"Hey, hey! Do you remember that time we..."

"I don't want to hear it," he interupted her. She smiled though, and looked straight at him. She grinned a toothy grin, and pushed her hair back behind her ear.

"Yeah, I know." She paused awhile, just taking in his features. It was hard to believe that this was the same man from a year ago. He had changed so much, especially in his attitude, but he was still the same, underneath it all. If she dug hard enough, she realized, she could touch the tip of the old him hidden under the layer of new skin.

"I'm sorry. I'm really happy that you came back to see me though! I've been waiting a long time... a very long time. You're a fantasy boy, I know. I pay 4.50 every night for a new movie starring you, and it's worth every second. I know that you don't really exsist to me, though. After all, you can't taste Heaven before you die, can you?" She still smiled.

He looked vaguely at her. Even if his hair was short now, he still felt the need to pull on his bangs. He stared uncomfortably at her. "Look, you know, I've got someone new...you do too, so..."

"I know, I'm sorry. And, I really love him. You see, I can have him. He's a big jerk ninety percent of the time, but he's here, like you never were. I just waited an entire year for you to come back. I dated you for four years, and I depended my life on you. You left, and the world crashed. Literally. Everything bad started to happen all at once. And I wondered, did you worry? Did you think of me? Do you miss me even a little bit?"

She sighed heavilly, and fought with a growing frown. She promised him that she didn't love him anymore. She promised him that they could be just friends. She promised him that she could handle this, and make it work. And if it got out of hand, that he was welcome to leave again.

"It's just... I've been waiting an entire year for you to come back and give me some closure. A year. And I just have so many questions! I want them answered all at once so that I can quickly move on, and we can talk about normal stuff. That's okay, isn't it? I mean, this is all a big shock, for you to suddenly appear after such a long time, and, a part of me expected you to come back wanting me. Not with a girlfriend."

"I love her," he said simply. "I'm sorry, kiddo, but I don't love you anymore. We can't get back together this time."

"I know!" She made another grin. He'd remembered his nickname for her. "Just, I wanted you to come back, even if I would only push you away. I wanted to know I meant something to you, that you missed me. Whether I took you back or not didn't matter. I just wanted to hear it. I know the chances of you loving me again is negative three million, but I'd like to believe that one percent of you still loves me."

"That isn't going to happen."

"Who are you trying to convince? I don't even think your new girlfriend is real. I think that you made her up because I had a new boyfriend. I think you made her up to keep pushing me away. I think that you still love me, but you're terrified to say so, and you're scared as hell to say you want to try again!" She slammed her hands down.

"Do you love her more than you loved me?"

"You'll only get hurt asking that question. She's going to win by default."

"I never won by default," she said with a laugh, making a disgusted face. He stayed silent, and reached over the way to flick her forehead. "Baka..." he replied after some time.

"I'm worried us being friends isn't going to work out. It's you I'm worried about, not me. If we fall in love again, I'm leaving."

"You'd run from love?!" She looked at him coldly. "If something happened and you loved me again, you'd run instead of telling me? You would sacrifice both of our happiness? What is wrong with you?!"

"I just don't see how it'll work out. I'm worried you'll fall in love with me. I'm not worried about myself, you know. I don't love you anymore. It's over, and I'm not coming back. Yes, I still think of you, and yes, I have momentos of our time together, but face it. We live different lives now. Hold on to the boy you have."

"Don't worry about me," she said, standing. "I'm fine. I like you in my life. In any form or way. I knew you'd make another girl very happy one day. I'm extremely happy for you. I love the boy in my life, I do. I love you more, yes, but I can live with him. You hold a life every girl reads about in a book, and would kill to have, but can't reach. He holds a life that I can reach, and be content with. I live with you each night, but when the sun breaks the stars, I have to wake up, and face my reality. And I can deal with that."

She put her hands on her hips as he continued to watch her, emotionless. "If I ever did fall in love with you again, I wouldn't tell you. I won't make a fool of myself this time, I can promise you that. I'd rather die with my love than ruin your happiness. I'm that girl in the book that loves from afar, and stays away until the man decides he knows what he's missing. When you come to me, I'll answer to you. When you say you love me, I'll tell you back, if I love you. But, I won't ever tell you again. Having you in my life in any way is a lot better than not having you at all. I want this friendship, and I'm going to keep it if it kills me. I promise you that. Because I love that boy, and I'll be happy with him, with or without your love."

He sighed, and glanced down. She looked scornfully at him, and folded her arms. "Let me live in my little fairytale for a little while, okay? I'll grow out of it, and get over it. But, I need you to let me have just a tiny bit of happiness. If it happens or not, let me think that a part of you still wants me. Am I asking for too much? I want to pretend that something more is happening. In this world of pain, grant me a bit of happiness. Can you do that?"

"I guess so," he replied softly in the tone she loved. She bent her eyebrows down in sadness and stuck her lips together.

"Look, I've got to go. Let's talk again soon, okay? I want to make this friendship work. Let me know when you're off of work next, and we can get together. I came and got what I wanted. I have my closure, and my answers. Next time, I'll be happier, and we can talk about normal things, alright?"

He nodded, but she couldn't help but feel he was contemplating something in the back of his mind. "Yeah, sure, kiddo. I'll be in touch soon. I work all this week, so we'll see. Take care until then, alright?"

"I will." She turned with that, and prepared to take her first step.

"Ja ne," he said to her back. She froze for a second. She took a deep breath, fighting back sudden tears. 'Ja ne ai' is the phrase they used each time they said goodbye when they were together. It meant 'goodbye love' in Japanese. For him to remember even a token of that phrase and use it on her was more heartbreaking than any part of the conversation. Though she had said foolish things on love to him, she felt nothing. She was numb, and she did not love him. She loved the boy she had now, and she knew this the whole time. She just couldn't throw away her old flame like that. It was a love triangle, except one side didn't love her. She had two loves, and she had to choose, and she had chosen the current lover. Until he spoke that fragment of a memory out loud.

"Thank you for coming back," she said, "and thank you for remembering that phrase." She nodded her head, never turning back, and stepped forward. They'd meet again, and next time, they wouldn't talk about love lost and the old days. They'd talk about the future, and each other, and normal things. She knew that, and she knew she could make this friendship work, even with the tiny scar on her heart that was begging for his love to come back.

She imagined him getting up from the table and running after her. She imagined him yelling her name across the way and asking her to forgive him. She imagined a lot of things as she walked farther and farther away from the lost love, and still, nothing happened. He never moved, and she just slipped away numbly.

He sighed again, and slumped down in his chair. His hand went into his pocket, and he fumbled the silver ring. 'Real love lasts forever' was inscribed on it in fine script, and he stared at it. "Hey, I kept this ring. Do you still have the matching one? Do you still wear it at night when you're lonely?" he asked the empty seat across from him. "Do you think you're making a big mistake?"

"Yes," he answered himself. "But how long will it take before I make it right?"