone from far off and turns running in their direction.

We hear Hally scream.

Kevin jumps out from behind the tree and looks around wildly.

KEVIN

This is going to look so bad on my permanent record!’

Kevin runs off after Michael.

CUT TO:

SCENE FIFTEEN

Hally is racing through a very thick part of trees. Michael has caught sight of her and is in close pursuit.

JACKSON

Oh, baby!

Hally runs into a clearing and doesn’t know which way to go. Just as Michael is about to pounce on her Kevin comes running through and kicks him in the crotch. Nothing happens.

JACKSON

(laughing)

You can’t hurt me there, darling. Those melted long ago!

KEVIN

Ew.

Kevin turns and begins running, Hally right beside him.

HALLY

Where’s Candy?

KEVIN

I don’t know!

HALLY

Well, we can’t just leave her!

KEVIN

I know! But how do you propose we find her?

HALLY

I don’t know! You’re the smart one, you figure something out!

KEVIN

Did you just… compliment me?

HALLY

KEVIN!

KEVIN

Oh, right. Well, she ran in that direction, let’s go over-

Kevin’s interrupted as he and Hally run over the edge of a cliff they couldn’t see in the dark. We hear them both scream for a moment then all their sound disappears almost in a in a dip.

Michael comes racing towards the edge and looks down, a look of disappointment on his face.

JACKSON

There goes another group of em’. Darn.

Jackson turns and walks away.

CUT TO:

SCENE SIXTEEN