Hello...

Well, you've finally made it to the end of the story (and so have I--wow--after how many years?) and I hope you've enjoyed reading Jump as much as I have enjoyed writing it. To every single person who has read or is going to read this story: Thank you so much! Over a hundred reviews, for a story I never dreamed would be worth it. I am so thankful for all your comments and encouragement throughout the course of this story. I'm especially grateful to those of you who read and reviewed it back in the days when it was still called Stealing Glances, when it had hardly any publicity at all. And before I even put it up on FictionPress (Thank you Emily; you were probably the only person reading it back then). I honestly would not have continued, at least not at the rate I did over these past few months, without that support.

Namely: scotti, Ms Wingit, Lily Among Thorns, lux in tenebris, Tracie2004, under the influence, Mariella, Freaks For Jesus, totem girl, jedlee07, Jennie MR, Dana 360, Unique Child, Sandhara, lirael, orangejello, Jodzter, givelifeyourall, et, and Lindsey, thank you all for reviewing.

Also I have to say thanks to Michael, who will probably never read this, for embarrassing me into giving this story another shot after two or three years. That really made all the difference.

Anyway, the whole reason I'm giving this story an afterword is that I'd like to explain a few things about the story itself and why I chose to write about the things I did. I know the ending probably came as a shock, but the truth is, I knew how it was going to end from the very beginning. It was bittersweet to write the chapters near the end, because though I knew what was coming, I struggled with it a lot. But I think more can be learned from the ending the way it is than if I had changed it. As much as Veronica's character has been truly antagonistic throughout the story, I wanted to convey the idea that no one, not even Veronica, is beyond redemption--that there are no good people or bad people, only human beings together. And that is what Ryan hoped she could see.

I chose to write about the abuse in Ryan's past because the idea of a male being the victim is rarely the public perception, but it is surely as much a reality as the abuse of a female. Since there is this assumption that "guys don't get raped," Ryan has much more of a reason to mask his feelings and his past, and there is more fear and shame involved in admitting his case to anyone. I wanted to understand what it would be like for a teenage boy struggling with this kind of thing, and I did some internet research on abusive relationships to see the characteristics of abusers and victims, but that is really as far as the research went. There wasn't anything terribly solid, like a personal account, for me to go off of. So I entered into Ryan's character and made his feelings as real as I could, to the best of my ability. I hope it worked.

I actually began writing this story when I was in high school (freshman or sophomore year), and the characters reflected myself (Jen) and others around me (Ryan). Jen dealt with depression similar to the way I did that year. It haunts her but she carries on with life. Ryan, on the other hand, can't break free from his past. His character was highly idealized by myself, not really based on anything but my imagination under the surface, but I've come to love his character because of this. He is like me in some ways--but he has endured suffering on a much greater scale.

After I came back to work on the story after a few years, the other characters besides Jen and Ryan began to develop much more (as did my writing...I hope). Val, annoying as she is, is actually very much like me. I had a lot of fun expanding her character into this "sedated punk" type, anti-corporate loudmouth who is also somehow Jen's best friend. And her weird relationship to Jake was all a happy accident. For some reason, the juxtaposition of her strangeness next to Jake's happy-go-lucky, designer brand life was irresistible to me.

"Reconnect" was probably my favorite chapter to write. It was raining that week.

My personal favorite character is Ryan--Val is a close second. I invested so much in Ryan's character that it really made me love him. And my hope is that the readers love him, too. Jen is a sort of channel through which the reader can connect to Ryan, communicate with him. But he is really the one who holds the entire story together.

Basically I wrote this story for fun, instead of worrying over the style or the grammar or the technical side of it like I usually would do. And it turned out well that way. I don't think this is praiseworthy writing or anything. It's actually just a lot of emotion, sort of articulated and arranged on a page. I hope you were able to connect with it at some level.

If anyone is interested, here is the final track list for the "soundtrack" to this story:

1. work . . . jars of clay
2. how to save a life . . . the fray
3. whatever she wants . . . jars of clay
4. hero . . . superchick
5. perfect . . . simple plan
6. only hope . . . switchfoot
7. bleed together . . . lovedrug
8. silence . . . jars of clay
9. collide . . . howie day
10. let your love be strong . . . switchfoot
11. breathing air again . . . robbie seay band
12. yesterdays . . . switchfoot
13. life is beautiful . . . vega4

And you can find the character sketches I did for this story at hannahsketch . diaryland . com

Thanks for reading!

- Hannah