I sit on my unmade bed with a cardboard box

holding a few of the countless objects

that trigger memories of you

a timeline on a one way track to d i s a s t e r

I pull out a creased picture of us

(see this one right here?)

the picture of us with your

arms around my shoulders

and you're gripping that olive-colored beer bottle

(it held your hand more than I did)

this is where I screwed up

and this letter here, folded into some shape

most girls forget how to make after 5th grade

(but I was always good at remembering useless things)

stained with blue ink and ripped in one corner

the one I wrote in 6th period Science Class

this is where I was sorry

(sosorrysosorry please f o r g i v e me)

I trace the scar on my hip

long and angry and

still r a d i a t i n g of summer heat

(just like it's faded sisters

scattered among now invisible bruises)

it's sick and twisted but this one is my favorite

(I remember it so clearly it's the only thing that

tells me I'm not insane and that it really did happen)

this is where you didn't forgive me

(you denied my apology

again and again and again)