Kings And Queens Of Dysfunctionality

By: Danny Dodger

Chapter 1

Danny Dodger

Freedom, oh sweet freedom was here at last. This is my first day out of rehab right in time for my 17th birthday, and guess what I was in for. Oh that’s right drugs. I'm one of the most messed up kids you'll ever meet and the names Danny Dodger. Don't let the name foul you I'm a girl. I got the reputation as the bad ass, why. Funny you ask I was going to tell you anyway. I hate school, and it sucks. Therefore I do what ever I can to get expelled. But my stupid parents keep paying them money to keep me in. I even went to the extent to staple a teacher's hand to a desk. I can proudly say, the teacher quite when he found out I was coming back. Stupid twit wouldn't stop asking me questions. Any way badass right, well I smoke. No not cigarettes. Come on think real hard, what did I just get out of rehab for, DING. DING, we got a winner. That's right weed, I'm in love with it. I even nick named it, tweedy. Ha get it tweedy. T-weed-y. I crack my self up I wish I could marry the damn plant. Huh oh yeah the story, right okay um. I'm thinking hold on. Oh I got it, SCORE. Sorry I have a short-term memory. Well actually I have A.D.H.D, yup Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder.

So here I am walking home from rehab, oh did I forget to mention my parents hate me. Well they do, and that’s why I'm walking. Yeah picture this, big white house and a pretty picked fence with beautiful flowers along the sidewalk, and a big back yard. That's my house, with my Stepford wives mom, and my big executive dad. You'd think with parents like those I might have had a good childhood. Don't get me wrong I did, but it was my choice to come out like this. I can't stand perfection, it's discussing. I hate kids, there gross. I think conformunism is evil and should be outlawed. Oh and cheerleaders are the reincarnations of the devil. What I'm not crazy, just a little insane. Hey it's like I always say, "Physicists don't make you sane, they make you feel better about being crazy". Come on that is so true and you know it.

I'm board. What about you? Yeah I thought so; let's move on to what I'm really like. I cry every night, I hate myself for what I've become. I get high to forget it all, it's the only time I'm happy. I don't see it as a problem but a solution. I don't have the balls to kill myself, I'm afraid to die. Funny, that’s what I really want. The truth is I really wish someone would just be there for me, but I keep pushing him or her away. I don't mean to I just do.

Well now that's all behind me because I now have a real circle of friends. Actually we've always been friends; I forgot anyone could really care for me. We'll there's six of us if you include myself, all different in our own ways, all having a problem or two. That's what we're here for though. That's how we all got here. I meet them all about two years back. That's when all the drama in my life started. Their names well let them introduce them selves. Let them tell you there story. Don't worry I'll be back. Talk to my friends while I'm gone okay. Well I really don't care if it's okay or not so, yeah. See ya when I see ya, PEACE.

I gently tap my pen against my desk as I sigh. I look up at my professor. The big circular glasses on his round chubby face. As he talks I see his double chin shake. Disgusting. I make a face as I turn to look out the window. Eh... Looks cold. Just greaaat. I have to walk home too.

As soon as the bell rings I quickly pick up my things and leave, hearing the professor shouting over the scraping of chairs against the floor and students talking. I maneuver my way through other students as I make my way towards my locker to deposit my books, then I head outside. I see all the cliques standing around. The jocks, the preps, the Goths, the emo's, the punks, the geeks and nerds- they're now hanging out in packs so the don’t get beaten up- and finally the cheerleaders. I turn the corner and they're out of site.

Well, I guess you would like to know my name hmm? Rebecca Heart. Yes Heart. What's the wrong with that? Nothing Ahem...Anyways... Lets get to my 'problem'. I'm bulimic. To make it clear, I feel guilty whenever I eat.

Although this probably wouldn’t of happened if it wasn't for my father. Every night he would beat me and call me fat when I was little and well now... I'm bulimic. That's what makes me different. Its what makes me strange... That's my problem. Other than that I'm 'normal' or as you would call it. I have blonde moments. I have sugar highs, and I have times when I'm just down right stupid, just like everyone else. I live in a house, with my mother, and I'm not a goody-two-shoes, although I am pretty smart, but they're was a time in my life when I was failing.

But when my mother had found out I was bulimic, she freaked. She sent me to the school councilor, to see if he could help me 'fix' my little problem. That didn’t turn out well though, and I landed myself in an out of school.

But that out of school ended up changing my life. That’s when I had met 5 wonderful people. Although I had tried to push each of them away at times, we had all gotten through the drama. Each having there own problems, but hey, isn't that how life works? I meet Danny a couple years back when I was skipping school. She introduced me to the gang. Okay so we’re not a gang, well maybe. Like Scooby’s. You know Scooby Doo. Like when Fred says "come on gang". I’m gonna shut up know.

Insert nervous gum popping here

Okay so on with the meetings, but beware. Johnny is a little of his rocker if you know what I mean.

Insert crazy finger swirl here with whistle

Note that this part of the report of Johnny had to be submitted by his peers...

"Johnny? Yeah, he was always crazy; in fact I could have sworn he smoked something, but recent events showed me that he doesn't. I overheard the nurse talk about his health and how everything was fine, just was insane..." - of high school.

"Hah! He was the funniest kid in school! Always thinking he was in some fantasy game, it was soooo amusing! But, there's not much else about him... He wears a staff across his back, which he carved himself, and uses it to attack things that 'attack' him. Most of the time it's random items falling off shelves..." - from high school.

"It all started when he was just young. We allowed him to play all the video games he wished; all of them were Fantasy games. He got obsessed, but we didn't see any harm in it! After a while, these games seemed to shape what he saw and did... we can't even take the games away from him now that he's so strong. I just hope he doesn't hurt anyone..." -Johnny’s Parents.

Now from Johnny’s point of view.

I was marching from my little cottage on the outskirts of our village, heading to the academy. There they teach us some basic knowledge to live in this chaotic world. I'm so glad I have my staff to protect me from any attackers.

While coming up the bells are banged and banged, telling us 5 minutes to get to our positions. I ran up the inclined hill, over the drawbridge and through the front gates right passed all of the other soldiers-in-training.

As I ran into the room, the warden (teacher) said, "Johnny, no running in the halls..."

I reply, "Sorry Sir, it won't happen again," but it will.

"Yes, of course. Take your seat..." I sit down next to my friends, I’m so glad to know them! Whenever I’d be in a rough Jam, they'd help me out the best they could, even with their problems. Danny one of the fairest maidens I’ve ever been blessed to be graced with. She came to my rescue in the middle of a battle. Riding in on her black stallion she fought away the no good ‘ers who were attacking me. We’ve been close ever since.

A messenger walks into the room and whispers into the warden's ear. Then he turns to me, "Johnny, the 'special trainer' would like to see you..." Really the special trainer was supposed to be some sort of psychic to help me 'come back to reality.' I think he's gone crazy, I’m perfectly fine.

So I walked over to the barred, dungeon doors and opened it, walked in and closed it behind me. I found a torch and lit it on another before walking down the steps into the dark, damp dungeon. The guard greeted me and let me into the cell, holding the psychic. Now he would talk to me about stuff about my mind, but it's completely gibberish! But there was one thing that stood out each time...

He would say, "Johnny, you must focus and awaken yourself. Become what you are and not who you think you are." I don't know quite what he means there, but that's okay. That was a typical day here at the academy; it was enjoyable to say the least.

"I'm sorry to report that Johnny is incurable from his physiological disease. Forever he will see and understand everything as his fantasy world." –Psychiatrist

Sage Swan

I wake up, another day, another way to be depressed. Another time to hide behind a smile, or if I just can't do that, hide myself away in my room with the music up full volume until dad goes to bed and I have to turn it down.

I lie in bed, awake but lacking sufficient energy to get up and drag myself to the shower, where the scalding water will run over my body and I will stare at my razor wondering if I should, if it will hurt enough, if it will leave a scar.

Ah, crap. Why am I depressed? I ask myself, wondering for half a second why the heck I was asking a stupid question like that.
It was one of many questions I ask myself, one I do know the answer to, but wished I didn't. I have CFS, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I also have manic depression.
Having chronic fatigue means being tired a lot of the time; I always seem to lack energy in one way or another. And being manic-depressive means that I'm angry a lot, but without enthusiasm.

My brother, mother, and uncle all have chronic fatigue so I guess I was destined to have it. But it still sucks shit.

I've seen many doctors and tried many alternative remedies. None of which worked too well. But I at least know I am allergic to most anti-biotic, anti-depressants give me a rash and homeopathic flower remedies don't harm me, they just don't help me either.
I tried acupuncture and I can say I was less than enthusiastic about going the first time. It helps a bit but what I like most is having the time on my own. Sure, I'm alone a lot of the time, but the little acupuncture rooms are very relaxing. There's always nice smelling incense and soft, spiritual music in the background. Very contrasting to the rock and metal I usually listen to.

Every time I mention having an acupuncture appointment to my friends they look at me funny.

Oh yeah, my friends anyway, because of that I went through a long, long, and by long I mean two years, period of not seeing anyone but family. So when I met my friends, it was the best thing that had happened since I was diagnosed with CFS and MD. Danny I remember I meet her first; I fell out of a swing at the park while I was swinging alone. I woke up in the passenger side of her black mustang being driven to McDonald’s. She smiled at me and said, “Let’s get you sumpin to eat eh’. Then maybe you’ll feel better”.

A lot of other teenagers might look at us and say we're a bunch of freaks. Which we may be, but I wouldn't trade friends for the world. Seriously. Well I guess its time I had that shower.

Lets start with my name, its really my nickname, but if I told you my real name you’d say it wrong, well I just don’t feel like telling you, just call me Gainy. Truthfully and honestly I have no problem, except for the whole being a compulsive lair thing. I got it all going for me. I always looked like an innocent little girl. Why is that? Let me tell you, I always fool people with my appearances. My brown eyes would be glossy and ready to cry at any moment, and my smile would always be sweet. I really don’t know why those idiots oh so easily fall for them. I act all sweet and nice it sickens me! Inside I’m already waiting to bite someone. You might not be able to find me in this costume of mine, but I’m one of those girls that actually wear black and even pants that are ripped and faded some around here. I don’t really get what’s so bad about it, but as long as it annoys those perfectionists, I don’t care. They’re twisted and evil Actually ever since 4 years ago when I was ten, I started seeing people looking twisted and as foolish as ever.

I don’t really have any disease, or at least I don’t think I do. I’m just sick of perfection and complete disorder. I’ve been pretending to enjoy every moment of this hell, my parents think I’m still the same little girl the raised, but really, it’s just a mask. Id get sick of this world and start to watch people hurt themselves maybe with a bit of help of course. I'd laugh inwardly of their pain and have an outer shield of false worry. These people that live all around me are like perfection it’s scary. So now you want to now about 4 years ago. All right, be warned it’s not pretty.

All the psycho doctors say I was traumatized from seeing my cousin murdered in front of me, stabbed right in front of me. I was hiding, just watching my best friends life drift away from his body. It scarred me for life, and everyone tried to make me happy or so they think by compressing more perfection on me. I did hate total disorder, but I couldn’t stand to see another yard with people doing everything synchronized like from A Wrinkle in Time. They’ve been trying to push it upon me, trying to make me forget my imperfect cousin that I loved so. It wasn’t long before I realized these people were idiots for even trying in the first place. They’re twisted in their perfect way, where all the girls become preps, where all the boys wear sweater vests, where every kid is a straight A student, and when becoming a teenager makes you feel trapped. These guys are idiots for not sensing it now, but I’m trying hard to live in this hellhole. But I still do well in school, but people sometimes think I'm bad because I’m different from their perfection.

My parents are thinking about hiring a psychiatrist for me. But that wont help, even if the guys actually normal. It’s too late for me anyways. I‘ve already seen the insanity in this world. But that’s what my friends are for! Yes there are more of us crazy people. I’m pretty sure you already heard of us. I’m not sure who’s more insane and who’s the saner person out of the six of us, but it’s not bad. Danny, she found me one day. I was in the back of the restaurant I work at crying. It happens every once in a while. She sat with me for a long while. And when my boss threatened to fire me for taking such a long brake she took him around the corner and ‘talked’ to him. When she came back he followed his head down. He apologized for being heartless and that I could have the rest of the day of with pay. That was reason enough for me and Danny to be best friends, but there was more. But that is for later. Not now.

Ahh, such a wonderful day for a fight isn't it? I always love these ones. See, that guy, standing by the willow tree, he was very rude to the new girl. Everybody with brains knows better than to bother anyone I say is under my protection, and she was under my protection. He just had to push it. I do wish he would hurry up and get his baboon butt over here, I have other appointments. He finally started over, ready for his beating. He took a swing at me, I dodged it. He tried again and I hit him first. Three strikes and he's out like a light. Weak

Perhaps I should give you my name. I'm Jay Linn, though you won't hear my last name too often, its Natila. Most people call me Jay. As you may have guessed I like to fight. It's really not a good habit to get into, but that's how things are. I am probably most at home in a fight at the park. I don't really like the city, or those greedy people in it, if they would just keep their heads off of pieces of paper and metal the world would be so much better. The kids, however, aren't as bad. They are crueler than anything else. Why last week I saw this kid beating a boy that was dressed a little funny and weaker than him, of course I wasn't going to allow that. I broke the bullies arm and popped his shoulder out of the socket. It's a sickening sound really. I hate when kids are like that. So full of energy, with no good use to put it to. Honestly, they are the ones who should be sent to boot camp, not me.

Maybe I shouldn't get on peoples nerves so often. If I could just keep my mouth shut I wouldn't get into some of these messes. In bio, for instance, the teacher was telling us about evolution, I personally think it's a load of bull, and told the teacher so, in less nice words. I got detention for the rest of the semester and suspended for a week. These silly teachers, they think they are so high and mighty, especially the guys, and the look on their faces when I catch up to them after school and give them a bloody lip is priceless. Although most of them get me in trouble for that. But it's not like they don't deserve it. Oh well, that's the story of my life. The thing is, every time I get into a fight, which I hardly ever start, I get in trouble! I keep on telling them its self-defense. Some times I only get one punch in, my face is bloodied up (I tend to give them a free punch for their self esteem) and I get blamed for starting the fight. I never draw first blood! The teacher just happens to walk up as soon as I get one punch in. honestly it is rather bothersome.

Mom and Dad taught me to fight, for the most part. They want me to be able to defend my self, but they still think I'm a little kid. Geez! I'm 17 for goodness sakes, hello! I could go off on my own and still make it. Out side of that prison they call school, I'm the one the bad guys are scared of!

My friends (yes I have friends.) are a very odd bunch of people, though that isn't hard to tell. Don't tell them I said that. If they take it the wrong way then I might have to hurt one of them, or more. It was just a little while ago when I first meet Danny and her friends. I was walking down the streets and I herd I fight going on. I rushed to see her slamming her fist into the skull of some dude. Next to her stood limply another guy. When the one she was beating friends showed up I jumped in to help. She smiled at me with a flash of white brilliance. Afterward she helped the limp guy into her car and turned back to me, then said, “Names Danny, Danny Dodger. You gotta nice left hook”. She patted my back, “Get in, Johnny will want to meet you. Plus he could use a dude to talk to. He gets all twitchy talking about this kind of stuff with me”. I remember just nodding and slipping into the back of her car.

Author's Note: Each charter is based of a true person in my life, they have written there own little part. All pieces have been edited by me. This contiues until chapter 4 where I take complete control. I have changed the polt line several times. So here's hoping you like this one.

- Danny Dodger -