Unchecked Reality

She’s flailing,

Head just above water.

She doesn’t turn at my screams-

She’s blind to me.

And I’m failing

To save her

As I myself tread water,

Waves washing over us both

Burning my eyes and throat.

She’s changed,

Morphed into someone strangely familiar,

Someone who’s lost their sparkle, their light,

Someone I barely know,

Drifting away in the sea

Completely out of sight.

Only then do I wake,

Shivering and drenched in fear,

My face wet with fresh tears.

Too close to reality.

Too close to life

Where my family hates me,

My best friend out of reach.

When I look in the mirror,

I don’t recognize the eyes

Over-flowing with self-hate

And a longing to die

Behind salty, bitter tears.