My Humble Opinion
Harry Potter

Where has all the hype gone?

Into Rowling's HP: series, a mouthful of mediocre with every bite. I don't know what it is about English authors, but from all of the books I've read, they love to go into painful detail about everything, and the Harry Potter series is no exception.

Which brings me to point one...

No one cares how the light-orange hue of light was reflecting from a particular potion that has no mention save for three pages, in which they had no particular use to the story... The intricate details, while capable of painting vivid images of scenes after scenes of magic, they really aren't necessary.. The greater writers of the world, in my humble opinion, can word things in such a way that you can get a decent image based on previous experience with such an object, without taking three pages to describe a three-second scene...

Secondly, no matter how magical your building, it's still a freaking building.

It's all made of wood or stone, and arranged in such a way that if some major structure, corridor, room, or support were to disappear, the building will collapse... The same would happen if suddenly where there was all stone walling supporting a particularly heavy tower, a room were to appear, guess how long it'll take that tower to collapse on it's own weight?

That being said, the Sorceror's Stone was vitally important, and the source of many rumors throughout the school, and that's fine...

But why didn't anyone care about the Chamber of Secrets until Year II?

Surely it didn't just appear into a series of stones supporting the pool on the second floor (inside joke)... It was there the whole time, but was non-important until it was a part of Harry's mystical adventures... You'd think there would be some mention of it, even in passing... But no, poor writing leads us to believe that things only happen when they're supposed to, which means when the young and reckless Mr. Potter gets upwind of them...
And seriously, even in your teenage years, how many promises to yourself did you break recklessly without forethought?

All of them? I should doubt it, which means Rowlings can't write a believable character. All, not just one, but ALL of the main characters underwent hundreds of major changes in their lives, and just shrugged it off without a passing thought. Surely men can adapt, but there is a point of restriction. Willing suspencion of disbelief will only go so far...

That being said, I wasn't fond of the story of a child and his two little buddies besting the mightiest beasts and wizards the several hundred year old castle have kept hidden. Surely the Cerberus, the guardian of Hell itself, wouldn't be bested by middle school aged children. If not the Cerberus, then how about the master wizard tactician losing in a game of chess to a child? How about a small army of the mightier wizards running in fear from the mighty troll, which was swiftly dispatched by three children? Obviously, with an insane amount of convenience and luck, Potter and Co. could defeat one of these in a lucky strike, but not all three… In Year I...

As the years progressed, so did the challenges...

And by Year V, Harry goes toe-to-toe, solo, with the strongest wizard alive, capable of escaping an entire justice system, three schools of wizards, and hordes of angry mobs, and wounds such a wizard, escaping with his life...

No, that's too far. No teenager could do such a thing...

And yet, here we are, kissing Rowling's feet as if she had written the Bible itself.

I don't see why the hype exsists. This series is as mediocre as it is long-winded. Surely people have more taste than this? No, I refuse...

Harry Potter, you get a barely tolerable 2/5.
I want those months of my life back.