#¤#¤#¤#Spiral#¤#¤#¤#
...:.:.:.:.:.:.By: Cimmy.:.:.:.:.:.:...

Summary: Fred goes on a road trip with his baby daughter to visit his missing girlfriend and maybe find a way to get her back again. His best friend Kate decides to tag along against everyone's wishes and she adds some drama to the mix for both the teenagers and the baby.
Rating: T
Dedication: None
Timeline: This story doesn't relate relate to any other story I've written. Fred and Lex are seniors in high school.
Cimmy’s Notes: This is a re-written version of a story I wrote years ago. The first chapter is a bit slow, but it gets better in chapter two. Elle is the creation of both Kristine and I, after hours of fighting over what to name her. I didn’t win.
Disclaimer: Lex O’Leary and Jeff Delricci belong to NYgoldfish54. Elle is one of those rare things the two of us share. Fred belongs to me and will never cease to do. Oh, yeah, Kate McKinley shows up in this story - she's also mine.

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Chapter 1. For Once In My Life
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Fred sat up in bed with a jerk. He’d had that dream again; that dream where everything started out okay, with Lex being around him, laughing, talking, holding his hand. That dream where he was about to kiss her and she started to slip away, and he lost her and couldn’t find her again. He could hear her cry so vividly that it broke his heart. The dream always turned into a nightmare, making him wake up in the middle of the night, hoping to find her next to him but knowing that she wouldn’t be there.

It took a few seconds before he realized that the crying wasn’t coming from Lex. He drew a deep, uneven breath to gather himself together before quickly sliding out of bed. It took a certain willpower to leave the bed but he knew he had to force himself to get up, or his mother would give him a hard time if she was woken up by the sound.

He hesitated before touching the floor with his toe, then shivered when he sensed how cold it was. Fred wrapped the cover around himself before walking over to the other side of the room. His room was rather large; to his younger brother’s dismay, it was much larger than the other bedrooms.

He reached down into the crib where his daughter was sitting. She held out her arms towards him when she noticed his presence. She was looking at him with big, tearful eyes and he had to smile. She always knew how to look as miserable as possible when she was crying. As soon as she would stop wailing and was only sniffling or sobbing, she had somewhat of a pout, and a devastated expression in her eyes. Fred simply couldn’t resist that; Elle reminded him so much of Lex that he didn’t care if it was a trick. He wasn’t even sure if babies could play tricks.

Although, Elle was crying for a new reason now. Fred had taken care of her by himself for months now, but he was still not at all sure what to do when something happened to her that he wasn’t prepared for. This time it was sickness. Elle had never been sick before. He put his hand on her forehead. She was still considerably hot from a lingering fever.

Lex had been gone for seven months now. Fred had thought that maybe it would get easier after a while, once he’d gotten used to her being gone and gotten more used to taking care of Elle, but it was the complete opposite. He missed Lex even more now. It got harder and harder without her as Elle grew older. It definitely didn’t help when he knew that Lex was miserable where she was.

Over the past months, he’d only seen her once. Lex hadn’t seen Elle at all since the day Elle was born. It pained him that they couldn’t be together. “Hey, sweetheart,” he whispered, holding the baby close. “Don’t cry. You’ll wake them up; you know how they hate that.”

Sometimes Lex had the opportunity to send him messages or notes to him through her siblings. Fred always told them to send her his love; that was in fact the only thing he could send her.

Elle kept blubbering despite his attempts to soothe her. She’d had a fever for two days now, and Fred had no idea what to do. He’d turned himself inside out, doing everything he could for her, but at this point he was rather clueless.

Fred brought her over to his own bed and cradled her in his arms while trying to think things over. He’d called her pediatrician earlier and according to him she was basically all right, she was just having her first cold and it would pass soon enough. The soon part had been too much to hope for, obviously.

The light out in the hallway switched on; Fred could see a ray of light passing through the narrow opening under the door. There was a soft knock on his door, and he sighed forcefully. “Come in.”

“You’re waking up the entire building,” his mom explained with reproach. “Your brothers will wake up.”

Fred didn’t bother to answer. His mother had never supported him through anything; it was no surprise to him that she had prefered it if Elle was handed over to a foster home instead of being in his care. Fred had just been too stubborn to let her talk him into anything.

As a repercussion of his deviant behavior, she was now punishing him by making life twice as hard for him. She refused to help him with Elle, and at any opportunity she got, she reminded him what a burden Elle was. At times, she could show him the slightest hint of compassion, but it only lasted for so long.

“She’s sick,” he said, something he knew she was aware of. “She has a fever.”

Fred also couldn’t remember a time when his mother had actually cared for him. The times he’d gotten sick, he’d had to deal with it himself. The times his younger brothers had gotten sick, the nanny in charge had taken care of them. And of course, his mom had never even considered giving him that sort of relief. She had probably no idea what to even do if a child got sick; it just wasn’t a concern of hers.

“You know what I’ve said; if you can’t take care of her, you can’t stay here-”

“I’m trying,” he snapped. Elle started to whimper, so Fred had to wrap her up in his arms again to comfort her. He lowered his voice considerably so not to scare her again. “She was about to fall asleep just as you came in here.”

“If your brothers don’t get enough sleep-”

“So what? You’re not around to know if they won’t anyway,” he growled. She was so evidently taking advantage of him being home every day; he had to look after his brothers even though that wasn’t even his job. She was using him and they both knew it well enough to bring it up at any time it was convenient.

“I’m letting you stay here, for free, with your kid,” she exclaimed. Fred knew she would use that argument. She always did. “I’m willing to have you at home, I allowed you to drop out of school, I even pay for your food and your daughter’s medical bills, and you show no trace of gratitude back.”

Fred swallowed hard. “You know that I don’t have anywhere else to go. I do practically everything for you. I look after your kids and do all the chores you tell me to. Elle is never in your way. I’m never in your way. Can’t you just give me a break?”

“Call her doctor,” she suggested coldly without listening to a word he said.

“I have. She’ll get better in a few days. That’s what kids do. If you do remember.”

She went back out the door. “You know I’ll be gone tomorrow.”

“I know. I’ll look after Alex for you,” he mumbled. He knew he shouldn’t let her win, let her boss him around like she did, but it was all he had left now. He loved his brothers and could never do anything that would result in bad consequences for them.

Elle had stopped crying and was now playing with a loose string from her layette. Fred put her down on the empty side of the bed where Lex used to sleep. It broke his heart when he saw Elle squirming around, watching her do all those precious things babies did and knowing Lex would miss them.

Elle reacted to a sound coming from his nightstand and tilted her head to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of his cell phone. Fred hurried to answer, knowing he shouldn’t get his hopes up but couldn’t help it. “Lex?” he asked.

“Hey.”

Fred gasped with relief. “Oh, God, I hoped it was you.”

“I know it’s late,” she said quietly. He knew why; sometimes she could sneak away and call him at odd hours without having to explain herself to anyone.

“You know it’s all right,” he assured her happily. “You know I just wanna talk to you.”

“Is she all right?”

Fred contemplated if he should tell her about Elle’s condition or not. They hadn’t spoken in a few days so Lex didn’t know Elle was sick. “She’s… doing all right. Got the sniffles, but it’s nothing dangerous.”

“I know, I spoke with Laurie today and she told me. Dad wouldn’t allow me to call to check up on her. He’s such a bastard,” Lex mumbled, sounding upset.

“I promise you, Lex, you won’t have to stay there much longer,” he stated firmly. “I’ll do everything I can-”

“You shouldn’t risk it,” she said sadly. “They’ll take Elle away from you. If you just take care of her, I’ll be fine eventually. I’ll get out of here.”

“I miss you so much,” he told her. “I wish you could be here. There’s so much I want you to be here for.”

Lex sounded choked when she replied. “I miss you too. And Elle. I want to be there with you guys. Every second here feels like years and I’m missing out on so much.”

“We’ll be here when you get out,” he promised. “I tried to send you more than just my pointless verbal greetings, but your dad wouldn’t let me.”

“Oh, don’t say that,” Lex pleaded. “Hearing from you is my favorite thing about getting visits from my siblings.”

“I really just want to take you home,” he said.

Lex sighed. “Yeah… What’d you try to send me?”

“Just the run-of-the-mill box of goodies. Primarily pictures of Elle.”

“He wouldn’t let me keep them,” she whispered. “They look through my stuff and they check what my brothers and sister try to bring me. Nothing gets through. It’s like a damn prison here. Though, I bet I’d get treated better there. I could kill my father and still get to see you and Elle.”

“Lex…”

“It’s just… I hate it so much here,” she whispered quietly. “I wanna go home. I don’t know what to do. It doesn’t even feel like I have you or Elle. Sometimes I just don’t feel like she’s mine, that I have her, because I’ve never seen her except-”

“Don’t think like that,” he interrupted. “It’ll drive you crazy. And Elle misses you. We both miss you. I tell her about you; everyone tells her about you. Maybe she won’t recognize you, but she knows that she has a mother who loves her and misses her. She’s too young yet. She’ll remember you and won’t even be aware you weren’t around the first few months of her life.”

“Promise me,” she demanded. “Promise me you’ll tell her about me. Promise me you won’t let her forget.”

“I promise. I swear, Lex. I talk about you every day. You know I do.”

“I know,” she mumbled. “It just feels better to hear you say you do. Tell her that I miss her.”

“I will.”

“Things all right at home?”

“Mom’s being a bitch, but she’s always like that. Mac’s getting used to having Elle around more. He was really mad at me at first, for bringing her here.”

“He’s nice to her, though, right?”

“Yeah. He refuses to call her Elle, and calls her ‘the little brat’ whenever he has to talk about her, but he’s not a royal pain like my mom. And Alex and Seb don’t seem to care at all. Alex’s too young, I guess, he probably thinks Elle is his kid sister, and Seb’s got no problem with her as long as she doesn’t touch his stuff.”

“Tell Mac to be nicer to her. I don’t want anyone to treat her bad.”

“Okay. Do you need money? I can try to send some with Robbie or Laurie.” Robbie and Laurie were two of Lex’s older siblings; they were allowed to visit her from time to time.

“No, I don’t think it would get through to me anyway. My dad likes to be in charge of how much money I have.”

“Oh. You’re all right, though?”

“Yeah. I got some. I’ll get by.”

Fred stared at the ceiling, carefully rubbing Elle’s back with the palm of his hand to comfort her. She was twitching a little, but seemed to be half asleep. She made a whimpering sound but didn’t wake up, and sighed contently. “She’s great,” he mumbled. “I love taking care of her, like it's something I'm actually good at. I guess she makes it easier to get through the days without you. She really means the world to me, and I swear to you that I’ll do everything I can to take care of her and keep her safe until you get home again.”

“I… I just wanna go home,” she said throatily; he could hear that she was trying not to cry. “That’s all.”

“I love you,” Fred whimpered, desperately wishing he could comfort her in some way. “I do. I’ll wait for you, you know that.”

“Oh, I-” she started, but fell silent. When she continued again, her voice was rushed. “Fred, I gotta go. I think someone’s comin’. Tell Elle I love her. I love you too, Fred. I love you so much.”

“Call me again,” he hurried to say.

“I’ll try,” she promised. “Bye.”

Fred listened to the dial tone for a while after she’d hung up. Elle brought him back down to earth by making another little twitching movement. He continued to move his hand in circles over Elle’s back until he knew that the little baby was asleep.

Fred felt sorry for her. She was such an amazing kid, and she didn’t deserve to live under the current conditions. She deserved to have both her parents around, especially when they were supposed to be together. Nothing of this was Elle’s fault, and it wasn’t the result of her existence.

After all, Lex’s father had always treated her like dirt. He’d thrown a fit the day Lex had to tell him and her mother she’d gotten pregnant. Lex had tried to wait as long as possible to tell them, but eventually had to due to the circumstances. Fred had thought that her dad would ease up on her; he nearly hadn’t mentioned it at all during the last two months before Elle was born.

Fred had been there with Lex during the delivery, and he’d watched over her as much as he could. He wasn’t sure what had happened; he’d been so relieved that Lex was all right afterwards that he’d let his guard down.

Lex had seen Elle once. Right after she was born, Lex had held her in her arms. That was the only time she’d been close to Elle. Lex’s father had taken her away from the hospital early the next morning, without letting her or Fred know about it. When Fred had returned to her room, she was simply gone.

Lex’s sister Laurie had eventually found out where Lex was through their mother. Their father had sent her away to a private school up in the most northern part possible of Michigan to prevent her from getting into trouble again. Fred had begged to get to see her, or talk to her, or get her back, but Lex’s dad wouldn’t even let him get in touch with her. She wasn’t allowed to have contact with him or have contact with Elle.

Fred knew it was an attempt to cut them off her life, but he couldn’t let go that easy. Every day since she left, he’d tried to get in touch with her. Finally, when her dad had at least allowed her family to visit her, he’d succeeded.

Her brothers, Robbie and Steve, hadn’t been happy at all when they heard that he’d gotten her pregnant, and Fred was quite certain they both would have killed him if Lex hadn’t stepped in. Still, now, when Lex was gone and all that was left of her was Elle, they’d agreed on helping him get in contact with Lex. Fred appreciated it, knowing they weren’t too fond of him at all.

It was just hard. Being alone, with such a big responsibility. It wasn’t even that difficult to take care of Elle; Fred had grown up taking care of his younger brothers for as long as he could remember. But he missed Lex so much that every day was a struggle not to give up. He’d cried over her so much that he was starting to feel dried up.

He meant it, though. He would care for Elle, keep her safe and love her with everything he had until Lex was able to come home again. It was his promise to her, and he refused to let her down.

Elle was now sleeping contently on her stomach, on Lex’s side of the bed, the side Fred hadn’t touched since she’d left. They’d make it through, he figured. They always had before.

He lay his head down on the pillow and closed his eyes, listening to Elle breathing deeply.

It would get better, he decided. For once in his life, things would work out fine.

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