It all started on Monday morning. Dawn usually hated Mondays, but she was eager to show off her new hairstyle to all of her friends. So she got up extra early, at 3:00 AM, to style her hair. When that was done, it was only 3:14, so Dawn decided to put together the most amazing outfit in the world. She put on a pair of brand-new jeans, a crisp white Toronto Maple Leafs T-Shirt, and of course her favourite pair of tweety bird socks. After making herself a healthy breakfast of pankcakes and scrambled eggs, it was only five thirty.

"Ugh," Dawn grumbled. "Why did I have to get up so early?" She turned on the TV, but even Breakfast Television hadn't started yet. This is so stupid, she thought. "Maybe I'll put on some makeup!" she finally decided.

She ran to her bedroom and grabbed the suitcase full of makeup, and then hauled it to the bathroom. "First, eyeshadow!" she decided.

Five minutes later, she realized that the eyeshadow was a bad idea. "Maybe a little mascara will work, instead." Dawn muttered as she grabbed her mom's Extra Lengthening Vulmonous Thick Lashes Mascara. "Ow!" she shreiked as she missed her eyelashes, poking herself in the eye. "Dammit!"

She put down the mascara, blinking furiously in an attempt to clear her vision. Unfortunately, things were still lopsided, and she realised that her contact lens was stuck to the end of the mascara wand. "What the fuck?" Dawn wondered aloud. "How is that even possible?"

She tried to clean the contact lens, but it was hopeless. Dawn growled in exasperation, then grabbed a new lens. After poking herself in the eyes a few times, she managed to put in in, and she blinked at the clock. Six thirty, not bad, she thought. She quickly put on some blush, and a little lipstick, then looked at herself in the mirror. "Ah!" She shrieked. "I look like a clown!" She splashed water on her face, but that just made everything blend together in more vivid colours than before. Now, she looked like an abstract painting. Turning the tap on full blast, Dawn stuck her face under the spray. Then, spying her mother's makeup remover, she decided to try that instead. Two minutes later, the makeup was gone. Unfortunately for her, the makeup had melted into her brand new, white Toronto Maple Leafs t-shirt.

Dawn swore proficiently, impresssing her naive-yet-evil-hellhound chihuahua pet dog that some people liked to call Sandy.

Looking at the clock, Dawn realised it was seven, and she needed to be out the door like, NOW!

Grabbing something for lunch and shoving it into her backpack, Dawn looked around frantically for something to change into. Rushing into her bedroom, she realised she'd forgotten to do laundry on the weekend, and nothing was clean.

Ready to cry (which was okay, cause the mascara was gone!) Dawn grabbed the first shirt she saw in her closet and threw it on before running out the door.

She was halfway to Claudine's house when she realised she was wearing the dreaded PINK SWEATER!

Dawn stopped, kicked a tree, then continued to Claudine's.

As usual, Claudine was standing - in an attractive pose - at the end of her driveway, twirling her hair around her finger and gazing adoringly at the Gibson's front door. "Hello, Dawn." She said dreamily, staring off into space, while managing to look intelligent, sophisticated, and amazingly graceful, sexy, and down-to-earth. "I think today is the day he'll finally notice me!"

Dawn grunted and kept walking, forcing Claudine to half-run, half-walk to keep up. "He's so dreamy, isn't he?" Claudine continued. "Oh, do you think he likes me?"

Dawn kept walking, a little faster.

"You look good today, Dawn. Is that a new sweater?"

Dawn growled at her. "I don't want to talk about it!"

Claudine gasped. "Oh. My. God! That's The Sweater, isn't it!?"

The past Christmas, Dawn had received a gift from her cousin Holly, who was two years older than her and a complete bitch. Holly had given her - a sweater. And not just any sweater. A PINK sweater. Not only did Dawn absolutely hate the colour pink, she abhorred sweaters in all forms except cardigan.

And just to make it worse, it had a V-neck. It actually showed her cleavage!

Dawn and Claudine finally made it to the bus stop, and Claudine grabbed Dawn's arm. "There he is!" She hissed. Jamie Gibson and his brother, Keith, were standing there, looking - in Dawn's opinion - like total idiots.

"Good Morning, Ladies!" Jamie said loudly as they approached. He grinned at Dawn.

Dawn pulled up her sweater a bit. Why hadn't she thought to bring a coat? This is going to be the most humilliating day of my life, she thought miserably.