What thoughts can fill my head

When my mind is clogged with these memories?

They absorb my concentration

Constantly placing me in the past

Constantly causing me grief

Constantly giving me this lukewarm joy that briefly shines

through the sodden gray void of my past

these memories that pull me back

these memories that keep me second guessing

these memories that prevent me from living in the moment

prevent me from being spontaneous

prevent me from saying what I feel

So I muddle through this life

weighed down by these memories saturated with pain

looking for someone to share this burden with

but for now, I am alone.