Just Upon a Smile

“Alex! There’s a table over there that’s needin’ a check!” yelled Hans across the kitchen as the young high school senior crossed it toward him. Alex just nodded and smiled at the graying man as he passed, walking through the crowded restaurant to the table.

“Hey, you guys need a check?” he asked, puffing out his chest as he noticed a boy about his age in the seat next to his mother. He had no idea why he did so…he was just so full of pride he guessed he had to. It was his turf and he was in control.

The woman looked up at him with a pleasant smile on her pretty face and replied, “Yes, we’d love one.”

Alex nodded and ran off to get her one, a slight pink rising to his cheeks. The boy had looked at him—had smiled at him—he sighed, knowing he was just a bit strange and nothing could ever come out of his stupid job at this stupid place. He had told himself he could make it through his senior year without his parents, without anyone. His aunt had tried to take him in but he had turned her down. Why? Was he afraid? Afraid of moving; of having to go away from everything? Or was it just something else? Having to explain everything again; that one chance that they wouldn’t understand. There was always that one chance wasn’t there?

He took the check over to the table and set it down, turning away and taking off his Pizza Hut hat, running a hand through his short, dirty blond hair. Hold it together Alex, only ten more minutes and you’re outta here for the night, ten more minutes, one more table. He walked over to one of his tables, a man maybe of 24 sat there, his bleached bangs hanging down in front of his eyes, fixed on the tip he had just put down. He stood, brushing past Alex without even so much as a passing glance, his mind preoccupied with his jacket that he pulled on roughly, walking out the door.

Alex gasped as he picked up the tip, three one hundred dollar bills lay in his hand with a note reading, Hey kid, nice ass use this how you want, go buy yourself something nice, maybe a little black dress I can meet you in next time. Call me, 555-5609.

Alex swallowed he’d never been approached like this before, should he really call him? Then there was the whole problem of his sexual orientation. There was no doubt in his mind he was different, a queer in some peoples’ language, a gay in others’ but how did this one know? He quickly pocketed the bills and the note, taking the little tray up and grabbing his coat, saying goodbye to Ally who unfortunately had the late shift tonight, and walking out the door to his car.

Once he got home he shed his coat and sat on his sofa in the house that was once his parents and set the three bills on the coffee table in front of him, the note as well. He sat back and stared at them, his left hand going over and picking up the phone. Should I call? Should I just disappear from existence? If I don’t he’ll just come back and find me again! Crap, crap, crappity, crap! I’ve never been in this kind of situation! Help! His mind reeled and his fingers quivered over the telephone’s buttons, needing to push those seven digits, needing to know what this was all about. Finally Alex swallowed his pride, and unleashed his courage as he gently pushed the first three buttons. Then he quickly slammed down the phone catching another thought on its way past. What if he wasn’t looking for me? What if it was for Ally? She had the late shift, and she’s attractive…besides who would want to see me in a dress? But then, I was his waiter, what’s the matter with me? Of course it was for me, how could the blond even have known Ally? She didn’t even come close to his table. He sighed once again and picked up the phone, this time actually dialing the all of the seven numbers and putting it to his ear.

“Hello?” asked the familiar drawl.

“H-hi, um, was it me you wanted…from…Pizza Hut?” he asked, not knowing what to say and sounding quite awkward.

The blond laughed, sending waves of tingles down Alex’s spine. “Yes, you were the one, so, are ya gonna buy that dress?” he asked, laughing at this then continuing, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t just leave you there, you looked so desperate so I had to do something…”

Alex frowned, “Well you could have just asked me out! Why’d you have to do that anyway? How would you know if I was gay or not?”

“You were cute.”

This confused Alex, why would he just come on to a complete stranger and say they were cute? That wasn’t a reason for knowing! That was just some stupid sentence that meant nothing, Alex had been told that by tons of girls; that meant nothing! “That’s not good enough!”

“I thought you were cute so I wanted you…and apparently I hooked you. Was it the money and are you straight?”

Alex hesitated, he didn’t know what to answer with, but hey, the truth had got him this far, he could go a bit more. “I am gay—but it wasn’t the money, it was—honestly it was the dress.”

The blond chuckled and replied, “Yeah, I thought it’d catch ya, by the way, my name’s Michael. And by your name tag I take yours as Alexander right?”

Alex fingered the tacky plastic tag pinned to his shirt and told him yes, staring off into space at the picture on the TV of him and his now dead brother standing next to him with his arm around him, smiling. Tears spilled out of his eyes and his throat seized.

There was a pause in the other end as Alex sniffled and Michael’s voice sounded suddenly urgent, “Alex? You okay buddy? Hey, are you crying? I’m sorry if I upset you man, I really am, what’d I say?”

Alex managed to choke out a ‘nothing’ but sniffled a little bit more as more tears spilled over his reddening cheeks. He suddenly felt so alone, completely alone, and Michael’s voice sounded distant to him…so far away. Here he was, a queer with no one to turn to but some mysterious man from Pizza Hut who probably didn’t want to be his friend…probably wanted just to rape him and leave him on the street. Why? Why was he doing this?

“Alex? Man…really, was it me? You know what Alex? I think to cheer you up we should go out somewhere sometime, just the two of us…the movies? Dinner? I’ll pay, I promise. Hey dude, it’s only like…eight and I’ll bet you haven’t had dinner, just give me your address and I’ll come get you, it can be just…a friendly thing, I’ll take you ta dinner boy, whatta ya say?”

Alex sniffed and huffed. It was true he hadn’t yet had dinner…and it didn’t sound too bad to him. There may be some ulterior motive hidden things deep inside this proposition, but he couldn’t help agreeing and giving the caring man his address. He knew it was wrong and he knew he was putting himself in danger, but he couldn’t help it. As he hung up he smiled to himself the last of his tears escaping and dripping off his chin to the crotch of his pants. He looked at the small wet spot with mild interest, looking kind of dazed. He sat that way for almost ten minutes before he heard a knock on the thick oak door. He stood suddenly, ignoring the pain in his overworked legs, and opening the door. There stood Michael, his brow sweaty and his hands clenching.

“Dude, I was so nervous, I thought you were crying over me, something I said…” he said, wrapping his arms around the smaller 18 year old. His arms tightened around him as Alex wrapped his own around Michael. “C’mon, let’s get you dinner.”

They both climbed into Michael’s pickup truck and he drove off toward the lights of the city. As he drove one hand fell to his pocket where he pulled out a pack of Newport Lights sticking one it his mouth and shoving the rest back. He then fumbled for his lighter but Alex got his first, lighting up Mike’s cig and relishing the grateful look on the older man’s face.

Mike sucked in, let it out and said jokingly, “Didn’t know you smoked.”

Alex shook his head and grinned for perhaps the first time that night, “No, I don’t I just keep it around…it was my brother’s.”

Michael nodded, giving him an anxious look then turning away again, staring out at the road and opened his window, the chilly breeze stinging Alex’s cheeks. He just stared out the window at the city’s mesmerizing lights flashing past. Please let him be true, oh please, oh please…I can’t handle anything else anymore, so please just let him be good. He thought, stealing a glance at Michael, who just continued driving, his cigarette perched on his lip almost comically like they did in those Rocky and Bugs Bunny cartoons. Alex smiled secretly, almost knowing, this night would be special…somehow Michael would make it special, all he had to do was believe.

They sat at the small table in the grand Italian restaurant and Alex stared. He hadn’t been this pampered since his parents died, and he had no idea how to react to this man’s kindness. “Michael, how are you paying?” he asked, not managing a Thanks…just that.

“No problem man, I get mailed money from the guys I work for…see, I work at home, over the net. Don’t worry it’s nothing bad, just a computer specialist,” he replied, grinning at Alex’s wonder. “Ah yes, and you’re welcome.”

Alex nodded, blushing and looking down at his knees. “Sorry,” he murmured.

“Nah dude, sorry for makin’ ya feel uncomfortable, it’s my fault…so, what happened?”

Alex just stared at him with a confused look plastered on his young face.

Michael elaborated, this time it was his turn to blush. “What was up with the crying pal? I felt so bad cause I thought it was me…”

Alex wiped his eyes, for they had gathered a few extra tears. He collected his backbone and started, “Well…”

It had been one long day and he and his family had been so tired, coming back from his aging grandmother’s place at the nursing home about five miles from his home. He was sitting in the back, his father driving, his mother in the seat ahead of him and his older brother, poking him childishly in the seat next to him. He whacked his brother and sighed, staring out the window. His junior year wasn’t going so well and as he reached the end he wasn’t quite sure of his future.

It all happened so fast, the car took a sudden swerve and his mother screamed, it was cut short however by the sound of the windshield smashing in. Alex’s heart stopped, his body paralyzed in fear. A sickening rip that would haunt his dreams forever invaded his ears as a piece of twisted metal ripped its way through the seat in front of him. As the thought of his mother struck him a scream escaped his lips, not even noticing that if that piece of metal had come three inches closer he wouldn’t be the only one who would live.

His brother had made no noise as his throat was slit swiftly with a shard of glass that landed next to the boy’s hand, soaked in his brother’s blood. His head twisted around to see his brother, his eyes open, staring lifelessly up at the blood-spattered car roof. Another scream escaped the boy as the car made one final spin, sending his father’s head slamming into the steering wheel and his into the window, knocking him unconscious.

When he awoke from his dreamless sleep, he was looking up into the light blue eyes of a doctor, telling him he had had a concussion but he would be fine…he was told later however when he asked of his parents that they and his brother had died before the ambulance was even dispatched. Yes…because I watched them die. He had thought, tears not yet welling up, he wasn’t over the shock of what he had seen just yet…it wasn’t until he had returned home with his aunt that he had truly broken.

Michael stared at him awestruck, his eyes wide with shock. His hand’s took Alex’s and held them over the table. Alex’s heart leapt, a person who understood? Who he could talk to? “I-I’m sorry Alex,” he managed to choke out, his hand’s tightening their grip on Alex’s.

“It’s alright Michael…I’ve never told anyone the whole story and I feel good that…it’s off my chest now. I guess that’s all that I needed huh?”

Michael closed his eyes almost making it look painful. “Yeah…I just…feel so useless not being able to do anything to release you’re pain…it’s just too much for one person to handle. I’m glad you decided to share it with me, I’d love to share your burden with you…”

Alex’s tears let themselves go and by the end of dinner he had no regrets of letting Michael in on his pain. In fact he felt really good about it, letting someone in was the greatest thing he had done he thought, now perhaps he could share other things…his dreams, ambitions…anything.

After dinner, the parking lot was almost deserted, and Alex felt Michael’s warm hand take his. He smiled up at the older man, and saw him smile back…a genuine smile, with no hidden motives…nothing evil behind that perfect smile. They reached Alex’s house, no incident, Michael holding the boy’s hand the entire time.

As they stood on Alex’s porch, Michael gazed down into the younger’s eyes. Alex gazed back dreamily. How could someone so mysterious at first be so great in the sense of sharing everything with? How could this happen to him? Was Michael a gift from God? An angel sent down to carry his burdens along with him? “Michael?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you an angel?” he asked, blushing at his words.

Michael smiled and held the boy to his chest, letting him hear his steadily beating heart. “You hear that Alex?” he asked and the boy nodded, “That heart is one, not from an angel, but one for an angel, for you Alex…and even though I just met you…I already know how much you mean to me…you mean everything. After all you’ve told me I could never let you go at the world alone…you need someone. Someone to help you carry the world on your shoulders, so Alex…when you get tired, I’ll be there to help you carry the world…when you get lonely, I’ll be there to give you company…and Alex, when you get sad…I’ll be there for to be your shoulder to cry on. I promise no matter what Alex, I’ll be there.”

“What about you?” whispered Alex, holding Michael to him tightly.

“Well…I was hoping you’d take care of me too.”

“I’m too weak Michael…I’m just too weak.”

Michael held him to himself, his right hand resting on the back of Alex’s head as the boy started his sniffling again. “You couldn’t be more wrong Alex. You are my world…and as far as I know…the world is pretty damn strong.”

Alex pulled his head up and moaned as he felt Michael’s lips smother his own in a wet and passionate kiss. His tongue entered Alex’s mouth and Alex answered the call with a delightful little massage of his own. He felt Michael’s vocal cords vibrate and he couldn’t believe was actually doing it.

He was actually falling in love.

Author’s Note: This is actually the weirdest thing I think I wrote. I know a gay guy who works at a Pizza Hut…isn’t that weird? Anyways, this wasn’t for anyone until Erica wanted something, and then I wrote the sequel which is right after this one. Haha…my ex’s name is Michael, and my name is really close to Alex. Isn’t that even WEIRDER?! Was that on purpose? Don’t ask, I wouldn’t know.