The sadness in me moves up

To form a ball in my chest

That clouds my heart

And stops the blood to my head,

Leaving an ache strong enough,

To let me know I'm still alive,

To let me know that I'm without you.

As this empty ache fills me

From holding on too tight to hope,

That maybe one day you'll be back

That I will be able to fall down and cry and scream,

And that you will catch me in your arms,

You're so far from me.

Restless fidgeting,

Staring at plastic stars on the ceiling,

Fading, pleading for light,

Wondering what could possibly lie,

In the galaxy of fakeness of the ceiling…

Wondering how it is you can sleep,

When life is so disconcerting,

And when you've been crying such a long time,

That your tears have disappeared.

It cannot be fixed,

Just like an itch that can't be scratch,

Some strange sickness that lives under your skin,

And.Slowly.Eats.You.Alive.