I hate Rini!!!!!!! She's going to die for making me write this one... if she doesn't kill me for writing goodbye... basically the same story with a different non-mushy ending. Angst is making me sick currently.

Jamie walked around the corner growling things in her mind about to large boys disappearing. She could never manage to do that, dark blue eyes with intricate designs and different shades of blue with the tiniest spots of brown flashed across her mind, she shook her head quickly. She could never figure out what about that boy she liked. He was rude, crude, arrogant, haughty, annoying, and forever a tease. She absolutely hated him and never wanted to be out of the same area as him. It was not fair, and his older sister was a tease as well, and she had to leave tonight!

She ignored the thunder that boomed outside, not seeing the lightning that flashed seeing as there was no windows in the hall. She rounded the last corner, and saw long brown hair move steadily forward falling on her back, a dark black head was behind it. Jamie's pure dark jade eyes widened, her red bangs floating slightly as her head jerked back in amazement.

"I-Ian?" Jamie's voice barely made it past her lips, only at the last second did she manage to regain her normal tenor tone, though it was more soprano-like when she had spoke.

"Jamie?" Ian said startled, he leaned around the brown-head's shoulder, the girl turned.

"Miaka..." Jamie said lamely.

"Hey, what's up?" Miaka replied.

Jamie did not answer, she could not. "Jamie?" Ian asked when she did not answer.

At the last minute Jamie managed to put on a silly grin, "Did I interupt something? Haha, I'll be going, remember there are other people in the house." Jamie stepped back around the corner, her steps quick, her throat burned. Her footsteps became even faster, soon she was running through the house.

She ignored the calls of her name, the two younger siblings hands brushed right off the short fluffy blue skirt she was wearing that whipped aroun her legs covered by long green biker shorts.

"James," called out a feminine voice. "Jamie?"

"I'm going for a quick walk," Jamie said her voice threatening to betray her. She looked up smiling. "I won't be long, I'm just a little hot. Just need some fresh air, Gi, just some fresh air."

Gi-gi looked skeptikal, "It's about to storm, you can't go out there it's already drizzling."

Jamie opened the door, brushing past Gi-gi, "Barely drizzling, I'll be back don't worry."

Gi-gi could only try to grab onto the bare tan porcelain arm as it passed her. Jamie moved slightly to the side, forgetting all about her jean jacket that would cover her bare arms and probably protect her more than the brown tank-top, that was high in the front but some what low in the back.

"Jamie!" Gi-gi called out, to no avail. Jamie reached the corner of the gate, her combat boots clunking. She waved cheerfully before disppearing, the haze of rain placing a net of dew on her hair. She heard Gi-gi close the door behind her. A sigh escaped her lips, she was safe.

She kept walking, never stopping, always moving faster and faster. She ignored the rain as it became heavier, she stopped ofr half a minute to pull out the clip that kept her now wet hair uncomfortably sticking to her neck. Running her fingers through it, she started running. Her hair flew behind her like a red cape, cascading down to just below her shoulder blades.

She stopped next to a stop sign on a desolate street. Leaning against she turned her face to the pouring rain, letting it wash away the awful feeling around her, it did not work. Why did it hurt so much? Why? Why could she not forget? She used to be able too. In the past, but it became more difficult everytime.

Now she was running and close to crying and she could not figure out why. Hey eyes ached, and she remember her contacts, the rain had probably ruined them at this point. Luckily she was suppose to change them out this weekend anyway, right after she got home from visiting the Mijiya's. She blinked out her contacts, quite easily thanks to the excess water, from rain...

She saw a steady light in the distance, it was the small town really, a eight block town within the limits of a larger town. She enjoyed it there all the same. There were alleyways that were perfect for hiding. A cute little dollar shop and a catholic church.

"Jamie!" Jamie's head whipped around. She saw something running in the distance.

"No..." she whispered to the wind, knowing that it would not reach any ears. She stumbled backwards, turning and running toward the town. She tripped her hands flashed out to catch herself, coming into the sight of her dark jade eyes.

Bobbed red hair flew out as small porcelain hands moved into the line of green eyes, to catch herself from falling.

The twelve-year-old never hit the ground. Instead jade eyes followed an arm to find a laughing teasing face. "Klutz," he laughed. "You barely have any brain cells as it is, hitting your head will only make you loose more."

"Ian, you jerk!" she screamed.

He laughed and ran away as soon as she righted herself. Hours later at dusk the two small ones could be found swinging on swings. Green eyes laughed gleefully as she swung higher and higher. Ian merely swung back and forth lazily, staying close to the ground.

"Jamie, what are you gonna do when you grow up?"

"Me? I'm gonna become a teacher after I get my beautician's license," Jamie said letting the swing swing naturally swinging closer and closer to the ground each time. "Then after a few years of teaching I'm gonna get married an' have lotsa kids!"

"That sounds interesting. You're only twelve though, how do you know what you wanna do?"

"Well you asked. Plus I have had that plan since I was seven, thank-you very much, besides you're only four months older than me. What do you think you're gonna do? Are you gonna get married?"

"Marriage is only a dream for girls," Ian scoffed. "If it happens it happens, but I don't know what I'll do. Something to do with building I guess. I build a lot with legos ya'know."

"Marriage isn't only a dream for girls!" Jamie protested as she pushed her feet off the ground, making the swing move back and forth in a steady rythm.

"Maybe not, but if I ever get married the girl'll hafta be patient, be able to put up with me, accept any choice I make and only give her opinion when asked. She'll have to be able to cook good and have some knowledge of sewing."

"For only being twelve you sure seem to know alot about the girl you want, and that's insane to ask for of a girl." Jamie commeneted as snydely as he had.

"You asked," muttered Ian defensively. "Plus most every girl I know can sew a little and can cook without destroying the food and are cheerful. You're the only girl that seems to destroy food and cannot keep thread untangled."

"Hey I managed that teddy bear!"

Jamie hit the ground, bumping her head. She had almost expected Ian to catch her, he always did when she was around. She pushed herself to her feet again. She could not see anything past her elbow, wrist if it was rather large. She was mostly blind.

That's what she did, she forged ahead blindly towards the light. If she could get there, she would be safe. The memory brought her tears back, she had tried so hard to learn how to cook. She managed nachos, hotdogs, and once in a great while decent fries and quasidillas. She was so proud of her accomplashiments since usually a simple pizza was beyond her.

Ian had shot her down, saying those foods would only make you fat and were unhealthy for you, even though he ate it. It bothered her so much and more and more she found herself trying to earn Ian's respect more and more. Gi-gi was the only one who noticed.

All thoughts of leaving and making sure she was ready to go had left her mind completely. She no longed wanted to say good-bye, she never had wanted to in the first place. Disappearing always seemed easier at least to her twisted side.

She stopped panting leaning against the bright light ignoring the burning in her side. Her tears were safely stored away behind a reinforced dam, they had already threatened to break through the other one. Her feet moved almost mechanically. She finally noticed similar settings and found herself in her favorite alleyway. No one would ever find her there.

No one would ever find her running from her problems. She leaned against the wall trying to breath as quietly as possible. She noticed a flower pot on the ground, she wondered how it had come to be here, it was laying on it's side. Picking it up, she placed her hand around the stem and dumped the pot upside down. Much water and some more dirt came pouring out. After a few seconds she set it upright. Placing it on the ground, she scooped up the fallen dirt and packed it back in the flower pot. She found a place half-dry and placed it there so it would still recieve water but not drown. Sunlight and shade would also be there as well. She hoped it would come back from its wilting state.

Wilting...

Jamie shook her head to clear her mind of the word. She would just stay here till moring. Everything was blurry, just a blur of black and dark colors in the rainy night. She shivered, rubbing her amrs she returned to leaning against the wall. The jean-jacket would not have been much help wet anyway...

Jamie's eyes soon closed, letting the rain wash over her eyelids, ignoring everything but the sound of the rain, lighyning anf thunder. A tear ran down her face, just one.

"Jamie," said a bass tone quietly. Her eyes flew open. Green met deep blue.

"Ian..."

"What did you do, you got Gi all upset at me."

Jamie almost flinched. "I didn't do a thing," she heard herself retort.

"Why did you leave?"

"I- I was told I was to come here to be picked up. I was coming to say good-bye but you and Miaka seemed busy. Now I have the chance to say it, Good-bye."

Ian blinked and stared down at the unfocused green eyes before him. They seemed to be searching for something. "Me and Miaka?" He walked forward angrily. Jamie flinched at the look in his face. "Liar, you left all your stuff plus your older brother at our house. Him leaving is the main reason I can't wait for you to leave."

Jamie barely hid her flinch as the barbed words entered her skin, "Well get rid of him yourself!"

"Why you-!"

"What!" Jamie screamed, wet, cold, shaking, and not able to make sense of a single thought flying wround her brain, she felt as if something was tearing her to shreds from the inside out. "What? What am I!"

"Keep your damn voice down, you're gonna wake up the whole friggin' neighborhood." Ian hissed dangerously.

Jamie was ready to kill him at this point, she was sure her torture was obvious to everyone. What she did not know, how utterly impossible was it for people to see her true feelings, even Gi-gi had trouble sometimes as did everyone she knew. Ian was clueless.

"Why?" barked Jamie.

His hand covered her mouth abruptly, "Because you're gonna wake everyone up!" he hissed. "You idiot, you are so retarded!"

Jamie felt herself slump back agaonst the wall, Ian withdrew his hand hesitatingly. He seemed closer than he had been a minute ago, Jamie was dying just to let her head slump forward to just rest against his shoulder or his chest, whichever it touched first. Warmth soaked her numb skin.

He shot backwards almost immediatly. Jamie felt hateful words fill her mouth, a defense mechanicism. She was in no position to stop them, she felt her mouth open, something inside her cringed as they new what would fly out of her mouth.

Worried blue eyes looked down at the sleeping sweating 14-yr-old girl in front of him, she was anything but peaceful. He looked around the room making sure no one was there. Her red hair was splayed across the pillow behid her head, if she had been sitting up, it would be a couple inches below her shoulders, choppily cut and a mess.

He pushed away the black hair that had fallen forward into his eyes. She as always telling him he needed to take about an inch off and stop greasing it, but he never listened, enjoying the way certain individuals reacted to his overly long hair. Mayve some day he might cut it...

She started, tossing in her sleep. A moan broke past her lips, he felt guilt flood him. He knew how poor her balance was, he should not have pushed, she would never have fallen on that river that he thought was frozen solid. She was slipping away from the top before Ian finally found her. He almost fell in trying to fish her out.

"Jamie!" he had yelled. The only answer was the slight shaking of her head. He did not know what to do, hurridly he pulled off her boots and snow pants, leaving her with cold damp brown fleece pants, he peeled off her hat and jacket and sweat-shirt, he looked down to see the green shirt under the blue sweater. He decided to pull off the blue sweater acting like a shirt.

Taking off his jacket he wrapped it around her bare arms and over the green tank top, before placing his hat on her head. Somehow he managed to get her onto his back and he took off running leaving her winter things lying on the ground.

"Ian, where's Jam- Jamie!" a girl with long black haired screamed starting to run forward.

Ian never stoppeed moving, "Get mom, Gi! James fell into the river." He sped towards the car, soon the were driving towards the hospital.

Now she was hooked up to different machines, he had spent most of the day down in the cafetaria. Luckily for him, her older brother had not come on that trip, but now he almost wished he had. Nothing bad ever seemed to happen to her when she was around, yet those two never got along. Their mother's, his father and his two younger sibling and his two older siblings were currently sleeping on a hospital bed or sleeping.

He had snuck back up to see Jamie. He moved her long bangs off of her eyes, they fell to the side. She fell quiet at his touch, "I'm sorry," her heard hsi voice crack as he whispered the hated word. He hated apologizing, but his gut would not leave him aone till he did. Now that he had, they edge wore off, but he still felt guilty. He never felt guilty. His hand was lying on the pillow near her hair.

Her head turned towards, seeking warmth guessed the logical part of Ian's brain but something nagged him that it was something else. He snatched away his hand, scared of what was inside of him. Fevered green slits appeared, "Ian?"

"Hey," he said softly. H could not remembered what the doctor said if she woke.

She coughed. "What happened?"

"Klutzy you didn't keep you balance when I nudged you. The ice broke-" she erupted into a fit of coughs. "Jamie?" she was turning an odd color, Ian panicked, "Jamie!" She stuggled but could not catch her breath, "Oh God, help us... Help!" he pressed the nurses button. "Jamie, calm down. Try to breath."

The door burst open, Jamie was bluish, he was shoved aside. Medical terms were thrown about. He could only stand and watch as she almost died. By the time they had managed to clear her throat of the flem, her heart had stopped from the lack of air. More medical term were thrown about. Ian saw a strange looking thing rolled up, he fished for the name but could not remember.

"Clear!" someone shouted. Jamie's body was thrown into the air from the shock. Someone checked her pulse, clearly there was none, "Clear!" they shouted again. Nothing happened. "One more time," said the doctor. Jamie's body was in the air once more, Ian moved forward. They checked her pulse, nothing happened.

The nurse drew her hand away looking sad and checked her watch. A cough erupted from the bed. Green eyes fixed upon blue eyes. "Ian-" Jamie coughed once more. Ian was ushered out of the room.

Out in the hall he paused, he never wanted to see her like that again.

"Retarded! Retarded? You couldn't even think of a better word! That's retarded! Besides it takes one to know one, and I'm not an idiot! Who was the one that broke an arm and a leg all over a lousy idiotic stupid- you can't even call it a dare! And don't you dare call me a jerk or a wench, I ain't the one letting some hussy thow themselves at me and I'm not the one to scare-" Jamie's hands flew up to cover her mouth. Miaka was suppose to be her friend!

She bit her lip drawing blood, before Ian could say anything she sighed. "Look I'm sorry okay, I'm just tired. I wanted to say good-bye and I didn't think I get a chance. I doubt I'll see you afore I leave. So good-bye."

She moved past him in a blur. She felt his hand brush against her arm, "James-" she heard him say. She could feel something break. She wanted to cry, she felt as if therewas nothing left to live for... but she would never let him know.

She flashed him a bright smile before she disappeared out of sight, tears ran down her cheeks as she broke into a run, "Fool," her tenor voice broke upon her own ears.

Ian watched her run off, he wondered what the heck she was talking about. He grew angry at her words, the insults. What bugged him even more, is she never actually said things that hurt, anooying meaningless threats, but nothing like that. He had only seen her loose her temper so utterly once.

Cursing he ran after her. He found her running away. He easily caught up to her, grabbing her arm he caught a glance of wild startled eyes, before he yanked her into a side alleyway slamming her against the water, he paid no attention to the wince that escaped her lips. Hia hands slammed against the brick wall on either side of her head.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he snapped, his voice a dangerous rumble in his chest.

"Don't corner me!" she yelled, her voice a mix of emotions. Ian paid no attention. He barely noticed the tears on her cheeks they were mixed in with the rain.

He leaned closer his nose directly above her head. She looked up trying to slouch against the wall and disapear. "Who do you think you are? What the hell have you done to me!"

"What do you mean?" Jamie shot back, blinking in amasement.

"Ever since we were eleven...Gosh dammit!"

Jamie was slightly scared as Ian seemed so angry, she placed his hands on his chest and pushed him away. She succeeded for a second. Something tightened around her wrists she felt herself slammed against the wall again, her wrists held above her head, she was going to have bruises or scatches from this. Probably both.

"Ian you're hurting me," she whispered. He loosened her grip, but her hands were still trapped against the wall, though they only stung as an after affect. She looked down biting her lip. After sixteen years of living she had complete control over her emotions. That's what she believed either way.

The rain continued to poar, Ian spoke again, "Ah damn it all!"

Jamie started in surprise as something warm rested against the top of her head. She looked up and found Ian's face closer than she had ever seen it. She forgot everything and was lost in his eyes, the black hair was soaked mixing in with her own red hair.

Her wrists were lowered, now even with her head. Jamie was lost completely in his eyes, she felt something soft press against her lips. So softly, it almost hurt her, the longing building up in her throat. Her wrists were released, as softly as his kiss. At some point they had moved about a half a foot from the wall.

It deepened, going deeper and deeper, Jamie felt Ian's arms wrap around her, pressing her closer. She did not move, she was literally frozen. She was pressed against the wall she found herself kissing back.

Ian pulled away finally, Jamie was only kept up by his arms wrapped around her. "Don't leave, don't ever leave, stay with me, please," he whispered into her hair.

She tugged her arms free from his embrace and placed them around his neck, "I won't."

He grinned, goofily and happily, ignoring everything, even the rain that had slowed to a drizzle. He kissed her again, she pulled away this time gasping for air, Ian pulled her close once more, "I can't stop..."

"Then don't," Jamie replied. He kissed her softly.

When she pulled away coughing, a frown crossed Ian's face. "Jamie?'

"It's nothing," she said softly. He remebered the time she almost died from coughing. She had only recovered from that bit three months ago, the doctors had said that he lungs would never return to full strngth.

He cursed his stupidity at keeping her out even longer and stepped away running his hand through his hair angrily. She stopped him, "Let's go home. I'll be fine."

gag oh my stomach, ecuse me again. gag O i am so sick, that movie had better be everything rini had said it be or she is gonna die... excuse me while i go throw up again... lousy fluff and romance and if there r any perverts out there, the only thing that happened is kissing that's it. now leave a review and make rini leave me alone...