There was a saying, “Love is the greatest feeling of all.” I always believed that. However, there was also another saying, “Love can destroy you.” I also believed that. Sometimes, even, I pity those people whose lives were destroyed by the said feeling. But I never thought it could happen to me…never…but it did. Well, almost.

-Sacrifice-

My name’s Valerie. I have three best friends. She was one of them. Her name was Antoinette. She was my best friend long since I can remember. I haven’t even met him then. We were the living epitome of ‘opposites attract’, but it never bothered us. We always stood beside each other, though we had different cliques. We had our fair share of fights and arguments, but we always end up being much closer after each incident.

But then I met him.

His name was Matthew. We were friends then, and I felt attracted somehow. But I shoved the feeling off, since I was still young then.

The following year, he and I got into a huge argument. We avoided each other ever since.

Yet, somehow, I found myself always babbling about him. My friends said I like him, but I always refuse, saying that the only feeling I have for him is hate. My friends seem to think otherwise, though.

Then I met my other best friend, Elise. She helped me with Matthew. And she succeeded.

Matthew and I were friends again. Of course, I was happy. But my ‘supposed’ attraction towards him faded.

But then, Antoinette met Matthew. I’ve always told her how I hated him, and since she was the ‘understanding’ BFF, she had grown disliking Matthew as well.

But things changed.

And I suddenly found myself listening to Antoinette crushing about Matthew. I was okay with it, since my feelings for him died already.

Surprisingly as it seems, the year after that, Matthew and I got closer and I felt attracted again. He considered us as best friends and I was glad. It was enough for me that we were able to get close as to share secrets with each other.

But as I’ve said, things change.

Antoinette and Matthew started getting closer with each other. They were much, much closer than our ‘best friend’ relationship. I secretly envied her, but I never was courageous enough as to voice out my thoughts.

So it wasn’t really a surprise when she confessed to him.

Unfortunately, the feeling wasn’t mutual. Secretly, I was relieved.

Yet, somehow, he and Antoinette got MUCH closer after that incident.

I thought I’d be okay with it, but my actions proved me wrong when I realized I was badmouthing her in front of Elise. I felt terribly guilty, but I guess hurt and jealousy overcame my guilt as I found myself repeating my mistake again.

Is this how it should really be? I knew I had no chance, so I just squeezed myself in our ‘best friend’ relationship…but…Why Antoinette? She was always there for me…she opened up herself to me from the very beginning, but I, on the other hand, hid from her. I refused telling her my deepest feelings, thoughts, while she shared hers without a second thought. When did I become so selfish? How? Why must this happen? How will I tell her? Him? Would they even understand? Would they even think about how I felt all throughout the years? How will they react? How would she react? Will she hate me? Disgust me? No, I can’t stand it even just by thinking about it. I won’t tell them. I won’t ruin the relationship we have. I’d rather suffer alone.

After much thinking, I decided to let Matthew and Antoinette be. If my feeling for him was going to be the thorn in my relationship with her, then, I’d rather sacrifice my feelings, rather than involve myself with Matthew, and lose Antoinette. The pain would still be there…but it’ll heal.

I know I did the right thing. Sacrificing my own happiness for the happiness of others was a decision I made for all of us. And I don’t regret it.

And besides, Matthew’s just Matthew. There are still many fish in the sea, right?

-Koharu Mitsuki-

A/N: Dedicated to my three best friends. I love them so much.

This story is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.