“lately has been weird for me…
but it’s been getting better, really. don’t worry.”
that’s what i told her, anyway
so grateful for her concern
and caught up in chasing
illusory rainbows
i didn’t realize
the rain wasn’t gone.
days later
i kept on thinking something wasn’t right
and i still just didn’t understand (why?)
when it all came down
again.
(those thoughtless words ringing in my head)
and again. and again.
(ringing, ringing)
hitting false bottoms
that kept on
bottoming out
until finally i hit
bedrock.
and it wasn’t ‘til then
that i realized how much
i’d been bottling up
(oh, so so much)
and i guess it all came out right then, so broken and just plain
tired
sobbing myself to sleep
(i had no idea – i’d forgotten how to cry more than solitary tears and how not to cry silently)
but at last the cleansing of a real, heartfelt cry was able to do me good.
only then
did i know
(almost too late i realized)
that springing back up so quickly and permanently after being stepped on
(even if it was your own shoe)
has never been a very human thing to do.
and i know that i’m left with
not just scars
‘cause i know
that these wounds need time to heal
but eventually
i suppose all that blood will be gone
leaving only faint marks on
my pale skin
those ringing words
no more than a fading
e c h o.