when days aren't worth
chewing
through the
restraints
i always thought that you'd
be there
waiting with a
pocket knife
to cut them for me so i don't
hurt
my teeth
but now that
cigarettes
have taken control along with
baby brothers
who spend too much time on the
streets
with kids who spend too much time with
drugs
i've seem to lost my
best friend
though it isn't
"my fault"
i don't know if i'll
survive
another hour
let alone another
night
with this
demon
that inhabits my head that is
no muse
no guardian angel
no "someone here to help"
no "fucking best friend"
screaming at me at how much i did
wrong
with her "ha ha has" and "la la las"
that i'm such a "fucking ha ha asshole"
for actually letting you
fall
so
deep
though it isn't
"my fault"
i know that i had a
chance
to save you
to tell you it wasn't
right
to keep you
away
from the
shit
you're doing now
maybe the mum's were
right
that i'm such a
"fucking la la horrible influence"
though it isn't "my fault"
i could blame my inperfections on anyone.
even you
but noooo
haha fucking no
because that wouldnt be
"best friend-ly"
would it?
though it isn't
"my fault"
i care to say
i'm sorry
though it isn't
"my fault"
i just can't find you within
(the ha ha fucking fake)
yourself
(that you have
sadly
set
out)