Love's such a tragedy...

My Heart, Your Hands

Everyday I’d just watch him like some sort of Guardian Angel hoping that he would never get hurt. His smile was gorgeous and every time I saw it I felt my heart skip a beat. The way he would smoothly flirt with any girl, leading her to blush like a beet, it always made me envious, of the girl of course. He was my sunshine, my everything, my very existence.

If that’s what you thought I felt when I saw Ryan Cooper then you’re wrong. After going out with him for two months I realized he was the biggest mistake of my life. He was definitely something else. He thought himself a God because he could land any girl he wanted (which by the way was not true.) Yeah, he had a few girls lagging him like sad puppies but that didn’t mean that all of them wanted a piece of him and his beautiful blue eyes. (Contradicting yes….)

Ryan was everything I didn’t want in a boyfriend. He was stuck-up, didn’t know how to treat a girl and the most disgusting, he thought women were objects. I was surprised we lasted the two months we did. Most of them, his girlfriends, were dumped within the expansion of two days.

But why had I gone out with the guy in the first place? Simple. He asked me out and I was left blushing like an idiot. It was one of those situations where you just can’t get the no that you want to get out, out. The aftereffects, I became the longest lasting girlfriend Ryan Cooper ever happened to have.

Was I drop dead gorgeous? I really didn’t know. To me I was just another average teenage girl going through her life with her ups and downs. The sudden interest in me struck me as odd at first and for the first few weeks I was really suspicious that his friends put him up to this to gain a laugh.

However, he just kept showing affection and so slowly I began to actually like the guy, that’s until I heard he cheated on me with Brianna Oliver. It was over at that point and he knew it.

That was exactly one week, two days, four hours, thirty-six minutes and seven seconds ago…wait eight…no, nine. Oh, you get it! We haven’t spoken to each other since.

Another day, another teacher getting on my case for not tucking my uniform in properly, for not handing my work in on time but at this point I really could care less. Ryan seemed to never leave my mind. His sparkling smile went on torturing my heart and sent pangs of pain shooting into my soul.

Deep right? No. I was tired of seeing the one face I wanted to forget forever. I should have realized that a thing like actual caring was not meant to be mine, especially not with Ryan Cooper.

“Anna!” A voice hollered, letting me escape if only for a few moments from the memories of my not so beloved Ryan.

I turned around to see my best friend of four years running my way, fast. I guessed that something big had happened. She was a tad girly, Lizzie, short for Elizabeth. Sometimes a bit too much to handle. “Yeah?” I asked, wanting to skip school all together.

She came to a halt beside me, panting for air. I softly patted her back, sending the message that she could take her time. Lizzie stood up straight and smiled one of her 100 watt smiles. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Guess what?!” She squealed.

“What?” The stereotypical way of getting news to your friend, the ‘guess what’ maneuver.

“Davie asked me out.” A triumphed beam marked her face. I sighed. Her long time crush, David Ricoh, a guy of a bad reputation had asked her out. Did she expect me to be happy?

“Lizzie you know he’s not worth you!”

“Oh and Ryan was worth you?” She countered back.

That pang of pain shot right back and throbbed in my chest. The sudden feeling of hurt and regret came right back and clung to my back. “Sorry. It wasn’t in my place to judge you.” I turned around and began my walk to my locker as I had been before.

I don’t know if it was her who called my name or if I was just hallucinating but my eyes glued to my locker, for Ryan Cooper was leaning beside the locker next to mine. His black hair falling onto his pale face, covering his eyes completely. I tried hard not to look at him but the guy had this aura about him that craved attention.

He looked up from where he was standing and locked eyes with mine. My head started to swim just like normal but my stomach wanted to do butterflies. The nervous feeling of seeing a guy you liked resided into me. I wanted to scream at myself. He wasn’t worth it!

“Anna…” He began but I quickly cut him off with raising my hand. Why should I listen to him? He cheated on me, after I had dumbly started to trust the school’s player.

I dialed the code for my locker, and snapped it open. It was a mess of books, clothes and other crap I could care less about. A mirror on the locker door reflected Ryan’s face but I chose to ignore it.

“Anna please listen to me!” He begged. I closed me eyes fighting off his pleas.

“Why should I? So you can tell me you didn’t mean to sleep with that bitch?!” Oh I had so much more to spit out at him but I chose to stop there. I slammed my locker door and stalked off to my first class.

I felt my wrist being grabbed and I was pulled back, smacking into the person behind me. I glared at Ryan who had a pleading look in his eyes.

“I never slept with her! I didn’t even touch her Anna!” His pressing was not going to help.

“Why should I believe the guy who’s gone out with every girl that’s willing to throw herself at you? It was my stupid mistake to go out with you in the first place. Please leave me alone.” I needed to let go, let go of everything that gave me that stinging pain.

Taking myself out of his grip I walked off, leaving him standing there watching as I walked away. Tears threatened to break lose but I fought them back striding to get to my class as quickly as possible.

The day had passed without much else to happen. I went and sat on the bleachers outside to get away from all the commotion in the cafeteria at lunch and then skipped last period to make sure I wouldn’t end up having to talk to Lizzie or Ryan. They happened to be in my science class.

Yes I was running away from my problems but I wasn’t one of those head-strong girls who could take on a ton of emotional drama at once, especially not with what was happening at home. My mum was once again going on her stupid drinking sprees and coming home with a new man every night.

I was okay with it, after all four years of the same ordeal had been going on. It was my sister I was worried about. She was only 10 and I always found myself holding her as she cried about how horrible our mother was.

School sucked, home sucked, there was really no where to go. I decided on going to the old park at the outskirts of my small neighbourhood. It always helped me relax and think things out.

As I walked down the gray, old sidewalk, eyes watching my feet as I took step my every step, I wondered if I was a good person.

Was I doing everything I could as a big sister? What I said this morning to Lizzie, was it the friendly thing to do? And Ryan, should I have listened to his excuses? Was it wrong to put myself first for once? I was being selfish wasn’t I?

I wet on asking myself point-less questions until I realized that I was at the park. There it was the dead, brown park. The swings were on the verge of breaking and the paint had all but chipped off. There was a small merry-go-round that probably worked at one point but now it was just as useless as I was feeling right now.

I walked over slowly towards the merry-go-round and climbed a top my favourite little white unicorn. I smiled softly as I pat its’ mane.

“You look cute when you smile.” My head snapped at the sound of the voice I knew all to well. There stood Ryan not even a few steps away.

“What are you doing here?” Yeah I sounded rude, but what did he expect, me to jump off and throw my arms around him for stalking me?

“Anna I need to talk to you and I’m not leaving until I do.” He made himself clear. I swallowed hard, was I going to hide my feelings? Of course, that’s what always happens.

“Then I’ll leave.” I was about to get off of the unicorn but he stopped me and pressed me into my seat making sure I wouldn’t leave.

“No. We’re going to talk.” Demanding aren’t we?

“Why?” I really didn’t know why I went on bluntly refusing to talk to the guy.

“Because, I never cheated on you with Brianna or any other girl for that matter.”

“And, why should I trust what comes out of your lecherous mouth?” I think the stubborn-ness ran in the family.

“Anna you don’t understand! I…I really like you, ever since you first came to McGivney I wasn’t able to commit to any girl because all I thought about was you.” I sat on my unicorn, shocked. He wouldn’t have lied, right?

I swallowed hard on my spit and with it my shock. Taking a deep breath I began, “From what I heard you were always a player.”

“Yeah, I was but…but for you I tried to change. I promise Anna I would never cheat on you not after it took me two years to finally ask you out.”

I just couldn’t believe it. It took Ryan Cooper two years to ask me, Anna Botanski, out. I tried to hide a smile at how silly he seemed right now.

Was I goning to give him another chance? I guess so. Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? I felt my heart warm up and a tingly feeling you only get when you feel super happy.

“Ryan Cooper give me three good reason’s why I should give you a second chance?” It was my small condition.

He looked at me, eyes twinkling with hope, “One, I like you more than any girl I’ve ever liked. Every minute we spent together talking, hanging out was total bliss to me. Anna you made my heart beat in a way I never knew. Two, I never cheated on you and I never would. You make me feel complete so why would I need any other. And lastly, three, you’ve changed me for the better. I always thought that girls were just ‘things’ but it’s as if you melted it all away. You’re the base that supports me, Anna, I need you.”

I smiled at him, finding his answer more than competent. I leaned forward and pecked him softly on the lips letting him know that I was willing to get back together with him.

His warm hand reached up, touching my cheek lightly. I placed my hand on top of his and gave him one of my 100 watt smiles. He laughed, lightly kissing me on the forehead.

“Thanks.” He whispered.

“Your welcome.” I whispered back. Next thing I knew I found myself in a tight embrace with Ryan Cooper, the so called playboy of St. McGivney Secondary School.

I guess all I wanted was to be with him again, yeah he was a player and he could be a jackass at points but he was my jackass. Tres cliché, I know but how can I help it? He’s my knight in shinning armor.

Will it all work out? I don’t know, nobody knows. All I know is I’m happy to be with him and so is he to be with me. That’s all that matters for now. I’m sure whatever comes our way; we’ll tackle it down if we truly do want to be together.

And they lived happily ever after?

To be continued…