This is not about Stan or Claire

Or when she bid him farewell

When he had an affair.

The lesson I will tell

You is something that must be made aware.

Before Stan made his mistake,

These teenagers, virginal and square,

Chose a very important rule to break.

Stan’s Trojan condoms lived unfair

Lives deep in his drawer,

Not where a fresh hymen did tear,

Which is a place they would have adored.

But Stan did not really care.

He thought they could take a chance,

And then he went into another girl’s underwear.

This marked the end of Claire’s first romance,

And now she sits alone with her teddy bear,

Wishing she had thought her decisions through

And that she did not give those condoms such despair

For in nine months she is due . . .

Unprotected sex . . . beware.

(if you liked this one, i also wrote a poem on masturbation, which is more humourous, but also very educational)