Disclaimer: “Shadow On The Sun” belongs to Audioslave.

Author Notes: This is a songfic that I wrote the other day. The more I read it, the more I like it. The story is told from the male’s POV. The parts that aren’t lyrics that are italicized are flashbacks, in case you don’t realize that. Okay.. I think that’s all.

When I met Leiko, she was a little worse than she was at this moment. Lost and abandoned for most of her life, I never imagined how she’d influence my life. Somewhere in her life, she had lost her memory. I was sure it was just in the last few years, since she remembered the last person she was given to. Given to, I make her sound like a possession.

When I met her, she was with a friend. I wouldn’t exactly call the woman she was with a friend. The woman was just someone who would put up with her until they found someone else who would stay with her. She was alone and confused. Since she couldn’t remember her past, it made her feel even worse. She just needed someone to live with, someone who wouldn’t abandon her. I would never forget meeting her.

“Nick, this is Leiko and Leiko, this is Nick. He’s the one you’re going to be with now,” the woman introduced. Leiko glared at me.

“Him? He looks like the last asshole I was stuck with,” she growled.

I smirked slightly. “I’m not that bad.” I said.

“You’re going to stay around just long enough to hurt me, then you’ll be gone again. Why don’t we make this easier on both of us and you just say no now?” she asked.

I turned away, considering it. It would be easy to say that I didn’t want to deal with her. It would have been easy just to walk away but then I turned back. “Look, I could leave you here and leave you for someone else to take… but I can’t do that. I think that you just need someone who won’t take your shit and who will make sure you understand that.” I said.

“What? You’re going to try to own me or something?!” she asked.

“No. I’m just going to teach you that not everyone on this planet wants to abandon you at the first sign of insanity.” I said.

“Oh, now you think I’m crazy?” she asked.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I want to take you with me, if you don’t want to go… then fine.” I said. She turned to the woman who was standing behind her now.

“Make sure you get me up in time to leave,” she said quietly. The woman nodded and I walked away.

She was sure I was going to leave her there. Even the next morning, she was hesitant about coming to meet me. She thought I was going to abandon her there. Made me feel like it had been done to her before.

And I can tell you why
people die alone
I can tell you I'm
A shadow on the sun

Staring at the loss
Looking for the cause
And never really sure
Nothing but a hole
To live without a soul
And nothing to be learned

Leiko was amazing to get to know. At first I was hard on her, trying to get her to break the habit of being so depressed. I got so hard on her, that for a while she refused to speak to me. I had to learn what her expressions meant. That was a little difficult but once I learned, I think that upset her more. She wanted to cut me out completely. That was, until one night.

We were walking along a cliff. Well, more like trying to sneak along a cliff. There were people out ahead of us who kind of wanted us to die. So, we had to be careful. Leiko was still in her no speaking phase, so I didn’t have to worry about her attempting to blow the cover. Suddenly she stopped walking. I turned to see what her problem was. Then I saw what stopped her, there was movement in the bushes not too far away.

“Get over here!” I whispered to Leiko. She didn’t move. I didn’t know if she even heard me. Suddenly a person came flying out of the bushes, straight toward me. He pushed me back, forcing me off the edge of the cliff. I was able to grab onto the edge just at the last moment. He was standing over me on the cliff. I had a feeling he was going to try to knock me off. A second later, he went flying off the cliff. I was surprised to see Leiko standing on the edge of the cliff.

She knelt down, grabbing my arms and helped me back up. When I was on the solid ground, she grabbed me and hugged me. “I’m sorry!” she whispered to me.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because, I’ve been so mean to you. I realized, there in that second, you could have died. Then I would have been alone again,” she whispered.

After that moment, she opened up to me a little more. I kind of felt sorry for her. She was brought into this mess. Of course, I didn’t know how she’d ended up in it. She didn’t either. All she remembered was one day waking up and finding herself locked in a room. She said a man came around to her room, gave her a uniform and told her who she was going to work with. Then she was sent out into the world to fend for herself with whoever her partner was.

Sometimes she got truly depressed. I was sure it was because she couldn’t remember her life. All she knew was this. She said that sometimes she felt like she didn’t have a soul, just an empty space inside of her. She didn’t know where she could start looking for answers to her past. I didn’t know how to help her and the more I stayed around her, the more I wanted to help her.

And I can tell you why
People go insane
I can show you how
You could do the same
I can tell you why
The end will never come
I can tell you I'm
A shadow on the sun

I watched her as she was sitting on the ground, just a few feet away from me. I had brought her here, to escape all the trouble we had. The biggest trouble we were having at the moment, there were people out looking for us for disappearing. I had it planned to make it seem like we were killed. I knew Leiko needed it, time away from everything.

“Nick, I think you need to know something,” she said to me one evening.

“What is it?” I asked, looking up from the map I held in my hands.

“If I don’t get away from this soon, I’m going to go insane,” she said. Nothing about her statement sounded sarcastic. I was pretty sure she meant it.

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

“Why do you think? Everyday we’re being chased and threatened. We can’t even sleep at night without the fear of never waking in the morning. I hate this and you’re the only person who has stuck with me this long. The longer you stick with me, the more I worry about you,” she said.

I looked at her for a few moments before looking away. “Don’t worry about me, Leiko, just worry about yourself. I’ll be fine.” I said. She punched me in the arm.

“Asshole. I’m trying to be nice and you have to be an ass,” she said, walking away. I frowned and followed her.

“C’mon Leiko. Why are you worried about me anyway? Just a few months ago you wanted me to leave you.” I said.

“Well, I changed my mind on how I feel about you!” she exclaimed, still walking away from me.

“Please stop walking away from me! Why would you change how you feel about me?!” I asked. She stopped walking because she got to the edge of the cliff.

“Because! You have allowed me to get to know you and you have gotten to know me. You know more about me than anyone else does! You’re the only person I can trust and the only person I want to trust!” she said. She turned to me and I realized she was crying. That kind of shocked me. I’d never seen her cry before, even when we’d done things that should have brought about emotions like this.

I didn’t know what to say. I stood there, speechless. She turned away again and moved closer to the edge of the cliff. I reached out for her, afraid she was going to do something stupid… like jump. But she slowly sat down on the edge, looking down at the ground below.

“I figured that you’d not say anything. You’re not the kind for emotions, so forget I said anything,” she said. I could tell she was still upset.

I hadn’t forgotten what she said. I hadn’t forgotten how upset she was. It still bothered me because I didn’t want her to be upset. I don’t think she realized what I had done, what lengths I went to, to make sure we could escape for a while. I didn’t care if she realized it or not, I was still glad I’d done it. I was afraid she would actually go insane.

Shapes of every size
Move behind my eyes
Doors inside my head
Bolted from within
Every drop of flame
Lights a candle in
Memory of the one
Who lived inside my skin

I didn’t want to think about when we came back from our “death”. They would probably break us up; give her away to another person. Another person she would have to get to know, who would probably not care about her at all. I laughed to myself and turned away from Leiko. She didn’t even think I cared.

“What’s so damn funny?!” she asked.

“Nothing.” I replied.

“Well, people don’t just laugh at nothing, Nick. What is so funny?” she asked.

“I was just thinking.” I said.

“About what?” she asked.

I sighed, she wasn’t going to give up until I’d told her everything. “About you and me. About how I made it so it looked like we were dead so I could bring you out here… before you went insane.” I said.

“You faked our deaths? And all for me?” she asked, sounding somewhat surprised.

“Yeah, I did. That day you told me that you thought you were going to go insane… I started to plan how I would do it. And when you told me to forget about your emotions and what you said that night… I never did.” I said.

She stood and walked to me. “Nick, I can’t believe you did that. If it was ever known that you did that… you could be killed,” she said. I shrugged and looked away from her, trying to make it seem like I didn’t care.

“Why should I care? You needed a break and I was willing to make sure you got one. It doesn’t matter one way or the other what happens to me.” I said.

Out of nowhere, she suddenly slapped me hard. “You asshole!” she growled at me. I looked at her, rather surprised.

“What was that for?!” I asked.

“How dare you stand there and say to me that you don’t care if you die! If you died, then what would happen to me?!” she exclaimed.

“You’d be given another person to work with.” I said.

She turned away from me. I knew she was crying again. I hated it when I made her cry.

And I can tell you why
People go insane
I can show you how
You could do the same
I can tell you why
The end will never come
I can tell you I'm
A shadow on the sun

When she turned back to me, several minutes had passed. Her eyes were puffy, she had obviously been crying a lot. It always amazed me how she was so silent when she cried. I hardly ever knew when she was.

“You’re really stupid if you think that I’d just stand back and let them kill you,” she finally said.

“Oh?” I asked.

“Yes. If they killed you, then I wouldn’t go on. I wouldn’t allow them to give me to someone else. I would be dead before they got the chance,” the calmness in her voice almost scared me.

“They’re not going to kill me because no one is going to find out what we did. We’ll just say that we were…” I was stopped when she suddenly leaned up against me and pressed her lips to mine. It was just for a brief moment and she backed away from me. She turned and walked away.

“Leiko?” I asked, walking after her.

“No. Our conversation is done. I obviously have been mistaken in believing that you really cared about me. For the last few months, all I’ve done is love you. And I guess you don’t love me,” she said. Before I could say anything else, she had sprinted off into the woods.

I stood there for a moment, contemplating whether I should follow her. After a moment, I decided that I probably should. I didn’t want her to get hurt and I wanted to talk to her. So, I took off into the woods where I’d seen her running.

I followed where I saw her footsteps until they stopped. I looked around, not seeing her for a moment. “Leiko? Where are you? I’m sorry about what I said, I didn’t mean it. I really do…” I noticed someone walking toward me. I backed up a few steps.

“You looking for her?” he motioned to the side. I looked in the direction he had motioned. I saw a man holding Leiko up. Blood was dripping from her bowed head. I started toward her, when the man who had spoken to me held up a gun.

“Take another step and I’ll kill you,” he said.

“Is she alive? What did you do to her?” I asked.

He smirked an ugly smirk. “She’s dead. We hit her in the head, several times with this gun. She died rather quickly. Now it’s your turn,” he said.

“Why? Who are you? What did we do to you?” I asked.

He smirked and took a few more steps toward me, until the end of the gun was pressed against my head.

“You abandoned this gang. You know you’re not supposed to do that. She would’ve lived, had she not fallen in love with you. Now she’s dead and you’re about to die,” he said.

I looked over at Leiko one more time. She loved me. I loved her. I hadn’t gotten the chance to tell her. She died thinking that I didn’t care about her. I looked back at the man standing in front of me. I closed my eyes. I heard the man take a few steps away from me.

“Say goodbye.” I heard him say. The next sound and last sound I heard was the gunshot.