Viva la Stone Bridge!
A Collection of Crazy Quotes by the Students of Stone Bridge High School

Wow. Guess what this is? If you guessed that it is another "story" where the "author" just dumps a load of quotes from school/parties/friends/etc. into one big document, then you are CORRECT!!!!!! Tell 'em what they've won, Johnny!

School. We love it. We hate it. We laugh. We cry... But most importantly, we remember it. And this how I remember my good ol' times at Stone Bridge High: by bringing up fond memories of the numerous stupid things that my fellow classmates had said during throughout the horridly long school year. And I would like to share these "special moments" with you, friend!

In September 2005, a legacy was made. A sophomore, bored out of her wits at school, decided one day to write down all the quotes that made her laugh during a variety of classes. Although she never captured all of them, and lost much of the papers and worksheets on which she put the blasted things, many of them indeed did happen to survive. Ladies and gentlemen, that sophomore (who's now a senior!) would like to present to you, Viva la Stone Bridge!

(While making DNA models)
Chris: Hey, give me one of those little hookers!
Chris: I mean... That just sounded so wrong...

Chris: (Drops DNA bits) Darn it! My hookers have escpaed!

Joe: Give me one of those little hookers. No, not the white hooker. The black hooker.

Joe: (Connects all his pieces together into a circle and wears his helices as a hat.)

Joe: (Connects some bits and pieces together) Hey! Look at my breakdancing dude! (Flips it) TIGHT!!!!!!

(While learning about DNA)
Joe: Where do all the dead cells go? Do you just like...poop them out or something?

(While drinking our moonshine)
Joe: Is it possible to train your throat to be bigger?
Mrs. Potts: Uhh... No.
Joe: DARN IT! It would be so cool to see some guy gulping down a buncha cats!

Mrs. Potts: Hand me the cards.
Mrs. Potts: Hand me the cards, James!
Mrs. Potts: Do you want lunch detention?
James: Uhhh...
Aaron: Let me intercede, Mrs. Potts. I'll take the cards.
Mrs. Potts: And then you'll give them to me!
Aaron: What are you going to do with them???
Aaron: Can I show you a magic trick?
Aaron: Do you want the box?
Mrs. Potts: NO!!!

Mrs. Potts: Matt, Caitlin, go back to your desks.
Mrs. Potts: You have no reason to be sitting there.
Aaron: Yes they do!
Aaron: They have a reason to be here.
Aaron: Because I'm here.

Aaron: If the water doesn't work, do they have to take us home?
Mrs. Potts: I don't know...
Mrs. Potts: THAT WOULD BE SWEET!!

Mrs. Potts: Who came up with lens to look at organisms in pond water?
Aaron: MICHAEL JACKSON.

Chris: I want to be an ambulance when I grow up! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-ROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Chris: I hope Germany hasn't been to this site.
Me: They have. They're right by the Netherlands.
Chris: What?! NOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE MY TWO FAVORITE COUNTRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder why someone hasn't assassinated them yet!!

Joe: Will you shut up James before I kill you?!

Joe: It makes me so much happy!

Chris (the Portuguese one): THAT SCIENCE PROJECT SUCKS. IT LOOKS LIKE HE JUST DID IT ON THE BUS!

Mrs. Potts: So yeah...you guys can't bring any hazardous acids or anything to the Science Fair.
Joe: Darn it! I can't bring my anthrax!
James: "No cyanide gas, guys! No cyanide!"
Topher: No, bring mercury! MERCURY!!

Topher: Yeah, so I took pictures of me doing the project, put it on the computer, digitally remastered it, and printed it out!
Joe: That sounds like a DVD. "Christopher -- DIGITALLY REMASTERED."

James: For my experiment...
Joe: Experiment?!
Class: (BURSTS OUT LAUGHING)
Joe: Okay, sorry.
James: Now, about my experiment....
Class: (LAUGHS AGAIN)
James: In my experiment....
Class: (LAUGHS!!!!!!!)
Joe: Just say "my project"!!
James: Okay, for my project--
Class: (Dead silence.)

Chris (the Portuguese one): What's the standard size for your 2x4?
Brian: Uh, I don't know. My 2x4 standard size.

Joe: If you cut my paper, I will kill your babies.

James: Ummm, you know about number C? I mean LETTER!!

Mrs. Potts: We're going to see a slideshow of the diseases, and you'll get to see the disease while we're talking about it.
Chris (the Portuguese one): EW!!!!

Andy: We had a sex interaction in Biology today!

Joe: I want a goy or a birl!!

Aaron: My German teacher's phone goes off, and now my biology's! That's just scary!
Chris (the Portuguese one): DARN IT, NO IT'S NOT!!!!!!!

(While passing around fossilized crocodile feces)
Topher: I dare someone to lick it!
Chris (the Portuguese one): For how much?
Joe: I'll bet you...three bucks!
Chris: DEAL.

Chris (the Portuguese one): Where does tar happen?

Joe: Hey--hey, Ms. Potty!

Chris: If energy is so high on the top, wouldn't it be better for the plants if we made fertilizer out of people?
James: ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANT TO SPREAD DEAD HUMANS OUT ON YOUR -LAWN-?!

(While watching Jurassic Park)
Lex: "He's the T-rex going to eat the goat?!"
Matt: No, he's going to come by and play checkers!

Tim: "Aw, man. I hate trees."
Matt: Well, I doubt another car will fall out of this one.

(While watching Osmosis Jones)
Joe: What's the virus's name?
Me: Thrax.
Joe: ...Thrax... (Writes down answer)
Joe: Anthrax!

Me: You know our class is pretty bored when we have to lock each other in the cabinets for fun.