Part five: “Gangsters and thugs, cuddles and hugs, some of my friends sell records, some of my friends sell-”

At this point you may be wondering, where does a super evil wizard like Rethro go when he has nothing better to do? And more directly, could someone like him have friends?

He was walking through a cemetery, which wasn't all that interesting on a nice clear night like this one, there were lots of stars. If I was a literary romantist I would say something like 'A million stars lit up the dark night like a thousand roman candles burning with-But I'm not. There were lots of stars and they were giving the protagonist a headache so they deserve no real description.

“Boring night yah?” There were voices coming just by the grave of the late duke Creevy.

“I'd agree man but the suspense is killing me, this guy was bloody rich”

“Filthy rich” the first voice agreed.

“Yeah! Bloody filthy rich!” Said the second voice.

“Don't you think this is a bit of a vile way to show your appreciation for the dead?” Rethro noted, emerging into the candlelight that one of them had provided. Their names were Pestilence and Victor.

Pestilence being a young woman with short straight hair (color unknown) wearing a black bandanna and waist coat, And Victor a ratty haired teen who lived under a bridge in the town. They were both grave robbers. Rethro had come across them one night a few years back while wandering the graveyard on a much similar night to this and had watched in fascination as they un-dug a corpse.

“'Ell I don't think Mr. Creevy's got any objections at this point” Said Victor, He and Pestilence both laughed.

“How are you Mr. Rethro?” She inquired “you haven't been around in ages”

“We thought you was dead” Victor put in.

“But then” said Pestilence “we would be the ones to know!”

They made a lot of jokes in bad taste about their work It was a wonder how someone like Rethro could put up with them. But then, they're lives seemed to be just cryptic enough for him to be interested.

“You make a mockery of my job” he said “You honestly thought I'd leave anything on the corpse?”

“Oh bloody 'ell not again!” said Pestilence “This is the third time we come across one o' yer cases”

“Save your eyes” and he tossed a few valuables at them from his pocket “Because he doesn't look to good right now...”

Victor picked up a gold ring and quickly snatched the rest of the items “Looks like we was right!” he said “the guy was loaded” He tipped his hat toward the half dug up grave “nice do'n business with ya Mr. Creevy” He put on a malicious grin. “And thanks to Rethro for do'n all the dirty work”

“My suggestion” said Rethro “wash your hair and buy some new clothes”

“And I says we all goes out for drinks!” declared Pestilence.

“Agreed!” Said Victor.

Rethro shook his head, he was far too kind to these hopeless cases, but he followed anyway. What else was there to do?

Meanwhile....

“I can't believe it was that easy” said Pan.

“I'm truly stumped” Arith agreed.

They were trudging around the forest a little disappointed that neither of them had been caught...that was what was supposed to happen wasn't it? They weren't supposed to leave so there must be something to keep them from leaving....but there wasn't. It was just, disapointing.

“It's kind of cold out” said Pan.

“And creepy” agreed Arith “What sort of things do you think live in places like this?”

“Trolls and witches of the most disastrous kind?” She inquired.

“Yeah” He said “Real live trolls!”

“Well don't sound so happy about it!” Pan squealed and held disease infected Bob so tight that he appeared to be suffocating. “they'll eat our brains!”

“Nuh uh” said Arith “they'll turn to stone at the first sign of light”He said as if this made everything better.

“But it's night out” said Pan.

“Yeah” He laughed “sucks to be you”

“What's that supposed to mean!” She was cut off as she tripped on a fallen log “who's bright idea was it to sneak off in the middle of the night?” she grumbled “I can't see anything!”

And so on and so forth, and all together they were both complaining the entire time, until about an hour later when they saw a camp fire up ahead,

“Look!” said Arith running up to it “A fire! Maybe there's food!'

Pan was already ahead of him. They both ran until....They were right in the middle of a group of trolls.

There was a long pause as trolls usually take a little while to compute things in their heads....and there was a bit of a silence (except for that annoying cricket that seemed hell bent on making lots and lots of noise)

Pan screamed “TROLLS!!!!”

Arith Yelled “I DIDN'T ACTUALLY THINK YOU WERE REAL!”

The trolls watched blankly as they ran off, but after a second or two one of them screamed “OH MY GOD! HUMANS!”

And another one yelled “I DIDN'T KNOW THEY EXISTED!”

And the other one who was hungry said “I heard they make great appetizers”

“Huh, I'm hungry, how bout you Ned?”

“I could eat”

So they ran after the humans.

The two young wizards were still running, As one often does when being chased by trolls. It's not a very comfortable situation as trolls are often times quite a bit bigger than humans and can outrun them easily.

“What do they want from us anyway?” asked Arith stopping for a second to breath.

“Appetizers!” The trolls shouted.

“That really sucks!” Arith called back to them.

They seemed to slow down a little and there was a pause as if they weren't quite sure how to respond “YOUR MOTHER!” one yelled back but was quickly shushed by the other ones.

“I really don't wanna become Troll food” Pan hissed “So could we please keep running?”

“Yeah you better run!” called Ned (if you recall the name of the troll)

“WE PWNED U!” Yelled one of the others.

“They what?” asked Arith, truly perplexed.

“OWNED!”

“yeah what a couple of n00bs!” said Another yet.

“What the hell does that mean?!” Arith asked Pan.

She shrugged.

“N0000Bs n000bs N000Bs!” they were chanting it now.

“I am not!' said Arith.

“Shh!” said Pan “Don't encourage them!”

“But they called me a n00b! And...well I don't know what it means but it sounds bad”

“Well you can't do anything about it so there” she said “Keep running”

“Yeah, it's easy to outrun them because they're SO SLOW!” Arith insulted.

“YEAH?” said a troll and seemed to want a witty come back but didn't have one on him...her....it and just said “YEAH?” again.

“Yeah you know your mama was so slow when she ran the marathon she was the last to complete in the children's race!”

“What you say about my mama???”

“I Guess it runs in the family!” He yelled back.

Pan rolled her eyes “okay” she said “You've hurt the feelings of a mostly innocent troll, can we go now?”

“Oh I know you didn't just say that!!” The trolls came out of hiding all looking pissed off...and hungry. “So you just gotta ask yourself” the one nearest said breathing into Arith's face “Do you feel lucky? Well...do ya? Punk?”

Arith raised his left hand palm facing outwards “I was gonna ask the same thing” he said.

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“I think you might just need to relax for a while” Pestilence was saying “It's clear that your getting stressed because your boss is an ass, take a vacation”

Rethro just looked at the table in front of him “I wish” he mumbled, he hadn't told either Victor or Pestilence about the exact conditions he worked under. But it was just a job wasn't it? Even if he didn't get payed...have specific hours...and had to do everything...A lot of jobs were like that.

“Yeah” said Victor “See, I'm sav'n up my cash to go on a trip to this big as 'ell port city on the coast”

“Keleigh?” asked Rethro “You're honestly spending your money to go tourist in a city that reeks of fish?”

“Hey!” said Victor “There's always work there, tha's what I hear anyway, lots a people wait'n to 'ire sommon like me! I could live like a king in a place like that”

Pestilence shook her head “No one lives like a king there” she said “the only reason people go to live in Keleigh is to fish...except...” she grinned.

Rethro noted that there was a look of greed on her face that meant there could only be money on her mind “what?” he asked.

“It's just” she smiled delightedly “If you got lucky you could make a lot of money there right now, see” she lowered her voice “the governor an' his miss, they in a bit of a state”

“Meaning?” asked Rethro.

She reached into her coat pocket and took out a wadded up piece of paper that she threw at Victor and explained “It was hanging around on a few of the shop windows, I kept it just in case it comes in handy”

Victor unfolded it looking a little confused “Bloody 'ell I can't read this” he said.

Pestilence looked at Rethro who snatched it from Victor's hands “The governor's son is missing?” he said after a few seconds, He thought this sounded unlikely.

“Not only that” She said “Look at the six figure reward for anyone with any information on the subject that leads them somewhere...

“Huh” said Rethro “that's a lot of money, but you could just as well rob a bank and get twice as much”

“you could” Pestilence looked at him hopefully.

“Sorry it's not really allowed” he said.

She looked downcast.

“But this....lets call it...message” he plodded further “You don't suppose it's real do you?”

“Can't hardly see why someone would make someth'n like that up” said Victor, confused.

Rethro had to say he rather thought that unlikely himself “It's can't” he said.

“What?” asked Victor.

Rethro was folding up the piece of paper now and putting it in his own pocket “You said can't hardly” he explained “that's a double negative it's incorrect grammar”

Pestilence giggled.

“what?” he asked.

“It's just” she said “I can't hardly see why a hit man would really care”

Rethro rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his wine. “I'm not a hit man” he mumbled moodily.

“yeah...er about that” said Pestilence “You kill people for a living”

“Face it” said Victor “We seen more of your corpses than anyone ought to, it's not a pretty sight”

“We would know” they said together.

Rethro glared at them “My job is far more complicated then that” he said.

“Really?” asked Pestilence.

“Really”

“Have more wine” said Victor.

“Maybe something stronger” Pestilence added. The two of them thought for the most part that Someone who did what Rethro did ought to spend a lot more time drinking than he actually did. But they had failed to ever see him in a manic mental breakdown. The truth was he didn't seem all that disturbed. Which was well, disturbing.

“What does it take to get this guy smashed?” Victor whispered but was jabbed in the stomach for an answer.

“what?” Rethro asked, in truth he was a little afraid that if he got drunk while out with his friends they might try to mug him in a back alley. The poor bastards thought he was rich. “I think I ought to get going now” he said “I'm supposed to convince Faren of all the time I've spent thinking about what I did”

“What did you do-” Victor thought about the missing person and said “you kill somebody?”

“Eh, he doesn't care about that sort of thing” said Rethro “He's cool like that, what he hates is being laughed at at his expense” he put on his coat “Oh, and I think you'll have a new grave to dig in a few days” he added as he walked out.

“Oh not again!” said Pestilence “You will not be ruining another perfectly good corpse!”

“Hey!” said Victor “He snaked off with that missing person info!”

“Well” Pestilence watched Rethro disappear into the black night “He is the prince of flies, What do you expect?” It was his nickname around there, They had known him by that before they had ever met him and the name suited. Wherever he went flies followed...Though when they thought about it it didn't really make sense because Rethro hated flies and insisted that they were dirty little disease carriers with no other purpose than to bite living things and eat off of dead things. They were pathetic things that only lived a month or two and then died without any life fulfillment.

(a kid who had been listening in had burst into tears at the end of the statement, Rethro never seemed to hide his views from the public)

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Pan had shielded her eyes from the blast of light that had been so bright it had almost felt like daylight for a second. When she looked up there were three stone trolls that had been just a second away from snatching the two of them up in their enormous claws. Arith was holding his wrist like he was trying to cut off circulation.

“What was that?” she asked.

He shrugged “maybe lighting?”

She shook her head “You did something” she said.

“No I didn't!” He said defensively “It was...a heat storm lightning bolt or something, happens all the time in...heavily wooded areas...”

“that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard, no less from you” she looked at him and smirked devilishly “what'd you do to your hand?”

He let it go quick “nothing!”

“don't look like nothing, you sprain it while standing there?”

Arith shrugged and said sarcastically “Yeah you know what that's exactly what happened” He started walking again “come on I don't wanna get caught again”

She took up his stride and said “You are a wizard then, I was starting to think you couldn't do noth'n”

“I told you I'm not a freak” he said and then at her ferocious glare said “I mean wizard, I'm not a wizard”

“You're in denial” She informed him in a factual matter “one of the first stages of being captured and held against your will in a gloomy castle”

He didn't say anything.

They kept walking until it was very near light out, the first signs of dawn, They walked past a a bunch of bushy pine trees that were blocking their view and bam. There it was...no, not civilization, not a town...Right in front of them was a big cold stone castle.

“No way” said Arith “We did not just go around in a circle!” He sighed in exasperation “This sort of thing doesn't just happen!”

Pan gaped.

A voice from behind them said “what are you two doing outside?” In an ironic sort of way Rethro had gotten back to the Castle just as the two SLPs had come face to face with it again.

“NO!” said Arith startling Rethro and Pan.

“What?”

“I am not going back in there!” said Arith “I hate the cold I despise the damp and I'm afraid of the dark! You can't make me go back there where all of those things are in abundance!”

Rethro sighed and watched as the hostage threw a tantrum, he shouldn't have to put up with this. “Yes I can” he said without much emotion “Go” he said looking at the relatively small entrance.

Arith glared at him, but got up (he had been enhancing his statement by sitting down) and walked toward the entrance “You're a terrible person!” he said.

“Uh huh” Rethro agreed.

“Ever heard of Karma? Huh?” He continued “It's gonna bite you in the ass one day!”

“Walk faster” Rethro yawned though he wasn't really tired. He didn't lock the door after the two brats had gone in, he didn't need to, instead he just phased through the wall (again forgetting he was gloveless and doubling over from the pain. Face it, some things he was a mastermind of, with other things he was just plain stupid.) He entered into the office expecting to get an earful from Faren who had told him over and over again to use the door. But it was empty, The old hag must have evacuated to find something to eat.

Rethro instantly knew he ought to leave. If he was ever found snooping around this room the punishment would be worse than losing a pair of gloves, But something in him didn't really feel like going...And another thing inside him was asking him why he ought to listen to a haggard old bat who just sat around all day. He had always wanted to know what was kept in here that was so secret, Just one look couldn't hurt.

Cautiously he did the first thing that was on his mind and raided the bird cage, The stupid fool had left the keys right on the desk. He put on his gloves and put on a mischievous grin. He had always wanted to do this.