Jake Vince, USMC, Day 1

Ok, I get here, some place named Karkland or something. The soldiers seem to be in good shape, and the tanks aren't held together with ductape. Although that isn't a bad idea.

Abd al-Majiid, MEC, Day 1

Alrighty. I get here, and they aren't blowing each other up. A good start. I swear, if one of them says anything about "Jihad Jeeps" I will stick my AK-47 up their ass.

Jake Vince, USMC, Day 2

Okay. Day Two. Things are getting a little strange. First, I ask a spec ops guy where the Humvees are, and he replied with gargling noises. I said I was going to have his ass court-marshalled, but he just giggled.

Smartass.

Abd al-Majiid, MEC, Day 2

The Americans have still yet to attack. I don't know whether it's because they fear us, or the desert has gotten the better of them.

Last Night, I swear to Allah that I heard English voices singing "100 bottles of beer on the wall".

Maybe my helmet's on too tight.

Jake Vince, USMC, Day 3

Now I'm getting worried. The UAV trailer's nothing more than a cardboard box with the words "Magikul skaner" written on the side. And the artillary is some BB guns on dirt piles. What the hell?

Abd al-Majiid, MEC, Day 3

Since the Americans havn't attacked us yet, I am staging attack of our own. Now, if only I could get them to pay attention to me without wondering at the wonders of their own fingers.

Jake Vince, USMC, Day 4

Ok, I can hear the enemy coming closer. I am now fully-aware that my team is severly retarded, but I believe in miracles. My machine gunner's IQ is 88, so there's still hope.

Abd al-Majiid, MEC, Day 4

And the attack begins. Turns out, the tank was a friggin' cardboard cutout strapped onto a car. Also, half my men died when they thought that the large blinking area that signled artillary was a beacon for magical candy.

Worst part is, we're only halfway from the American Base.

Jake Vince, USMC, Day 5

Apparently, the MEC has started fighting amongst themselves. Good, because my team couldn't defend against a bird.

In fact, I know they can't, because they all broke down in fear when they saw a small bird perch on the Gas Station.

Abd al-Majiid, MEC, Day 5

Well, it happened. Some jackass Special Ops put C4 on a FMV and yelled "JIHAD JEEP!"

I won't go into detail. Let's just say I was Bubba for a day.

Jake Vince, USMC, Day 6

I shot one of them. He was rushing at me with a club, so I shot him in the head. It amazes me that he was smart enough to know how to use one.

Once the rest of my team saw what I did, they called me "master of the flash stick" and started worshipping me. I hate this job.

Abd al-Majiid, MEC, Day 6

Why do I even bother? My team can't drive, and the ones that can are sexually attracted to their own claymores and landmines. The medics eat their own supplies, and the last supply drop squashed a whole squad.

Gotta admit, that was pretty funny. And this may be the beer talking, but that lady on the battle com sounds pretty hot.

Jake Vince, USMC, Day 7

Screw this. I'm joining the Arabs.

Abd al-Majiid, MEC, Day 7

Screw this. I'm joining the Americans.