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This is the very first story I have ever written. It was an assignment I had to do in 5th grade. We went outside to look at the cloud shapes; then we had to look for a cloud that looked some object and interested and write a story about it. I copied this word for word from the paper I wrote it on, so all spelling and grammar mistakes are intended. It was so tempting to change the million and one errors I found. The only thing I did change from the original was the paragraphing so it would be easier to read. I wrote it in a composition book, so everything was just jumbled together. Hope you laugh at this like I did when I was typing it!
The Sky Coaster
Once upon a cloud, there was a little girl called Amy who loved to play on the clouds. She was only 7 years old and she lived with her mean 1o-year old brother Shane and her parents. Every time they went to the amusement park, Amy was always excluded from the big and fun rides. Amy had always wanted to go on the bigger rides but every time her parents pulled her away and told her that as soon as she’s 8, she can go on any ride she desired. Luckily, her birthday was in a week and for her birthday they’re going back to the amusement park.
“I can’t wait!” said Amy.
“You can’t wait for what?” asked Shane with a snigger.
“I can’t wait for my birthday to come! So when we go to the amusement park I get to go on any ride I want!” said Amy joyfully. “So which ride are you going on first, Shane?”
“I’m going on the sky coaster, but I don’t know if you can go on?” said Shane pretending to be nice. “Besides, this ride goes upside down and it twirls and twirls. You know how you get sick easily, and I don’t want you barfing on me.”
Now Shane pushed too far.
“I’ll show I can go on a rollar coaster and I won’t throw up. I bet you $5 that I won’t,” yelled Amy.
Now she pushed too far. Not only did she risk all of her allowance, but she also risked her brother’s.
Each day they kept staring at each other. They didn’t come within 3 ft of each other the whole week. The day before Amy’s birthday, Amy got last minute help from her friend, Kelly.
“Maybe you can keep a bag with you incase you throw up,” said Kelly.
“No I can’t. My brother’s going to search me before we get on,” said Amy.
“Well, I can’t think of anything else, so you’ll just have to go on and face it, but if you are going to barf just try and swallow it,” said Kelly.
That gave Amy an idea. The deal was no to throw up, but swallowing it was perfectly ok. Now Amy had a plan.
The big day came and went. Before they went home, Amy and Shane went on the Sky Coaster. Shane kept teasing her and telling her she could get off when ever she wanted, but Amy was too determined to listen to him. Then it started to go up. It twisted and twirled, but no matter how many times she screamed or got scared, she didn’t feel like throwing up. That made Amy happy, so she sat back and enjoyed the rest of the ride.
When they got off Shane was dazzled.
“Wow, you really made it. I didn’t think you had it in you, but you really made it.”
“I didn’t think I could make it either. Shane, you owe me something,” said Amy with glee.
“Ok, here’s your 5 bucks,” said Shane.
“Let’s go split an ice cream, my treat,” said Amy.
“Ok,” said Shane.
And so they lived happily ever after…forever.
Anyways, please review! I wanna know how much you guys laughed/rolled your eyes/hated/barfed at this thing.
/sits by computer with heated anticipation/
Serena (my other name/alter ego): What an awful thing to saw about your very first story!
Akane: Well, it’s true! Even I was laughing and wanting to just roll my eyes at myself! Err...my fifth grade self!
(Ok…so I talk to myself on here a lot.)
The next chapter will be the much longer, proofread, revised, edited, (and any other synonyms) version. It's scary how much better my writing has gotten.
