Keron and Inu copyrighted to Amataeru
Warning: ANGST & YAOI (boyxboy love) don’t like, don’t read.
Sustain, My Love-KeronxInu

“Keron!”

He ran.

He couldn’t bring himself to face this…no not now, please! He couldn’t accept this. No, he couldn’t bring himself to realize that this was truth; reality and that he couldn’t escape. That’s what hurt the most. The temptation took hold of hi entire being once again. That forbidden feeling he wanted to be rid of emerged again stronger than ever and he was afraid.

“Keron!” The voice sobbed, growing louder and louder with each passing moment, trying to grasp him, trying to take him away. But he couldn’t. No…. Keron sprinted from his lover, heart-broken, and hating himself for being such a coward. They said that once bitten, twice shy, and though people may compare, that wasn’t the idea. It was far deeper. Nothing can describe what he’s been going through.

''cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.'

From behind the safety of the door, he immediately cleared his thoughts, and closed himself from the boy as well as the emotions that seemed to form once again. His cold heart has brought him so much pain and he didn’t want the past to repeat. Gasping, Keron swallowed his guilt and slumped against the door, hearing the footsteps of his lover upon the pavement and hands scratching desperately at the door.

Inu had never felt so upset. Why did Keron leave him? Didn’t he love him anymore? Was all those years of passion an act? Did it mean anything at all to the Katsuya? Inu stifled a sob, gasped and panted, feeling nauseas. All of this was too much to comprehend and his pain jolted with pain. His hands continued to scratch the door, wanting dreadfully to be let in, to fall into the warmth of his beloved and be lost in the bliss of soft touches. Three years…three years since Keron suddenly left, and three years Inu spent completely cutting himself from the world, crying and suddenly made to believe his life was at end. Aki and everyone were worried but he didn’t let them near. It was the punishment for himself, all the pain was meant for him. Sometimes he’d awaken from a distant image of the silver-haired boy, and then suddenly scream out afraid that he was really losing him, not just physically but mentally. Perhaps this was what Keron wanted but not Inu. He couldn’t live without the dark child, he needed him or his life was without meaning or guidance. The pain…oh the pain was too much to bear.

'This is no place to try and live my life.'

Keron felt the lump of guilt crawling up, stronger than ever. Hiding his anger through clenched fists, he tried to shut everything down fro his mind, so he wouldn’t have to feel this. Inu… he wanted the beautiful boy so much. But all he ever did was hurt him. What pained him the most was that Inu constantly forgave him and then there was a continuous cycle of pleasure and remorse. Keron couldn’t stop touching the blonde for the boy was so beautiful, flawless, sinless, just absolutely perfect in every which way. Amataeru Inu was the only one that could complete him and was his savior because he was rescued from the darkness of his heart.

“Keron…you have me don’t you?” A brief pause and then there was a soft voice, masked by mock casualty and calmness. “I mean, hate me that is,” Inu’s voice cracked and waved; he then dug his names into his own arms to prevent from totally lose control and break down. He felt stupid and felt that he was unreal. His legs shook violently moments before breaking way and he was upon his knees, sprawled like delicate porcelain doll before the door.

“I just… want you to know…I-I love you and that you’re my everything,” Inu gritted his teeth, tears welling up his eyes causing his vision to blur yet he didn’t wipe his tears away. His voice dropped to a whisper, his entire body couldn’t register and instead started to tremble and everything felt so cold. “If I can’t make you happy… I just… I…I hope that,” with his sentenced unfinished, a sob rose from the back of Inu’s throat and he completely broke down, sobbing violently, and unsuccessfully trying to calm himself down. His body ached, his heart in pieces, and everything was now dark and empty. They were so close but so far apart. Inu continued his heart-wrenching sobs, knowing that if he didn’t leave, he was simply being selfish and clingy. Keron wouldn’t like that and would hate him; he would hate himself if crying seemed like the last resort to be reunited with his love. He didn’t want to see Keron’s face of disgust.

'Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.'

Paralyzed by insight through Inu’s confessions, he tried to grasp his own feelings, control them. All he wanted to do was to love his boy and due his selfishness, that boy was in such a condition. Depression can make a person let go of all will to live on and he knew that Inu was very sensitive and was willingly to do anything in return of affection. It was all his fault! Keron mentally slapped himself for hurting Inu again.

“Oh my God, Inu… I’m so sorry,” Keron whispered softly, his voice was unrecognizable as though it was not his own. Unfortunately Inu was sobbing his heart out and hadn’t heard him. Keron shut his mouth and opened but no noise came out. Turning to face the door, it took several minutes to fully register his situation. There was nothing else he could do. He didn’t hate Inu but loved him with all his heart but it seems that it was Inu that didn’t know this.

The door flew open causing Inu to snap his head up and emerald met ruby. In one sudden motion, Inu was thrown in to a desperate hug; arms securely tightened abou his wais, Keron’s head buried into the nape of his neck. Inu’s breath caught up in his throat, eyes wide open, heart racing. What is Keron doing? Inu hiccupped, and closed his eyes. A shiver tingled his spine, and the warmth of the other made him melt. The tears however still flowed and it wasn’t soon until his body went into spasms and he started sobbing again but harder.

'I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.'

“Oh God…Inu, I’m so sorry. So sorry,” Keron kept repeating, almost whispering into the blonde’s neck. “I hurt you again, please forgive me!” Inu wrapped his arms around his lover’s body, basking in the warmth the other gave, gasping and then letting it all out. Keron’s heart ached upon listening to his beautiful Inu in such a condition, distraught and upset, and in response hugged him ever so closer, kissing his neck. The two remained there for what seems like hours on end until Inu’s sobs diminished into silent sniffles. Though Keron’s kneeling position did his knees a great amount of discomfort, he kept on hugging as though his very life depended on it, rubbing his head against Inu who in return smiled and encircled his arms around Keron’s neck. The air was moist and still. Neither boys moved or dare disturb the bond they now shared, stronger than ever.

'So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.'

“I love you, Keron,” Inu whispered and held his breath. His heart was still full of unanswered questions and doubts but he chose to be stubborn. Perhaps Keron just felt sorry for him and that made him tear up. He hated being so weak and dependent but no one else had so kind towards him; he had no one else to go to anymore. Keron inhaled the scent of the gorgeous blonde, pulling him closer and smiled though the other could not see. The guilt he felt all his life scattered away replaced by a warm feeling blossoming in his chest, a feeling he felt he was undeserving of but was willing to prove himself wrong.

“I love you, too.”

((owari))

The song is Who I am Hates Who I’ve Been, one of my very favorites by ReliantK, thought it was fitting in a way.

That was so pointless and …the ending ugh. Well this is one of the main parts of the original Keron and Inu story. Keron left Inu feeling that he was taking advantage and felt if he weren’t there, Inu would live a better life. Only there was the opposite effect and it left Inu traumatized and overly depressed for three years. T0T read and review!