The cat advanced, feeling no need to hide its authoritative swagger.

‘Have I done something wrong, officer?’ I frowned, leaning one elbow slightly out the window, watching it approach.

‘Why do you think that you’re always innocent?’ It had come to a stop right outside the driver door and was peering in at me with frightful intensity. I tilted back a little, staring transfixed at its burlap eye patch. Sensing my hesitation, it grinned deviously, displaying a brilliant row of moldy (but oddly sharp) fangs below one voluminous green eye.

‘Pardon?’

‘You promised to feed me, citizen.’ It leaned into the window and I away until my head connected painfully with the stick shift. We were nose to nose. I could feel its soft warm belly moving ever so slightly against my own queasy stomach.

‘I’m sorry, I do not recall,’ I said faintly. Lie. I was lying to an officer. I waited with bated breath as it stared away for a second, brow furrowed, pondering what to do next. It seemed to have not expected that I say this. Did it not expect that I could lie? Had I never lied before? I was quite sure I had, though I couldn’t recall an instance at this very moment. I was pretty certain that I had lied before.

Its whiskers twitched uncertainly and it withdrew from my car, staring oddly at me. I sat up slowly. I wasn’t sure what to make of this jarring look, wasn’t sure how it could even manage such a look with only one eye to deliver with.

‘But she asked you, and you had promised to feed me,’ it said in a perplexed tone. I shook my head. ‘I heard you,’ it said, with more confidence. Once again, I shook my head.

It began pacing, circling the car with intentional deliberation. Its whiskers bristled. ‘You’ve been running all this time,’ it said angrily.

‘No I haven’t,’ I insisted. Lie lie. ‘I’ve been out looking for something.’ True.

It blinked. ‘For two years?’

Am never safe. Was always looking. ‘Yeah. She never mentioned it, I promise.’ Lie lie lie.

‘But what of your license plate?’ it asked sadly. My license plate. I opened the door and rose cautiously out of the car. What about it? I though. Pushing the door shut, I walked around slowly to the back of the car.

F33D CH1PPY

‘Please step away and turn toward the vehicle with your hands on your head,’ it said tonelessly.