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Code Black
As far back as I can remember, there were drills for what to do if the war ever went any farther than politics. I never really understood it until I was much older. To me, it was like an earthquake drill. Get under your desk, wait for everything to stop, wait a while, and then go outside. The only real difference was that instead of the ground shaking, someone’s voice would come over the public address system and say “Code Black”. I learned that code black meant that all hope was lost but that was not until much later. I didn’t ask why when I was young… it was just part of life.
I was a pretty happy kid. I was given anything I could ever have wanted, and I admit, I was a bit spoiled. My parents had a lot of money and that was how it had always been so I took it for granted. They were always talking about business and money and I found that pretty boring so I didn’t really ever pay a whole lot of attention to them. They never bothered with a nanny so I had to keep myself entertained.
Like most little kids, I played with my dolls and watched kid movies and played in the yard. I had a few playmates but they were never really my friends and I was never really theirs. My mother or father would invite them over to keep me company while they made business deals with the parents.
I was about twelve years old when I first really thought about the war. I’d just come home from private school and I was still in my uniform. Truth be told, I’d skipped the afternoon and went home to draw or something stupid like that. I didn’t really like school because none of the people there were very genuine. Being at a school full of rich, spoiled kids and being one myself didn’t exactly breed deep and meaningful friendships. Anyway, I walked into the house and closed the doors. My parents were never home before five o’clock so I didn’t think it would matter if I went home. Who would tell? The maids? The butler? Yeah right! They weren’t getting paid enough to care whether or not I was at school.
You can imagine my surprise, however, when I headed for my room and heard my parent’s voices in the dining room. They were talking to a man who was dressed to the nines in business attire. I was used to seeing people dressed like that so I didn’t think much of it, but curiosity got the better of me. I couldn’t understand who had come to our house or why my parents were here and not at work. So I hid around the corner and eavesdropped on their conversation.
“How many seats are left?” I heard my mother ask the businessman.
There were some hums and haws from a male voice that I assumed was the businessman’s, “Well, Mrs. Valentini, the seats are limited, as you know. Already we’ve sold nearly three hundred.”
There was a long silence before my father spoke, “Where will we be taken if we do ever need to leave Earth?”
I was surprised by his question since the thought of leaving the planet had never once crossed my mind. How could we leave? There was nothing wrong with it.
I listened for the answer to that question, “Space exploration has yet to find a planet like Earth, but the Titan was designed to be completely inhabitable for humans for generations.”
The unease in my father’s voice scared me. This wasn’t a conversation I liked at all. “How will we know if the war has… gotten that bad? Can we know in time?”
The voice did not mirror my father’s worried tone, “Yes. If you buy the tickets, I’ll give you these beepers. If they go off, that means Code Black. Get to the Titan with your tickets as fast as you can. You will board the ship and once everyone’s aboard, we will take off.” There was a pause, “If it’s at all possible, we’ll try to return to Earth. If not, we’ll have to take other measures.”
I was listening with rapt attention. I wanted to peer around the corner just then but I didn’t dare with the seriousness of the conversation. It scared me to think of going into a space ship and maybe or maybe not ever coming back. What would happen to the people who didn’t get on the space ship?
“We’re going to have to think about this, Mr. Nelson,” my mother finally said. I recognized that as a dismissal and as much as I wanted to know what was going on, I had a greater desire to not get caught skipping school so I found a place to hide until they were gone.
I thought about the conversation for a long time after that. Other people noticed my thoughtfulness but I always told them that it was nothing and the subject was dropped. People didn’t like talking about the war because it was an unhappy subject. It was frightening and people tended to be happier when they didn’t have to think about unhappy and frightening subjects. Apparently though, when it was brought up, it was hard to stop thinking about and I didn’t want to give any of the other students at my school a reason to be mad at me so it was easier to lie through my teeth and have them forget it.
After a couple of weeks of thinking about it, we moved to a different city and my parents spoke to me about the ticket. They tried to explain it all to me in a way that made it sound like it wasn’t really a big deal. I pretended to buy into what they were saying when they told me that I had to keep my ticket on me at all times from then on and that I had to go and find them if my beeper ever went off. I told them that I would then they smiled at me. I was angry that they were trying to lead me to believe that leaving the Earth would be like a vacation rather than an escape so I went for a walk to get away from the mansion and my parents. They didn’t even notice that I’d gone.
At sixteen years old, I had better things to do than watch the news or pay attention to current events, anyway. Around that time, I discovered boys. I always considered myself pretty and apparently so did several of the young men I went to school with. I always had a boyfriend on the days that it mattered for that sort of thing, like on Valentine’s Day and New Years Eve, but I never really cared about any of them. I was too young to worry about actually liking any of the guys I was with. If they looked nice and had a fat wallet, that was enough for me. They thought the same way about me but I always liked to think that they actually cared about me. I think I even believed that for a while.
I started going to parties and doing all the things kids do when they start to discover the world. Thankfully, I never got involved in the worse drugs like cocaine and heroin. I just stuck to smoking up and getting drunk. I never did either when I wasn’t at a party but for a while I went to parties nearly every weekend. When my friends started getting into some worse stuff and one of them woke up with a major headache next to a boy she didn’t recognize, I figured it was time to cool things down. The people I hung out with at the time weren’t too happy at first but they quickly moved on and I focused on other things. By that time, I was about eighteen years old and the world, as much as I tried to ignore it, was starting to plant itself in my face.
In school, we were learning about the history of the war and we would have current event discussions. I watched the news sometimes and it worried me how bad the war was getting and how horrible the other countries were being. I couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t just be like my country. There were protests all the time that I’d been completely oblivious to my whole upbringing. I actually found myself at one of the protests. We were protesting the development of nuclear bombs. I didn’t really know much about it at the time, but I thought it was the thing to do and that people would listen to us. Well, instead the crowd was tear-gassed and broken up quickly. That was when I met Pax.
Pax Russell was a soldier. He’d served some time as a “peace-keeper” in the Middle East and he actually had some idea of what was going on in the world. I was busy chanting with the crowd and throwing my fist in the air in time with the chant when the young man grabbed my arm and started to drag me away. I tried to pull my hand away from him and yelled at him to let me go but he ignored me and kept his grip. I kept struggling until we were nearly a block away from the crowd when he turned to look at me and said, “Shut up!” I was so surprised that he’d said that to me that I just stared at him. He continued speaking after that, “Look, your little protest has drawn the attention of the police and in a few minutes it’s really not going to be a very nice place to be. If I were you, I’d trot my little ass home and forget about protesting. It won’t do anyone any good.”
Sometime during his speech, I’d gotten my wits together and pulled my hand away, “Who the hell do you think you are? Let go of me! You’re in favour of the war, aren’t you?” I was furious with him for treating me so disrespectfully.
He just rolled his eyes, “Look, that doesn’t matter. Get out of here.”
“No!” I said forcefully then turned to head back to the protest.
He didn’t let me go so easily. He grabbed my wrist again and pulled me around so that I had to look at him. Before then, I’d been too stubborn to really bother studying him, but at that moment, I was forced to see his messy, dark brown hair, his strong jaw and most of all, the determined look in his sharp, brown eyes. His eyebrows arched downward over his eyes in a frown. I couldn’t have spoken then if my life depended on it. His hands held me firmly in place and I had to listen to what he had to say, “Listen to me,” his voice was strangely soft but still demanded that I pay attention, “You want to know who I am? I’m Private Pax Russell. The cops are on the way to break up this protest and they’ll do that in the fastest way possible. You need to get out of here before you get hurt!”
I could feel my lips tighten and I glared back at him, “Why do you care whether or not I get hurt?”
He stared at me for a long moment before he answered, “You look like a nice girl who is getting involved in something you don’t understand,” despite that he was clearly treating me like an ignorant child, the sincerity in his voice and the pleading look he gave me kept me from yelling back at him, “Please… just get out of here. Go home.”
Just then, we heard the strangest sound I’d ever heard. It sounded like someone was beating on hundreds of plastic drums and Pax and I both turned to see the police coming up, beating their batons on their shields. He looked back at me, “Come with me. We need to get out of here.” At that, he turned and pulled me along by the wrist. I followed him through the streets and alleys and finally we were out of the protest area. We stopped and I sat down to take a breather. Pax just looked at me.
I didn’t notice for a while because I was still trying to figure out why the police had broken up such a calm protest. It wasn’t like anything was getting broken and we weren’t being rowdy. After a few moments, I looked up and saw Pax staring at me, “What are you looking at?” I looked at myself to see if there was something on me.
He completely ignored my question, “What’s your name?”
“Lita…”
He nodded in a way that made it seem like he already knew who I was, “Let me walk you home.”
I nodded and let him walk me home.
I decided that I would find Pax and see what he had to say on the matter. He was in the militia so I figured he might know a thing or two.
I headed down to the army base. It was surrounded by barbed wire and electric fences so I walked around to the gate. There were two guards standing at attention with big guns. I felt pretty intimidated by them but I had to ask anyway. I walked up to the first one and, feeling like a complete idiot, asked him if he could tell me how I could get a hold of Private Pax Russell.
He gave me a weird look, “Go to the civilian entrance. It’s around the corner there. If he’s here and not busy then maybe you could talk to him.”
I thanked him and headed to the civilian entrance. I talked to the person in the office and he informed me that Pax was working but he’d take his break in a little while and I could talk to him then. I nodded and took a look at some pamphlets while I waited. Not long after, someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around to see Pax in his army gear with an inquisitive look on his face. “What are you doing here?”
I bit my lip, suddenly feeling foolish, “I wanted to ask you something… I don’t think we’ll have time, though, if you’re just on a break…”
He raised an eyebrow at me then answered, “I get off work in four hours. Why don’t I take you out for coffee then? I’ll pick you up from your house.”
I agreed and headed home.
“Young man, may I help you?” He said in the stuck up way that my parents had hired him for.
Pax hadn’t seen me yet and seemed kind of surprised by the butler’s question, “Yeah, uh, is Lita here?”
Before the butler could answer, I had gotten to the door, “Yep! Right here! Let’s go!” I swept Pax out the door with me before anyone else had a chance to say anything and prayed that the butler wouldn’t tell my parents that I was out with a young man that wasn’t in our social circle. I’d received lectures for doing just that before and I wasn’t up for another one, especially since going out for coffee with Pax wasn’t anything like what my parents probably suspected it was.
“What’s the hurry?” Pax asked while trying to get his feet under him.
I shot him a sympathetic look. “My parent’s aren’t the most accepting when it comes to me being out with young men who don’t come from families as wealthy as our own.”
He gave me a look that seemed to be a cross between insult and confusion but he didn’t say anything to that. Instead, he got into the drivers seat, put his seatbelt on and once I’d done the same in the passenger seat, he backed out of the driveway. He didn’t say anything for a while so I decided to start a conversation, “So where are we going?”
“Starbucks,” he answered simply and kept driving.
I frowned. Was he mad at me? Well, I’d try again, “How was work?”
“Fine,” he replied in a flat tone.
“Look, I probably said that the wrong way. My parents are pretty stuck up. It’s easier not to have to deal with them at all. I didn’t mean to insult you so you don’t have to be mad at me.”
He cast an angry look at me, “Would you be mad at me if I told you it was easier to let my parents think you’re a stuck up, spoiled brat than to explain to them that you’re not?”
I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I still didn’t know how well my parents would take to the situation… what was I thinking? What situation was this, anyways? I was going out for coffee with him to find out what he knew about what was going on with the war. That wasn’t a crime, was it?
I looked down, “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”
“Yeah, okay…” He said and kept driving, “So what did you want to talk to me about?”
Well, at least he was talking to me now, “I wanted to find out what you know about the war.” I paused to gauge his reaction but when he made no outward changes, I continued, “You seemed like you knew a lot more than me at the protest.”
“I probably do,” He answered calmly.
I watched him for a moment. The wind ruffled his hair as he drove and I noticed the toned muscles along his arms as they reached out to the steering wheel. His hands rested comfortably around the wheel. He seemed completely oblivious to the fact that I was checking him out and kept talking, “You don’t want to know about the war. It’s not a nice thing. A pretty little thing like you shouldn’t spend her time thinking about things like that. Live your life and have some fun. It’s not your place to – “
“Don’t.” I interrupted, “I didn’t come to you to be lectured down to. It’s bad enough that my parents are condescending to me, so don’t you start. I want answers.”
To my surprise, he smirked, “You’re assertive. Okay, I’ll answer your questions to the best of my ability.” He flicked on the blinker and we turned into the parking lot. I decided I wouldn’t start until we’d sat down since I didn’t want to be interrupted. We got out of the car and once we were through the door, we walked up to the counter.
“Do you want anything?” he asked me.
“Oh no, I have money, thanks!”
He pulled out his wallet then looked at me, “I said I’d take you out for coffee. That means I’m paying. What do you want?”
I couldn’t really argue with him when he was insisting he pay so I ordered a cappuccino and he ordered a coffee and we sat down.
Pax studied me for a moment as he leaned over the table, “So what would you like to know?”
I bit my lip in thought for a moment then decided on my question, “How bad is it, really? I don’t really trust the news stations.”
“And rightly so,” he replied with a troubled look. “They sugar coat it quite a bit. When I was in the Middle East, it was bad.” I watched his expression change from troubled to upset but he continued with no apparent change in his tone, “Lita,” he trapped and held my eyes when he said my name and I was paralyzed. “I don’t want you to freak out or anything, but I’m worried. It’s a world war… you know what that means, right?”
“Yes, of course.” I was almost insulted that he would think that I didn’t know what a world war was. Even if I didn’t I could probably figure it out by the name.
He nodded and kept talking, “Luckily, no one has used nukes yet, but there have been a lot of threats. If anyone uses nukes, though, everyone will use nukes. That’s like Hiroshima all over the world.”
I’d heard of Hiroshima in my history classes and the mention of that city gave me a chill. The conversation my parents had had all those years ago came flooding back to me and I began to understand the importance of the ticket I had on me at all times. “Is there any chance people would survive?”
“I suppose…” He answered, leaning back and finally releasing my gaze by looking thoughtfully at his coffee, “There’s always a chance that someone will be in the right place at the right time, but the way things are looking, that person is going to have to stay there for a very long time. There are enough bombs with enough power to destroy the planet several times over.”
I thought again, debating whether or not I wanted to ask my next question. After a few moments, I decided that I’d better. “What about the Titan?”
Pax laughed, “Yeah, right! If you can get a ticket, maybe!”
“So I’ve got a chance?”
He stopped laughing and stared at me in disbelief, “You mean…”
I nodded.
“Well… I guess you do, then…” he looked away again. I suddenly regretted telling him that.
We sat in silence for a little while taking sips of our drinks. Finally, Pax looked at me, “Do you want to know anything else?”
I noticed that he’d masked the look he’d had on his face when he’d looked away. I shook my head, deciding that was enough for now.
“Do you want me to take you home, then?” He asked, giving me a look I couldn’t decipher.
“I guess so… Thanks for talking to me,” I smiled at him and he smiled back at me.
“Don’t worry about it,” He stood up and waited for me to do the same before we walked back out to his car.
When we got back to my house, I started to take my seat belt off but his hand on my shoulder stopped me, “Would you mind if we hung out more often?”
I looked up at him. His smile curved upward slightly at the corners of his mouth and I couldn’t help but notice how good looking he was and in turn, I smiled back, “I’d like that.”
His smile widened and with the hand he’d had on my shoulder, he pushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “Okay, I’ll see you again soon, then.”
The other thing that bothered me was my ticket. I picked it up off of the headboard where I had kept it every night. There was nothing all that special about it. It was just a piece of paper with some printing on it. There must have been something different about it, but I didn’t know what to look for so to me it looked pretty normal. Funny how a piece of paper was my only chance to survive if nuclear war ever did break out. Only five hundred people in the entire world had tickets and I was one of them. Only the richest of the rich could afford tickets. I suddenly realized that the world was on the brink of destruction and only a handful of people would survive. It wasn’t like they were the most worthy of living, either. I had a ticket because my parents could afford to buy me one. I hadn’t done anything to deserve it. And what about all of the people I’d grown up with? Where were they going to be left? What about my cousins? And the people who work in the grocery store? What of the people in poor countries who never had a chance to make any money? Even though a lot of countries didn’t have nuclear capability themselves, they were inhabited by the troops of countries that did. Not to mention, there were military bases throughout the world that would get bombed, too.
What would happen to Pax?
At last, the day began summoning me and I had to heed its call. I got up and headed to the patio where my parents were enjoying a morning coffee and looking through some files. They were always working. I usually didn’t bother trying to talk to them when they were around since I didn’t like interrupting them, but I had a question that was itching to be asked so I cleared my throat. They didn’t even blink. I tried again, “Mom? Dad? Can I ask you something?”
“Not now, honey,” my mother answered, not even bothering to glance up when she spoke to me.
I frowned and tried again, “But Mom, it’s important.”
“So is our work,” my father replied.
Even though they were trying to keep me from asking further questions, I wasn’t ready to give up just yet, “It will only take a second,”
“Then it must not be that important,” my mother said instantly. Finally, she looked up at me but I could tell by the way she looked at me that she didn’t really see me, “Ask us when we’re not busy, okay?”
I clenched my fists, holding back my frustration, took a deep breath and nodded. I didn’t bother saying anything else to them and left the mansion to go for a walk. I loved taking walks back then and the fresh air always helped to relieve my anger. It wasn’t long before I was walking along the beach.
The salt hung in the air and I could smell it as easily as I could feel the sand between my toes and hear the water lapping rhythmically on the beach. I looked at the sea. I watched the ever-changing pattern of sparkling water under the bright sun and I couldn’t help but think about how beautiful the world was. People always said how the world was going to hell but how could anyone think that when they were looking at something as beautiful as the ocean? Then again, perhaps they were right. This war was tearing everything apart and because of it, places like the beach could be destroyed. That thought made me want to cry, but I held myself together.
I couldn’t understand why there was a war at all. From what I understood, it was all because of fear and the mind frame that someone has a bigger gun than I do so I’d better make one even bigger than his. It sounded pretty stupid to me.
I walked along the shore for nearly ten minutes before I turned back to go home. As I walked along the sidewalk, carrying my flip-flops in my hand, I heard a sharp beep followed by two shorter ones. I looked up to see a jeep pull up beside me with Pax in the driver’s seat.
“Where are you off to?” He asked with a smile, pulling his sunglasses up to rest on his head.
“Nowhere, really…” I answered, deciding that I didn’t really want to go home if I could avoid it.
He gestured for me to come around to the passenger side, “Get in. I’m going to town and I wouldn’t mind some company if you’re not busy.”
I got in and did up my seat belt. I must have looked upset because I noticed him looking at me with a worried expression, “Is everything okay?”
I shrugged, “To be honest, I’m worried… The war and everything scares me. I mean, what’s going to happen to all of the people who don’t get on the ship?”
Pax kept his eyes ahead of him, “You worry a lot. It hasn’t happened so you should take it easy. Life’s too short to worry so much.”
I was surprised at his answer. Hadn’t he been the one to tell me that the war was really bad? “How can you be so calm? You don’t have a ticket.”
“I don’t have a choice,” he answered in a casual tone, “I have to if I want to make the most of my life. I don’t know if I’m going to die tomorrow or in a hundred years from now so why should I waste my time worrying?”
“I guess that’s true. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so depressing,” I thought about what he’d said and decided that I wanted to be the same.
“Don’t worry about it,” Pax smirked at his word choice, “Are you busy tonight?”
I shook my head, “Not that I know of.”
He looked over at me with a smile, “I have two concert tickets. Want to come? I’ve never heard of the band but I hear they’re pretty good.”
“Sure,” I hadn’t been to a concert lately and it sounded like a good way for me to get my mind off things.
It was still early when the concert was over and Pax drove us to the top of a mountain where we could look out over the city. The lights were beautiful and we spent quite a while trying to figure out where everything was in the city. Pax knew his way around town pretty well so he was the one who usually found whatever we were looking for.
After a while, he took me home. When I was getting out of his jeep, he said, “Sweet dreams.” I waved good-bye and went to bed.
I was angry with them for being so elitist and explained to them that he was really a good guy and because of that, I didn’t care how much money he had.
However, they didn’t want me to become close with someone who didn’t have a ticket, but I informed them that I didn’t care. I remembered what Pax had said and told them that it didn’t matter. I was going to have to live my life normally rather than focus it around whether or not I would have to use that damned ticket. If it ever came down to that, though, I’d deal with it however I had to.
I know they weren’t pleased with me for my attitude towards the situation but I didn’t want to argue with them anymore and left.
I ended up at the beach and walked along the sand in my bare feet as I always did. I hadn’t expected to meet anyone but to my surprise, Pax was walking along the beach in the opposite direction. I was happy to see him, again.
“Hey there! Imagine seeing you here!” He called out to me.
I grinned, “Back at you! I haven’t seen you in a while. What have you been up to?”
He turned to walk alongside me so smoothly that I didn’t even have to break stride, “Work, mostly. Sorry, I wanted to call you but I was kept really busy.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I replied.
“What about you?” he gave me a strange look. I felt like he knew that something had just happened to upset me and I didn’t see any point in denying it.
“I had an argument with my parents.”
“About?” Pax’s eyes were full of concern and I could tell that he really was interested and not just asking because he felt like he had to.
“You,” I answered and watched for his reaction.
He just raised his eyebrow at me, “You weren’t exaggerating then, eh?”
I shook my head.
“I’m sorry,” he said with sincerity in his tone.
I smiled at him, “Don’t worry about it. I told them that you’re a good guy but they didn’t want to believe me. I think they’ll come around eventually, though.”
“I hope so,” Pax agreed.
Thinking about the argument with my parents brought a question to my mind, “Pax…” He looked at me and waited for me to continue, “What should I do if nukes are ever launched?”
“Get on the Titan,” he answered right away. The way he said it made it sound like it was the simplest decision I could possibly make.
“What about you?” I asked, unable to accept his answer.
He shrugged carelessly, “I’ll do whatever I have to do.”
I was forced to accept that because by that time, we’d walked back up the beach, up the path and had arrived at his car. “Want to go for ice cream?” he was grinning, “My treat!”
I couldn’t help but grin back, “Sounds good!” I climbed into his car and put on my seat belt. Pax did the same then started the engine and drove out of the parking lot.
I recalled that he’d once mentioned something about having served in the Middle East and I’d never really asked him about it, “What was it like when you were overseas?”
He had a troubled look on his face when he answered me, “Could we not talk about that? I don’t want to ruin today by telling you about it.”
I decided to drop that subject and looked ahead of us out the windshield.
He wasn’t quite done with it, though, “Do you keep your ticket on you all the time?”
I looked over at him and saw that he had a very serious expression, “Yes, I do.”
“That’s good,” he looked sad for a moment then he caught me looking at him and sent me a smile but I could see in his eyes that he wasn’t happy with my answer.
I showed up to my first class after a long weekend and I walked past a group of girls who seemed to be gossiping in their little circle. I pretended not to notice and took my seat, taking out my books and preparing for the lesson.
One of the girls looked over at me, “So was that your new boyfriend, Lita?”
I shook my head, “He’s just a friend.”
She had a nasty tone to her voice when she turned to her friend, “Told you! She’s too good to go out with someone who can’t buy her everything she could ever want!”
It was clear that they weren’t going to make that day easy for me so I picked up my books and my bag and walked out of class. I didn’t want to put up with rumours or their assumptions about me. I left the school and headed down the road to the Starbucks that Pax had taken me to. Pax had graduated a couple of years earlier so I knew he wouldn’t be in school. I called him on his cell phone and he agreed to meet me at the café.
We ordered our drinks and took a seat at one of the tables.
“What’s wrong?” I could never understand how Pax could read me so easily and I looked up to see the genuine concern that appeared in his face whenever he knew something was up.
I opened my mouth to answer when something started beeping urgently. We both looked at our cell phones but they weren’t beeping. We looked around and I could hear it coming from my hip where my beeper was kept. My heart nearly stopped when I realized it was the alarm my parents had given me when I was little. Without saying anything, I jumped up and grabbed Pax’s wrist and dragged him out to his car at a sprint.
“What the hell is going on, Lita?” He tried to get me to slow down and answer his question but I shoved him toward the driver’s seat before racing around to get in the passenger seat. He got in and looked at me, “Where are we going?”
“Nukes have been launched. We’re going to the Titan,” I answered.
He was clearly shocked but he drove to the space base as fast as his jeep would take us.
I was frightened and could barely hear the cars honking at us over my own heartbeat. Soon enough, the other people on the road would know what was going on, too. I turned to Pax, “How are you going to get aboard?”
Pax had an expression on his face that showed that he was thinking very hard and realizing that he didn’t know worried me a lot.
As we neared the base, I was glad that we’d gotten the message so early and we’d managed to get away from most of the traffic. Cars were driving wildly which showed us that people had learned of their fates. I was on the verge of panic but Pax was surprisingly calm. He pulled into the lot and we got out.
“Go find your family. I’ll talk to the people in charge here.” He gave me a reassuring smile and a push toward the crowd of people that was accumulating.
I hadn’t gotten far before my cell phone rang and my parents told me where they were. I met up with them and when I realized that everyone was fine, I went to look for Pax.
I spotted him before he saw me and he had a gloomy look in his eyes. When he saw me, however, it changed into one that showed he was just happy to see me. We walked toward each other and I was the first to speak, “What’s the verdict?”
He smiled, “They’re going to let me on.”
I was so relieved when I heard that! I’d been thinking earlier that I might not board the ship if he couldn’t board, too. “Thank goodness!” I hugged him and he put his arms around me and held me close to him for a moment. The embrace lingered until Pax finally held me at arms length.
“You go be with your family and board with them. I have to get the person I talked to to talk to the boarding people. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” He gave me a look I couldn’t interpret then pushed me off again.
I walked back to my parents but the whole time I walked I could feel his eyes on my back. When I looked back, however, he wasn’t there anymore.
I boarded with my parents and we found our seats. When I was settled, I watched the boarding area to see when Pax boarded so I could know where he was seated. I don’t know how long I watched the doors but at last, they closed and the engine began to rumble.
Had I somehow missed him boarding? After what seemed like an eternity of me looking around the seats for him, I was pushed back in my seat with the force of the Titan’s take off.
“Hey, you!” I called out to get his attention. When he looked up I continued, “Is there any chance I could get aboard?”
There was no feeling in the man’s eyes, “Do you have a ticket?”
I shook my head, praying to every god I could think of that he would say I could live.
“No. Don’t waste my time, kid.”
I couldn’t understand how he could be so heartless, “Please, sir! I need to get on board!”
The look he gave me was like the one someone would give to the grime on the bottom of his shoe, “You and the rest of the world. Now get out of here.”
I tried a few more times but there was no point. He wasn’t going to let me on. I was going to die and there was no way I could stop that. Finally, he walked away and I was left by my miserable self. I noticed Lita looking at me. She must have found her parents and come to find me. I hid my distress, knowing that if she found out that I couldn’t get on board, she might not go. I couldn’t be responsible for her death so I decided to lie to her.
“What’s the verdict?” She asked.
I faked a smile, “They’re going to let me on.”
She was so happy when I said that, “Thank goodness!” she threw her arms around me and a lump formed in my throat. I felt awful for having to lie to her but I saw no other choice. As much as I hated the thought of her being angry and upset that I’d lied to her, I couldn’t stand the idea of her dying because of me. I couldn’t let that happen.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me tightly. I knew this would be the last time I would ever see her so I savored the embrace for as long as it took for me to pull myself together. I couldn’t look upset to her or she’d know something was wrong. Finally, I felt like my voice was under control and held her away from me, “You go be with your family and board with them. I have to get the person I talked to to talk to the boarding people. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” I hoped that she would believe me and do as I asked her to.
She lingered for a moment, looking at me. I looked back, studying her features one last time. Her dark brown hair was down and hung in loose waves over her shoulders. I had to look down at her because I was a little over half of a foot taller than her. Her eyes, blue like the ocean and no less full of life, were full of her happiness at my lie. I couldn’t look her in the eye anymore because I knew she would be disappointed when she realized what I’d done. I couldn’t bear to think about it so I gave her a little push to get her to go.
She turned and walked back towards her parents and I watched her until she was well into the crowd before I turned and headed back to my car. I drove out to a nearby hilltop and got out to sit on the hood of my car. I could feel a tear burning a path down my cheek.
Not long after everyone had boarded the ship, the engines fired up and only a little while after that, I watched the ship take off. I watched it disappear into the sky until it was so far away I couldn’t see it.
At that point, another sight took its place. Thousands of black dots in the sky began to take form as they came closer and closer to the ground.
