Un texte assez maladroit je pense, mais le but était de faire passer des impressions

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lost faith

I just wonder if I must give up. Everything seems to collapse around me, and everybody looks as if they were keeping theirselves apart from me. Am I doomed to fail everything I do? The father told me just to continue believing in Him for He cares all His children, and more, that He will bless them for they unbreakable faith. But all those failures make me lost my faith. All those disaster make me wonder if He is really carrying us.

In the street, I see the poor people trying to get some money for buying things to eat. Three days ago, I saw a child starving inside an amount of garbage: he has taken a refuge in it for he was freezing. He was as thin as those children of Africa we can see on TV. When I came near him to help, he was absolutely afraid but to weak to move. I gave him my lunch – sandwiches, oranges and water – and I had to help him to eat… Does He really see all these people trying to live but dying in silence?

I told this story to the father the day after, and he was embarrassed. He tried to make me understand that He can’t help each poor people on earth, but that He makes His best, and bless them…. And cares about them…. And bless them again… He was just trying to sooth me…I think that the father was trying to conceal his embarrassment and own failures behind Him. He can’t have acknowledged that he didn’t know either why He has left us alone on earth, with this world going worse and worse.

Everywhere is loss, sadness and suffering. I can’t live peacefully with these feelings of guilt. More than that, I feel like men were hating men and all other forms of living things (The world is out off its axe!). Can we just live as puppets? Can we just live without love? I can’t imagine that, but it is how things are going to become… They have already begun.

Yeah, I think I lost my faith…