Thank you to all who commented. I hope this is an improvement. I do like this one (even moreso now); it stands out from the last few, which have been crap. I thought I should put something here so that all those that suggested things didn’t look like crazy people.

Eyes like mantelpieces;
Filled with memory-junk and
Sandpapered to unnaturalness.

Stained saucer, leaky teacup,
Fragmented apocalypses,
Predicted at noon and eaten for
Breakfast.

Suck in your storm,
And don’t be lazy about it;
Some ships get wrecked,
Lost, in the ocean.

I am a courteous disaster,
You’re just a mess,
Hey, such a mess.