Born Lucky

Shane O’Connelly was a good lad they say,

Until he turned the other way.

Some said he was crazy, just down on his luck,

For ’s sake just scream it-

“The lad was smoking shamrocks!”

Smoking shamrocks he may be, but crazy he was not.

He was going to crossover into Leprechaun Lane,

No matter how all of Ireland thought him insane.

So Shane O’Connelly began his quest. Before he left he had two pounds of corned beef and cabbage, a smoke,

And a glass of rum and Coke.

He did not know of where to start. There was no “Idiot’s Guide To: So You want to be Leprechaun, Is that a Joke? “

He thought of what his hero would do, no

It’s not Lucky Leon, the Leprechaun king.

It’s a sweet little lass in plaid and braids,

Dorothy is her name.

“She followed the yellow brick road so why can’t I?

There’s one in Dublin I’ll go to, Golden Street, it’s called,

Said to be made from freshly stolen leprechaun gold”,

Shane said with a chortle.

He went on to Dublin, dressed all in green, and ran down the Streets screaming, “Revenge of the Leprechauns! Revenge will be Mine! Revenge of the Leprechauns! Sweet Revenge, so divine!”

“Hey”, someone yelled as he ran past, “You forgot the Donut people!”

“They’re Munchkins, you bloke, and you can kiss my green–“

Then in mid-thought Shane remembered one place he should see,

Some kissing rock called Blarney’s Stone.

He found the stone on top a rainbow-colored hill, and tried in vain to kiss it, but found that, to his dismay, he continually missed it.

On his third try, third times a charm don’t y’know,

He hung himself upside down in a contorted shape,

He was 150 percent sure kissing this stone

And receiving its powers was fate.

He leaned closer and was an inch away, when his foot slipped.

What a shame that one kiss he did miss.

He instead fell and hit his head on the stone.

He had a wonderful dream, that Lucky Leon himself came to him and made him, yes him Shane O’Connelly, a leprechaun

That one fine day.

But if only it were real, because Shane did wake up,

And found a leprechaun he was not.

He got up and thought to call them nice folks at General Mills.

He had found an ad for a leprechaun call,

And he knew he was to be a leprechaun once and for all.

Thank his lucky rainbows he got the part, of a famous leprechaun in cereal land, filled with shamrock shaped oats and marshmallow candies galore.

In the end it turned out that buying a box of Lucky Charms

At the local store is your best bet for sure,

If you don’t want to look out your window on ’s Eve

and see Shane with his leprechaun comrades and their queen,

Banging at your front door, with smiles of revenge, squealing,

“Let us in, please. All we ask is for everything green.”