Crying in the dark

Disclaimer: If you are not 18 or the legal age in the state or Country you live in to read them then please leave now. This is a story about a gay boy or boys, if this is not what you want to read then please leave now and this is a fiction.

From Jarvis de Var

In the height grade there are lot of brain dead and bully. If your not in the flock you’re an easy target, a free shot. Then I keep it quiet, I do my work to have B and B. The only course that I have A is in history, I love the Greek and Roman period. The art and the freedom of acting on your believe and the freedom of loving man and woman. In my case man. Yes the reason why I want to tray plain and unnoticed as possible. To make it worse my name is Philip Zeus Dupont, I always write it Philip Z. Dupont. Some teacher are real ass hole and call my complete name. I tend to be invisible I am mister average 5’8”, 140 lbs, eyes and hair dull brown, pale skin, it pale or burn red it look that I can’t get a tan. The only thing that is not average in me fuck my life, I am gay… It the weight that I have to carry day on and off. I have to take care about the way I look at the guy in the yard or in the looker room. I have to control my daydreaming to avoid the wood that could betray me. I can’t have close friend I can’t take the risk to have one, I could easily fall for him. My dad is a hulking man, 6’3” about 300 lbs, macho, he talk shit about those dam faggots. He said that he his happy about the gay plague and bless the SIDA. What an ass hole ? Hey dead brain there was gays long before Christ. This plague is about something else, for example the use of the vaccine for the hepatitis for the gays and drug addict done in the end of the sixtieth. It concern me then I search it. But that brain dead monkey that is supposed to be my dad did not know it. He make comment about my size and my lack of physical fitness blaming my mother side of the family. My mother she is a frighten little mouse under his command. She his a loving kind lady when we are alone, when he his home she disappear. Moving out of the light trying to make him happy just to buy peace. Dam four years before being able to wish him to eat shit and die, I just want to take my mother away from him an be happy. Some time I wish that I have the guts to tell him and be kill there, mom will be free but I don’t think she could deal whit that. Fucking Friday evening I have to go home and he will be drunk again, usually he is home about 20:00h, I have to be there because if I am not he will take it on my mother. She give me my lunch, I did not eat a lot.

-Phil Mom I am going to my room to do my work. If you need me just call I kiss her passing by.

I do my home work, feeling like I could throw up any minutes, my hands are moist. I hate myself to be so afraid, one day I will kill the bastard. I don’t want to do it but it will happen. To much stress to much pain, I feel very bad. I put back my books in my bag and put in order my room. Few minutes later I hear the front door, if I hear him talk whit a slurred voice I have to go in the kitchen to face the firing squad.

-Him Ha ! The worm, what do you want worthless piece of shit. Pull your fucking faggy ass out of my sight.

-Mom Karl your supper dear.

-Him Shut the fuck up. I don’t know whit what fag you have fuck bitch but I am not the father of that fag. Worm get the fuck out of my face.

I just stare at him, he was in his time a jock, brain dead but a jock. The alcohol have take the edge out of him, but he is big and strong enough to beat the shit out of me. His eyes are blood shot wanting to beat the crap our of someone. When my mother pass near him he slap her in the face whit a backhand. It was a reflex I step in front of him feeling a dead weight in my stomach. The first slap across my face got my ear, I feel an intense heat an a loud ringing. I feel tears on my face. Suddenly it when dark all over and I am victim of a knot of pure pain in the right side of my chest. Still seeing noting I sink on my knee, unable to stay on my legs. The ringing stay pretty loud and my berating is getting laborious my right side send wave of pain throw through my body. It so fucking painful I wish I could pass out. He have crush my balls and my left knee with his foot I think. Mercifully a dark wave drown my consciousness.

I am in pain, mother must have put a moist towel on my face. Breathing is difficult I hear noise in the background. I try to stay still, it not easy, the bastard broke something in my chest. For a moment I whish I could die there now, I could have peace and rest. It my mother hand on my head.

-Mother Phil how are you ? Her voice his sweet but a lot of tension in it.

-Phil Ok mom. I chough, I almost lost it seeing large black spots in front of my eyes. The pain is near unbearable, I try to control my breathing.

-Mother Ho! My god.

I ear the sound of some plate hitting the ground and a running. I thing that I have sleep a little bit. I feeling quite good, it someone sobbing in the room. I try to open my eyes, it not easy both my eyes are swell up. I see my mom kneeling on the ground near me. I reach her face whit my hand. She grab it and pull it to her. That wake the that was hiding in me. I cough and taste some blood in my mouth.

-Mother Phil the ambulance his on his way. You will be fine stay with me darling. She his crying again.

I smile at her, at this point I could not talk. With my hand I sing her that I am ok to wave her worry away. I am weak it noting because if I do not move to much there is no pain and marvelously no stress at all it so fucking good. She let may hand go that wake the pain. I hear her running in the corridor, there is some male voices. Not him again I try to move to get away from that beast. I manage to sit on my bed, when I raise my chest I feel a like throwing up tasting blood in my mouth again when I put my feet on the ground I lost it again. The bastard is hurting me again he move my limp body sending wave of killing pain through me. Something is stinging my arm.

-Nurse Phil buddy do you ear me, squeeze my hand if you still in there.

I squeeze his hand.

-Nurse Phil stay with me I have to hurt you, I will put a tube in your chest. Try to stay with me bud.

I ear lot of movement near me, I must be in the ambulance I feel the bed moving. There is a hand on my chest a wet towel is rub on my side. The wet feeling is replace by a sharp but short live pain.

-Nurse Stay still I will insert the tube, just hang on Phil. We will be in emergency ward in a few.

The man touch my side, it painful but not to much. I hope that he try to help not to hurt me. It feel like he push a large tube on a cut in my side, it almost to much but I hang on. I want to know what happen to my mom.

-Nurse It ok I will not hurt any more. Your should be breathing easier now.

After some time the pressure in my chest have decreased. I try to speak.

-Phil How ss mom ?

-Nurse She ok Phil she is following the ambulance.

-Phil Don’t let him near her, he did it he beat her. Check her face. Please don’t let him near her.

-Nurse Ok guy I will check on her but stay still, stay with me.

When he say that to me I feel ok, no need to stress out, I let myself out of the pain, it when all black again. I ear a faint bip sound, I am lying on a bed. I am very weak, no pain, at last. They have drug me, I feel very light. I ear step in the room, a soft light fell on my face and a soft hand land on my forehead.

-Female nurse Phil your awake ?

-Phil Yes, how my mom ?

-Female nurse I am Dorothy I am your nurse for this evening. Your mother will come back later. There is a police officer that need to talk to you, are you ok with it ?

-Phil Yes send him to me, I want to talk to him.

I feel pain in my right side and my breathing produce a weird noise.

-Police M. Dupont, I am officer Brannon can you tell me what happen to you today ?

-Phil M. Brannon call me Phil please I be more at ease, can you tell me how is my mother?

-Brannon Your mother do not file complaint for her she file it for you.

-Phil He always hit her when his coming drunk at home.

-Brannon How is the one how hit her, you have to name him.

-Phil with tremor in my voice. The fucker how is supposedly my father Terence Dupont. He hit and beat my mom for as long as I could remember.

-Brannon And you ?

-Phil For the last two years week on week off he beat me, saying that I am not his son. I am to small, I worth noting in sport that I must come from some fag that I am a faggy excuse for a son.

-Brannon What happen today ?

-Phil He scream at me as usual when he is drunk then he slap my mom with a back hand. I step in facing him he hit me across the face I was in daze, I feel a shot in my right side then I think that he kick me in the nuts and kick my knee. When I wake up both my eyes where swell badly.

-Brannon You are positive this is Terence Dupont how did it to you ?

-Phil That brain dead bustard beat the crap out of me and my mother, she his a kind lady but she timid, she not strong. She try for me but she could not. I feel some tears on my face and could not wipe them my arms are tie on the side of the bed.

-Brannon untie my right arm. Would sing that form that state that it is the recording of your voice and date it please Phil. He un tie my arm and push a pad on my lap.

-Phil I am in lot of pain as I sing the pad as I finish I spit some drops of blood on the sheet. Officer nail him, got him good please get him. I see the man wipe tears from his eyes. He tie up my arm on the side of the bed.

-Brannon We will do what it need to be done. Be certain that he will ear from us, he will ear from you kid. He pat my head leaving the room.

Letting my head falling on the pillow, I get that peaceful feeling again after some time. I feel very light and a little cold, my hand and feet are cold not uncomfortable but cold. At peace at last, it so fucking good. An other interruption what is that noise ? Someone is crying in the dark, I have to concentrate to open my eyes. It mom she is in a chair crying her hearth out. With lot of effort I touch her arm with my index finger.

-Phil Mom don’t cry it ok, I am ok. I only need to sleep I am so tired, it so peaceful when I let go. Can I go mom please I need some rest let me go.

-Mother looking at me with her eyes full of tears. Darling if you have to rest, take a rest. I hold your hand we will be quiet together. Sleep tight baby.

She listen her son breathing slower and slower filling the night with her crying.