:The Nurse Who Loved Me:

It was love at first sight.

The first time I saw her, I knew. She's just like a nurse. She's so pure and innocent as she's dressed in white among walking devils in the rust. Such a sweet angel. All nurses are. She's serene in a chaotic atmosphere where I suffocate. I knew immediately when I saw her that she could help me. She is the walking, living, breathing reminder that I needed to go back to sleep.

She confirmed my thoughts when she saw me and smiled. This was no ordinary smile. It was not forced. It was not sad. It was not joyous. It was a gentle mellow smile. This smile brings me to a level of intoxication like a drug.

But that's all in the past now. These days, I am something more to her. She greets me in her cheery voice at our usual meeting spot. I stared at her. Once again, I am reminded.

She could help me. She could heal me. She could lift me back up to the clouds and the sun. She could mend everything. She could fill all the holes in me. She is a drug, this nurse.

Nurses are beautiful. This is all I know.

She waves a hand in front of my face to awaken my attention from its numbness. She asks me if everything is alright.

I tell her no.

Her response is of concern. She wonders if she can do anything to help me.

I tell her yes. Yes she can. She can fix everything. I am surrendering. I am seceding from this world.

The next thing I know, I am dizzy and unable to stand. She asks me, "Are you sure?"

I nod.

She smiles her mellow smile for me. One last time. I am unable to let it go. It's imprinted in my mind. It's soothing. That gentle smile is the first step to my healing. My first dosage of a drug.

I pull back my sleeve for her and she cleans the skin. "This may sting," is what drifts into my ears as she readies a needle. The twinge marks the needle's presence, and then it's gone.

I look at her. I gaze deeply into her eyes. I see what lies there, a wave of guilt and remorse wash over me. But it disappears in a fog as my vision clouds along with the knowledge of why she did what I asked of her.

The nurse who loved me is also the nurse that killed me.