Woman of Wood and Lace

By Kaitlyn Grissom

This is not to say

That we should go back to the old way, but…

Where before there were

blushing smiles

flushing porcelain cheeks and

sidelong glances, white satin

There are now

obnoxious giggles,

fake suntans caked with blush and

come-hither lip gloss, and push-up bras.

Where before there were

subservient portrait-women (porcelain

dolls) that pursued

trivial amusements in the courtyard

and sun-golden wives behind the plough

There are now

confident, independent, impudent

whores

Who prove their equality through

obscenity,

spitting,

ripped blue jeans

And their femininity through beltish

miniskirts,

pretended weakness and

blatant allusions to casual sex.

This is not to say

That we should go back to the old way

I am not an ox,

and I am not a thing to be stroked and admired.

But perhaps

If some of that quiet dignity

discretion

subtlety, Could be retained

A woman of lace and wood, of

Good earth and

Outer space

Who could dig in the mud and

Glide across the marble tiles

With equal grace and serenity

This is not to say

That we should go back to the old way, but

In ancient China, a girl was not supposed to

laugh at a man who brazenly touched her forearm

And I think perhaps,

that would be best.

Author’s Note: These are all the things I wanted to say in the poem, but would have ruined it aesthetically if I had included them:

To all of you men that want a sweet, beautiful, compliant woman who will cook you dinner and agree with everything you say: I hope you find one, because that is all you deserve.

To all of you men who want a gorgeous Amazon blonde who will put out at the drop of a hat, loves football, and lets you play video games: I hope you find one, because that is all you deserve.

It was the intention of this poem to point out the virtues of the old-fashioned model of an ideal woman, and so suggest that modern women retain these qualities in addition to their contemporary freedom.

The women of pre-revolutionary China were very much porcelain dolls: They were supposed to be quiet, chaste, innocent, and obedient. It was their job to be a picture of grace. A samurai woman was expected to commit suicide upon the death of her husband. I am by no means suggesting that our lives should be dependent upon men, but I have to admit that I admire with great nostalgia the distant, untouchable honor that these women possessed.

It is important for a woman to realize that being equal to a man is not the same thing as being like a man. We are different; we have different limitations and different abilities, and we should take pride in that rather than attempt to deny it. It is possible for a girl to be intimidatingly intelligent, confident, strong, and athletic without being crude or losing her sophistication. If you want to play tackle football with the boys, go ahead, but don’t curse and chew gum with your mouth open on the sidelines. As my good friend William Golding would have put it,

“It is silly for women to think that they are equal to men. They are far superior and always have been.”