|Bedrock affiliate of Satan
Author: Scrunchy PM
Well, I got pretty bored in a lesson, and tried my hand at a company disclaimer, for a product we were making in groups... I just wanted thoughts, so go ahead!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 408 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 06-08-06 - id: 2188813
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Bedrock (affiliate of Satan®)
We cannot be held responsible for any injuries, fatalities, loss of income or any other detrimental effects upon your health, person. Family members, mental health, deities, demons or other assorted beings, not of this Earthly realm. You can be held personally liable for any loss of reputation or profits suffered by the Company as a result of your person incidents, fictional or other. We reserve the right to unreservedly "sue your ass into the ground" upon grounds of defamation, slander, manslaughter or murder of employees or the general public, acts of God (and/or Satan) or any other charges we care to fabricate. By reading these conditions you are entering into an unwritten, legally binding contract under which you automatically agree to the aforementioned conditions and also agree to forfeit your soul to both the Company and, by direct link, Satan, the Dark Lord of the Underworld. Miranda rights (the rights to remain silent) are non-applicable, as we reserve the right to operate outside of the law of the land, and also the right to force you to give evidence against yourself through use of torture methods and/or truth serums. By reading this, you automatically forfeit the right to legal representation in the even that a court case is filed against you by the Company. You also agree to participate in any research activities (including human testing) that the Company deems applicable. In the unlikely event that you, the reader, possess a reasonable degree of intelligence then there is a possibility that you will be restrained against your will and your life will be potentially terminated without prior notice. In the event of the above circumstances attempts to escape must be submitted in writing no later than 28 working days prior to said escape attempt. Failure to comply will result in punishment to the maximum extent permitted by applicable law. In the event that applicable law does not exist, or has been conveniently overlooked, we reserve the right to rewrite said laws however we wish. In case of ingestion of our product, accidental or otherwise, we recommend application of liberal quantities of acid to the eyeballs, immediately followed by rigorous laceration of the stomach, before contacting your GP for further treatment. We love you all really. Please buy our product. Batteries not included.
The product was a toy wagon made of card, about 10x7x10cm... yup, I got REALLY bored in that 'lesson'…