AN--no matter what i say, he doesnt listen. my dreams don't snag his attention. i'd do what he wants me to do if it didnt feel so fake. if bitterness was a genre, this'd be that.

---

Denial—and oh, that saccharine smile

And the irony is:
You could keep talking, but what’d be the point? He won’t h e a r y o u

Like empty shadows, which never linger (they can’t help it, the wind blows them off)
(your)words are ghosts, are apparitions.
Oh, there’s their leftover shell

(an imprint)

But it doesn’t affect him,
Doesn’t leave a mark

(you swore it would, you swore you felt them—maybe you’re just insane?)

Business as usual, by now you should be

used to it

But you’re still taken aback

(and you disgust yourself with your naïveté)

Next is the realization: you try to hide your surprise

(but is it a surprise if you’re expecting it?)
(un)fortunately he doesn’t notice,
which you tell yourself is a good thing;

(the world might end if he did, after all)

So, the cure, then: you might as well just agree and nod your head

(blindly)

With whatever he’s telling you now, because only those words will stick to him

--Otherwise he can’t hear you, because he (doesn’t agree) Otherwise it’s meaningless, because you (don’t exist)--

But as long as you do agree, well,
You know it’ll all work out, for him and(not)for you.
And, really, does it matter if what he’s hearing isn’t what you’d like him to hear?
At least this way he’ll notice your existence.

At least this way you can be a s s u r e d of your presence.

The outcome: finally,

you have to agree that it’s

no big deal

….

(but still your hands feel sticky with blood/sweat/tears/take your pick,
and if you’re not careful, that s a c c h a r i n e s m i l e might just dissolve.)

---

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AN- i HATE the formatting on this site! this poem should look so much different then it does...i really wish everything didn't automatically get double-spaced. as it was, this started in one place and ended in another entirely.

not too sure how i feel about this one....

a huge thanks to the people who reviewed my first poem up here, several of whom i'd already really liked as writers themselves. special mention has t' go to Krys for reviewing twice, n.n. and also, kutelizzy, who never fails to crack me up with her super-stupidity.