In awkward isolation I'm not abandoned.
I'm the one who abandoned everyone
maybe they think I'm there
they'll tap my empty shell once in a while
a hollow smile, a hollow laugh is my answer
never real
never, as poets so often repeat, reaching my eyes
what if I want to be included, not isolated?
But I've gone too far to come back now
I'm stuck behind 3-D goggles of paranoia
nobody wants me
they want the shell I used to wear
that pure, hand-painted façade of enjoyment
almost real
not real enough for me
No running back now
if I return now, they'll have scarcely notice the absence
little do they know, there was no absence—
I was never there at all.