i'm still here

i could lie (to myself) and say that you
never hurt me that much but when scars
line my wrists, it's the worst lie in (my)
history. i admit that this silence leaves
so much more than i imagined because
i'm still here bleeding (even after a year).

this is something that i can't forget. some
-thing that is dented into my memory. a
permanent reminder of how weak i am
(although the scars are bound to fade).

i never thought i would find the strength
(again) to tell you everything that i've felt
(i'm not the same since the last time i wrote).

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author's note: blantly tempted to write her more letters. i actually started one today but i really don't know what i'm going to do with it. i don't want to but then again, i want to. i just have some things that i need to get out that shouldn't be bottled inside of me anymore. btw, i don't like this piece.

disclaimer: the line 'i'm still here bleeding' comes hospitality, a song by funeral for a friend.