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A/N: I've been thinking about this story for about three years now, and have finally decided to write it. Hope you like it. There is so much truth in this story, in regards to my life, that a lot of it is true. It's up to you to decided what is and what isn't. Hope you like it.
I never wanted to be in Band. Well, no, I can’t say that. I wanted to be in Band, but that was back when I was 12 and my parents were still making decisions for me. I can still remember them, “You should do Band.” “Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.” Somehow, six years later, I’m still in Band. First chair actually, but the damn junior below me wants to challenge me for it. Like hell I’m giving up my chair; I’ve worked hard for it.
But enough about that. While I can say I hate Band, which is true, I can’t say that I hate the class. And that’s because I, Christine Elizabeth Johnson, Varsity Cheerleader, President of the Student Body, First Chair Flute, 3rd Baseman of the Varsity Softball team, and Junior Prom Queen, am in love with a Band Geek.
Yes, it’s true. Most popular girl in school has the biggest crush on Nick Rasmussen, First Chair Trombone. Now, it wouldn’t be so bad if Nick was hip and cool. But, no, Nick is definitely a nerd and I can’t stop thinking about him. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him for two years and now that it’s senior year, I am going to do something about it. That is, if I can manage the courage to actually do something.
……………………………………………………………
I never wanted to be popular. Well, no, let me rephrase that. I never thought I would be popular. I hated middle school and only had, about, 4 friends those three terrible years. But for some reason, when I hit high school, that all changed. All of a sudden I had friends. And not just friends; I had what people call ‘guts’ or ‘balls’. Well, whatever it’s called, I had it when I reached 9th grade. I went from middle school outcast to high school ‘it’ girl. I was invited to all the big parties, dated all the senior guys and made Varsity everything. Hell, I even went out for cheerleading. But I also did one thing everyone never thought I’d do, and that was stay in Band.
Why did I stay in Band? I guess it was because it was something I found joy in. It was a niche that I didn’t want to lose, and I was always drawn to the people in Band. They were always the nice, caring people who didn’t give a damn who you were or who your parents were and they always provided a shoulder to cry on when you needed comfort. They were there for you when you needed them, and in my crazy life, I always needed someone. Not to mention the moment I set eyes on Nick Rasmussen, my elective was decided for me for the next three years.
I can’t say my schooling experience was normal. It’s been anything but. I’ve been to 8 different schools and have always been the quiet, silent person in the corner. My twin sister has been my only true friend, and I thank God she was always there for me when I wanted to cry or punch someone. But having gone to 8 different schools, a girl learns to take care of herself. When our parents enrolled us in St. Ignatius High School, I figured we would be in and out in about six months. That tends to happen when your Dad is a big telecommunications CEO traveling all over the world, and your mom is a famous actress and chef with her own Food Network show. So imagine my surprise when our parents told us that we wouldn’t be moving again and that they were getting a divorce.
The divorce, we could live with that. Their relationship had always been strained and it was more than welcomed. But the moving part, we couldn’t understand that. We would actually have to stay at a school for more than a year? There was no way in hell that was going to happen. But it did. I realized it Sophomore year while I was sitting in Physics class, writing a letter to my parents telling them how much I hated them. As I looked out the window, watching the leaves fall off the trees, it hit me. We wouldn’t be leaving.
And then I did the unthinkable. I began to cry. I balled my eyes out in the middle of class, my hair covering my face so that no one could see me. I cried my heart out.
That’s when I decided I needed to do something. I wouldn’t sit around and be depressed. If I was going to be staying at St. Ignatius High School for the next two years (I transferred in as a sophomore), then I was going to make it the best experience of my life. That was the day I became popular. That was the day I left all my values and morals behind so I could be the most important girl in the school.
I begged my parents for a BMW. I threw out my wardrobe and bought a new one at Brass Plum, Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, Fossil and Hollister. If I was going to be popular, I needed to look the part. And I needed to act the part too. I kept my brown hair, but I changed everything about myself. I was no longer an individual; I was a lemming. And I hated myself for it. I dated all the wrong guys, made all the stupid decisions and drank to my heart’s content.
But there was always that one little thing that brought me back to reality…Nick Rasmussen. I was the biggest ass hole to him. I made fun of him like everyone else, except, I died every time I said something. That was until now. Now it’s senior year, and I’m going to do something about it. It’s my last year and I am tired – tired of all the bullshit; tired of all the fake people; tired of how I’ve been lying so myself, and tired of the fact that I let myself do it. This is the year for change, and by God, I’m going to change. I don’t want to be fake anymore. I don’t want to be ‘Christine Johnson: Most Popular Girl.’ I want to be ‘Christine Johnson: Individual, Intellectual, and Friend.’ But most of all, I want to be ‘Christine Johnson: Nick Rasmussen’s girlfriend.’
