Crushed,
Beneath the chaos.
Suffocating on confusion.
Feeling bitter.
It all falls away.
Revealing how horrible it really is...
Blood tears,
Blood and tears.
Anger.
The pain becoming me,
Falling,
Farther than I thought I could.
Can't breathe.
Hurting.
Because.
Drawing into the flesh of my hands with a knife.
Cold.
Ugly laughter,
Agonized laughter.
I can see the bitterness,
Falling like grey water.
Shaking,
Numb from loss of control.
No control left...
Gone into whose hands?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Slowly, I am less and less,
As I do not understand,
So I can pretend nothing is wrong,
Since there will be nothing there.
Lost,
As reality is pulled from my weak, cold fingers.
Seeing my death,
Hoping this hell will soon be over...
Even if there will be nothing...
It would be better...
Better than barely surviving,
Swinging from a weak thread,
Above the darkness.
I don't know if I will come back next time...
Sweetness.
Melancholy.
If I drop,
I will shatter at the bottom of the shadow.
Won't come back.
Won't.
Won't be anywhere.
Gone.
Non-existent.
To feel nothingness,
Would be amazing.
I don't want this,
Any of this.
Overwhelmed.
If I fall,
I will be gone.