Always and forever

Chapter one

Mathew watched as the featherlike clouds floated overhead in the pink and darkening sky and a warm breeze stirred the grass around him. It was so peaceful that for a moment he was able to forget about the harassment he received from people he thought were his friends at school and the horror of his home life. For a moment all there was, was the warm breeze the soft grass and Damien’s arms around him. Mathew whished this moment could last forever, but soon he felt Damien gently shaking him out of his half-slumber and pushing him up from his position of laying on Damien’s chest with Damien’s arms wrapped protectively around his waist. “Come on, Matty it’s time to get up” Damien whispered running his fingers softly through Mathew’s light brown hair. Mathew shook his head and tried to snuggle back down into Damien’s chest.

“Don’t wanna.” Mathew said, his voice slurred from sleep, and hugged tighter around Damien’s middle.

“You have to Matty it’s already getting kind of dark and your dad will be mad if you get home late.” Damien said sadly knowing how hard it was for Mathew at home. After a few minutes of trying to detach Mathew from himself Damien sighed and Mathew looked up, his sad chocolate-brown eyes meeting Damien’s emerald green. “He will be anyway you know.”

“Be what?”

“Mad.” Mathew said suddenly looking far away with a dark look crossing his face. A cold dread swept over Mathew at the thought of going home, his dad would surely be drunk by now, as it seemed he always was now since work had become more stressful and he was on the verge of being fired. It was always the same lately Mathew would come home and his father would berate his “sissy-boy freak” of a son until Mathew either left or his father got bored and left him alone. He wasn’t really what you’d call abusive he never really beat Mathew, he just knocked him around sometimes but nothing could be worse than the look of disgust in his fathers eyes when he looked at him. In his father’s eyes Mathew was a freak, and that’s all he’d ever be.

“Oh, Matty I wish I could you didn’t have to go through this, I wish it was as easy for you to come out to your parents as it was with mine.” Damien’s family had been so great when he had first come out. They knew that it was just a part of who Damien was and they didn’t want him to change who he was for anyone. Damien’s family had become like a second family to Mathew they always made him feel welcome. They never made him feel like he was a bad person or that something was wrong with him, something

Mathew was grateful for when it seemed like he was being attacked from all sides.

Mathew sighed and stood up “Can we just run away somewhere?” he said idly

“Like where?” Damien said wrapping his arms around Mathew laughter edging his voice.

“The moon or Paris…we could make cookies.”

“Moon cookies would taste bad, like cheese.” Damien said laughing outright now; he loved Mathew’s odd way of looking at things when he didn’t want to face reality.

“You’re right.” Mathew sighed, hugging Damien tighter “I just don’t want to go.”

“I know, I’ll see you tomorrow and you can come over after school. Momma’s getting worried; she says you’re not over enough.”

“That sounds good. Tell Emma and your Momma hi for me.” Mathew said giving Damien one last hug before they went their separate ways home. Mathew walked along the darkened street thinking about all that had happened this year, in so many ways it had been the best in his life, in other’s it was the worst. He had gained a wonderful and loving boyfriend and a new group of friends but he had also lost all of his old friends and his spot on the lacrosse team because his old friends couldn’t stand to be on a team with a freak like him. Why did it have to be so hard, why couldn’t he still be with Damien and be friends with his old group? It’s not like he was a different person, why couldn’t they just except that he was in love and get over it? Why was only one type of love right? He missed the companionship of his old friends and the brotherly bond he had with the lacrosse team. Damien’s group of friends was great, but it wasn’t the same. He felt like an outsider he didn’t want to be considered as just “the boyfriend”. Mathew came back to himself standing at his front door. Cold dread crept into his stomach as he turned the door handle.

He looked around hoping his dad was either sober or passed out so he wouldn’t have to deal with him tonight. Mathew walked into the front room, is stomach clenching at the sight of the many empty beer bottles on the floor.

“Where the hell have you been?” Came a growl from the opposite side of the room. Mathew’s mouth went dry and a panicked fog started to cloud his mind when he heard the tone in his father’s voice. He was obviously drunk and angry, Mathew really hated being around him when he was like this.

“I- I told you I was going to the p-park after school with some friends, remember dad?” Mathew stuttered, nervously scratching at the back of his hand. Even though he was now a good deal taller than his dad, Mathew was still felt like a scared child when he was around his father.

“You didn’t go with that little faggot friend of yours did you?” he said with a sneer. Mathew was starting to feel hot rage boil up inside him if he wasn’t careful he would do something he would regret, he just hated that word it always made him mad, especially is it was directed at someone he loved. “I told you I don’t like you seeing him, it’s not like you need to start acting even more like a pansy. I won’t tolerate a queer in my house.”

“Don’t call him that. He has a name, it’s Damien.”

“What, your sticking up for you little girlfriend?” Mathew’s dad said grabbing his shoulder and roughly pushing him away managing to knock him into a table in the process. “You make me sick; get out of my sight you filthy little freak.”

Mathew ran up to his room and sank down onto his bed. It wasn’t as bad as it usually was tonight. He could already tell he would have a bruise on his hip where he hit the table, though. He rubbed absently at the spot wishing the next day would come quicker so he could seek refuge with his love and be with people that wanted him instead of being in a house with someone that hated him. Mathew closed his eyes, thinking of Damien as the darkness of sleep enfolded him into its embrace.