If you grow up with an alcoholic mother and/or father,

odds are you might say to yourself,

I’m never going to drink.

I’m never going to treat my child

The way I got treated.

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Some are lucky in keeping this pledge.

I think it’s a gift from God,

to not become an alcoholic.

But somehow I do find myself

repeating mistakes my parents made.

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When I was growing up,

I learned defense mechanisms.

I learned another way to escape.

I became a writer.

I got addicted to other things (not chemicals).

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Learned behavior is hard to break.

I didn’t learn to socialize properly

When I was young

Because I was always afraid,

I was a “people pleaser.”

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What will so and so think

if I do or don’t do this.

Will they get angry with me?

Will they yell at me?

Will they hurt me?

Will they reject and not love me?

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Life was so painful

So I just went away

To a creative hiding place.

I’m still going there

And I don’t know why.

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Words can’t justify the neglect

an Adult Child of Alcoholics

bestows on their own children.

They don’t know why they don’t know how

to interact, or it never crosses their mind.

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So their children learn what they learned to do,

entertain yourself, occupy your own mind.

Mommy and/or daddy never have time

To spend with you.

Their too caught up in the their own little worlds.

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They don’t mean to ignore you,

its just that they don’t know how

To do the things they never learned.

So child don’t feel lonely.

Maybe you can make the cycle unlearned.