Set up: A dinner table with styrofoam cartons (take-out boxes), plates and silverware is positioned center-stage. Four chairs are placed around the table, angled so that the audience can see the character’s faces. Mother and Father enter from stage right; both are tense. Mother is holding a water glass, which she sets down on the table, near her chair.

Mother: (Trying to appear calm) Dinner! (Looks behind her) Kids, time to eat!

Father: (Walks around table, muttering loud enough for Mother (and audience) to hear) Yeah, come and eat the meal your mother lovingly prepared for us. (Mother glares at him as he sits down with a grunt)

Daughter: (Enters from stage right) She ordered take-out from that Chinese place a couple blocks over. I’d hardly call that loving. (Starts looking over and opening the cartons) Hardly.

Son: (Off stage) Chinese? (Runs on from stage left) Awesome! (Joins Daughter in looking through cartons; Daughter rolls her eyes and sits down next to Mother) Hey, Mom! Did you get my favorite? You know, the pork in that spicy sauce?

Mother: (Looks up, startled out of her thoughts) What? Oh, yes. (Picks up carton nearest to her, peeks inside) Here it is.

(While Mother and Son are talking, Daughter picks up random carton and dishes out some food on her plate. She watches the family once her plate is full and doesn’t eat.)

Son: Sweet! (Takes carton, sits down next to Father and dishes some onto his plate. Pauses and looks at Father) Pop, you want some? (Offers food to Father)

Mother: Oh, that’s probably too spicy for your father… (She trails off as Father glares at her)

Father: Sure, I’ll take some. (Grabs carton from Son, dishes food onto plate angrily, he takes a bite and reacts with exaggerated happiness and obvious annoyance) Best damn pork I’ve ever had.

Mother: (Trying to keep the peace) Maybe I’ll have to try some then… (Son starts to hand the carton to her)

Daughter: (shakes head) How can you call this suburban marital bliss?

Mother: Now, honey, don’t talk like that. (Turns to Son) How was soccer practice today? (Son opens mouth to respond but Father cuts him off)

Father: Your daughter just asked a question. Since she’s moving upstate for college soon, why don’t we indulge her, just for once?

Mother: (Obviously not interested in “indulging” Daughter, sighs and turns to Son) Never mind, I don’t want any. Thank you.

(Daughter gives Father a flat, angry stare) Father: What was that you said again? (Asking purely to irritate Mother)

Daughter: (Looks down at plate, then looks up at Father, challengingly) Nothing, nothing. I figured it out on my own.

Father: Well, that’s just grand, aren’t you a smart girl? (Looks to Mother) See this, dear? We’re just one big happy family, with a star athlete son and prodigy genius daughter. Isn’t it nice that we can enjoy each other’s company over good food?

(5 to 8 seconds; the table is silent save for clanking forks; Daughter doesn’t eat as she stares at family)

Son: (Hesitant to break silence) Oh, yeah... I’m going to need some money, uh... around twenty bucks?

Mother: (Concerned) Why, honey?

Father: (Points fork at Son) We just bought you a new... Pod-box (Son: (interjects quietly) iPod, dad.) or whatever, last week.

Mother: (Glares at Father as she talks to Son) Why do you need twenty dollars? Honey, is something wrong?

Son: (Long pause, 3 to 5 seconds; Father’s rage becomes more and more apparent as Son talks.) I... er, sort of have Saturday school this weekend. That means I need a ride too. I figured you (looks at Daughter) can give me one? (Looks back at Father and then Mother) I’m real sorry! I didn’t mean to get in trouble and I’ll pay you guys back once I get the money... (Trails off when he sees that his parents aren’t buying his sob story and starts to “curse” under his breath)

Mother: (Shocked) Why are they sending you to Saturday school? And, where in the world did you learn such language? Certainly not from your Mother!

Father: Never mind his language, boy’s got a healthy vocabulary! I’m more concerned with what my SON, the very example of a man’s character passed on, thought he was doing when he got himself a detention on a Saturday! There’s a soccer game on Saturday!

Son: Try explaining that to my teacher. She hates me! I didn’t even do anything wrong... She doesn’t get-

Father: (Cuts Son off) Don’t insult your teacher like that, young man. Miss Caroline is a wonderful young woman, I’ll have you know. She always raves about you and your performance in her class. I’m sure we can talk to her about this, get it straightened out.

Daughter: (Dryly) He didn’t say it was Miss Caroline. He didn’t even specify what subject it was. Wow Dad (stares at Father) your skills of deduction shock even me.

Mother: (Looks at Father, accusingly) She’s right, you know. You said it yourself, prodigy genius for a daughter. How do you happen to know all this about darling Miss Caroline? I, myself, haven’t seen or heard of this woman all year!

Daughter: (Continues to stare at Father) Probably when they were chatting it up at lunch. But (shrugs and sighs) who am I to say? (Everyone is silent as they stare at Daughter) What? I saw them eating together at Kenny’s Shrimp and Bovine last... Thursday, I guess it was.

Father: And what were you doing out of school, young lady?

Daughter: (Shrugs, not threatened) Off period. (Father continues to stare at her while Son stuffs his face with food. Without looking away from Father,) Don’t choke bro.
Son: I won’t. (Continues to shovel food into his mouth)

Mother: (Draws Father’s attention away from Daughter) An explanation, dear?

Father: (Looks away from Daughter) Oh, it was... well, it was nothing, dear. Really, nothing. (Clears throat nervously, and looks around desperately to Son, then Daughter. She stares back, unimpressed. Father looks back to Mother) It was nothing... I...

Mother: Yes?

Son: (Finishes food) I have homework to do. See ya. (Rushes off stage left. Daughter watches him go, then turns back to Father. She stares at him expectantly, as does Mother)

Mother: I believe I asked you a question, why don’t you indulge me, just this once?

Father: (Clears throat again) She just wanted to discuss our son’s performance in her class. And, we could only meet during lunch, so I offered to take her out... and...

Daughter: See, that doesn’t explain your over-reaction to your son getting Saturday school. Did you think Miss Caroline would coddle your boy because of... what?

Father: Shut your mouth young lady! I know exactly where you plan to take that sentence, and you can stop right now. Whatever happened to respecting your elders?

Mother: Your son has a healthy vocabulary when he curses but my daughter is disrespectful when she challenges your lies? Don’t you dare snap at my daughter, just because she’s right! I want an explanation, and I want one now. From you. (Points at Father dangerously as he looks at her with a mix of fear and doubt) Where we won’t disturb the children, dear. (Storms off stage right)

Father: (Sits for a second, defeated) I... don’t believe this. (Glares harshly at Daughter) This is all your fault! (She stares back at him, unafraid as he walks off stage right)

Daughter: Suburban marital bliss, indeed. (Takes first bite)

SCENE

This was written as a joint-effort between my friend and I for her theatre class. I’m not at all familiar with the technical language of scripts/screen plays and stage directions, so please forgive me.