Yeah, this is how it all started. My spiral towards my own destruction. I was in sixth grade. The perfect straight A daughter who loved life. I strived at everything. But everything changed that night I stayed over my granny’s house. He was there visiting from New York. My cousin, Brandon, barely sixteen, was the best looking member of my family. I adored everything about him. He had the toned body of a god. Everything about him glowed, even his honey-brown eyes. Everyone was sleep, except me, and I decided to sneak to the guest bedroom downstairs. It was the only room with descent cable. I walked to the door and pushed it open, it looked like I wasn’t the only one awake. He was there. Sitting on the bed. Looking at porn. I walked in with a puzzled look on my face. I sat on the bed, right next to him, staring at the screen.

I noticed something was different about him. He was sweating in his boxers. I was curious to know what he was doing, but I kept quiet. I had no clue what to say. He got up and closed the door; I heard the lock on the door click. The sound rang through my ears. A bad feeling ran up my spine. Something was going to happen. Brandon finally sat back down on the flower patterned, canopy bed. He grabbed the remote and turned the volume up to max. I thought granny would wake up, but she sleeps like a log. The end of the world wouldn’t even wake her.

The woman on the television was moaning, including the man. Both of their bodies were covered in sweat. It was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen. All I knew was that I wanted to leave. I rushed to the door, but couldn’t figure out the lock. His footsteps were coming towards me; I turned around, not knowing what to do. He grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bed. My body was limp. I had never seen him like this. His grip became tighter as he lifted me to the bed, fondling me as I lay there. Helpless.

He seized my wrists and pinned me down underneath him. His breathing was hard. All I could see was the glare of the television and his eyes. Those eyes that I will never forget.

Stop I said.

What are you doing? I asked.

Do you know what they are doing on the TV? He whispered

No.

Well, they are doing something fun. You wanna try?

No. Get off me.

He laughed.

I squirmed.

Then he kissed me on my lips, It was the first time a boy kissed me. I took deep breaths as he did it again and again. His one free hand started moving to my clothes. He removed my big, pink shirt that I had on. The one thing that was covering me , now, was my white and pink heart undies. My eyes felt like coming out of my head.

I didn’t want this.

Any of it.

I struggled.

No. I don’t want to. I said.

It was like he didn’t hear me. His ice-cold hands that stained my skin with his touch went lower down my waist. My underwear is wet, but it soon slips off like my shirt.

NO.

NO.

NO! I scream.

His free hand that searches my body covers my mouth.

Silencing my screams.

I scream and scream, but nothing works. He positioned himself on top of me, his boxers to the floor. A pain shot through my body. It was worse than anything I ever felt. Tears flowed down my face. Pleading and begging for him to stop only provoked him more. Over and over again the pain was in my body. He was in me. And something came out. His breath was deep. All I heard was him breathing and the static from the TV. He got off of me and placed his boxers on. He lifted me off the bed and pulled back the sheets. Covered me up. Unlocked the door and walked out of the room. Closing the door behind him. I was left there. In that bed. Naked. Cold. Bloody. I cried. I cried because I didn’t know what to do. The sheets were painted with blood. Forever marking what happened that night in that room. My broken body laid there. Numb, still searing with pain, while I cried.

The last thing I saw was the sparkle in his eye.

That smile on his face.

And the static on the TV, before I cried into my sleep.