|A Series of Inconspicuous Murders
Author: Aikida PM
At some point in our life, something dies. Something important, something tangible, something intangible, something felt. Sometimes the murder brings us happiness, pain, confusion. A series of shorts.//individual warnings on the stories.//Rated: Fiction T - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,246 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 09-09-06 - Published: 05-08-06 - id: 2169792
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Author's Note: Well, after all that horrible morbid stuff in the two previous chapters, there isa lighthearted one to follow.
The inspiration: Um... hmm... just wanted to write a story about guys being idiots I guess. Hahahahahaha.
Oh yes, she was a hot one. The boss definitely scored on hiring the new secretary. She had an ass to kill, a bust to boot, and a pretty little face that could make kittens jealous. Yes, definitely a tally mark on the boss' side. The three men around the single desk sighed, watching the woman tap away at her keyboard. She was a doll.
"Man, look at her. She's got a great body, a great personality, and she's got one hell of a voice. Have you heard it? It's like the flutter of an angel's wings." Pete sighed again, loosing himself to a deep trancelike state of nostalgia. He sighed once more before closing his eyes.
"Angel's wings? It was definitely something so much more heavenly than angel's wings. It was like the voice of the sweet mother Mary," Carl said softly, gazing longingly at the secretary.
"That is so blasphemous. Have you ever heard Mary's voice?" Dan scowled, glancing back and smiling at the woman. "She has the prettiest hair I've ever seen. It's so long. It looks so soft. It's like silk."
"And you say my comparison's pale, Carl. Silk, Dan? Silk? Silk is like burlap compared to her hair. It's more like clouds." Pete waved his fingers a little to make his point, though it didn't really help much with his argument.
"So her hair can't be the smoothest clothe around, but it can be a nebulous fog of water droplets?"
"Don't get technical on me Dan. I'm not saying her voice sounds like 'fwih-fwih' either," Pete snarled, giving Dan a dirty look. It was their normal routine. Find a girl that looked pretty and talk about her until they were noticed. The normal breaking point was in about five minutes. "She sure is nice."
They took a moment to nod to themselves, smiling drunkenly. They were so busy admiring the woman that they failed to see the other one walk through the elevator doors until she had approached the desk. The secretary stood up and began talking; her black hair bobbing and she spoke in an enthusiastic tone to the blonde in front of her. They were about to sigh again when the secretary leaned over her desk and kissed the other woman.
"Shit man!" Pete exclaimed.
"That's the pits."
"Dangit Carl? Dangit? We upgraded man! We're no longer on elementary curse words. It's okay to use the big boy stuff now," Pete chided, smacking his hand over his face and sliding it down. "Well, that's fucking great. All the pretty women are only interested in the other pretty women. How many times have we come across this phenomenon?"
"Seven times," Dan said quickly, shaking his head and walking away. "Seven horrific and dream shattering times, Pete. Seven apocalyptic times. Seven-"
"Okay, man. I think we get that it was bad times. I'm wondering though. Isn't that supposed to turn us on or something?" Carl inquired, looking back at Pete and Dan.
"What the hell, Carl. Why would we get turned on by action we can't get in on? It's like standingon first baseat a baseball game and being told you can't play. Its-the-pits," Dan snarled, throwing his hands up in the air and attempting to walk away only to find his path blocked by the big man himself.
"Dan, Pete, and Carl. How many times this week haven't you snacked on eye candy for three hours? Keep this up and I'll show you all the worst pit to be in: unemployed." The white haired, hooked nose boss retreated back to his office. Pete glanced at his watch.
"He was about thirty seconds early today. Either that or my watch is slow."
"No, he was early. Mine says it too. Bummer," Carl mumbled.
"Carl, I hear another kid's curse from your mouth and I swear I will eat your last brownie. Got it?"
Carl nodded slowly, taking his seat back at his desk. "Just another day in the life of your typical bachelor I guess," he muttered softly, getting back to his work.