We’re sitting in the car
But you are mad at me right now
So you’re looking out the window
Listening to your i-pod
I’m mouthing words to you
-‘You’ll never see me say these words’-
But you don’t see them
You never see anything
Not when you are angry.
-‘I love you’-
I saw something
Something I wasn’t supposed to see
I saw the cigarettes
I saw the knives
-‘I never want to lose you’-
But I put the box away
And didn’t look for it again
-‘I’m sorry’-
I read the words
The ones you wrote that day
When I made you angry again
-‘You don’t know how much it hurts’-
I gave you a response
You read it
But you never understood
What I was trying to say with those words
-‘Just never leave me alone’-
I’m holding you
Or at least trying
But you keep pulling away
-‘It hurts so much’-
So I resign and break myself
My eyes are blank and I don’t move
Now I’m apart from this world
And into the one you hate
-‘Just remember what you promised long ago’-
You hate me when I’m like this
You try so hard to save me
I don’t speak to you
And I only blink in response
-‘Never leave me alone’-
You know how thin my sanity is
And it scares you
To see me so empty
-‘Just hold me’-
You forget you are angry
Now you are panicking
-‘I love you’-
Because the longer I stay like this
The more I break
But the more I’m like this
The less pain I feel
-‘Can you see my tears?’-
You pull me back
And whisper you love me
But we both know I hurt myself again
And that it’ll keep happening
Every time I screw up and make you mad
-‘You will never see me say these words’-