For Nikki: It's not Breaking Dawn, but I hope you like it.

I’m not really that fond of photo shoots. I don’t hate them or anything - they can be thoroughly enjoyable if spent with the right people - but I’m not that photogenic. I don’t “come alive” when a camera is pointed in my face, I just smile a little and try not to look completely out of it.

“You ready, Mattie?” Fay asked me, the morning light streaming through the living room windows and dancing through his dark hair.

“It’s a bit early, isn’t it?” I asked with a fake yawn.

Ten in the morning isn’t early, well not these days anyway. I had slept well the night before, and had woken up feeling refreshed. Usually, I’d love to join Fay at one of his SuckerLove photo shoots, but Kian was going to be there, very angry and (apparently) semi-naked. I had to believe that sooner or later, he’d forgive me for what I’d done, but knowing him, I knew it would be later. Much later.

“You’re a bad actor,” Fay replied, smiling knowingly as he sat down beside me.

“Well, there goes my Academy Award.”

“I know you’re worried, Matt,” he said quietly, his eyes scanning my face for some indication he was right.

“Me, worried?” I quipped, hoping to avoid talking about Kian.

“I get that it’s complicated…you’re both in important relationships, you both have a lot to lose…”

“Not to mention it’s kinda illegal.”

“Pfft, that’s stupid. Kian is an adult and everyone knows it,” Fay said dismissively. “Matt, I love Angel and Rayden. They’re my family. But you and Kian deserve to be happy as well.”

“But even if we…so many people would get hurt,” I said sadly.

“You don’t think they’re going to be hurt when they find out you and Kian have been hooking up?” Fay asked me. “Infidelity is a horrible thing and it tends to come out in the end.”

“Yeah, I guess…”

“Is your relationship with Angel over?” He asked suddenly.

“I…”

“You need to make a decision - you can’t have them both, and Angel would be devastated if she found out you’d cheated on her,” he said, his eyes shining with wisdom, his usually light voice weighed down by the reflection behind his words. “You’ve got some thinking to do, Mattie.”

--

All I did was think about my current situation. I even tried to draw up a pros and cons list in my head. I loved Angel, but I wasn’t in love with her anymore. She was stable, loving and understood me in a way not many people do. Our relationship had already survived so much, it was strange to think it could simply wilt like a clipped rose, without putting up a struggle.

As a child of a broken home, I understood the effect a divorce could have on Celeste. Angel was her mother, she loved her unconditionally, and I didn’t want Celeste to lose a parent.

If Angel and I stayed together, we would both be unhappy. Angel would know I didn’t want to be there, she’d be able to tell. Was raising Celeste in an unhappy home worse than raising her in a broken one?

The thought, the mere possibility of being with Kian - truly being with him - made my heart race. If we were together, I’d be the driving force of his passion instead of the casual observer. It was something I longed for, but something that terrified me as well. What if he grew bored of me? What if the age difference was simply too much?

I spent hours asking myself questions - a pointless exercise, because I was the only person who could answer them and I quite simply didn’t have the answers. If I believed in God, I would have spent every spare minute on my knees begging for a sign.

I decided I had one more person I could ask for advice, and her word would be final. I found Celeste in her bedroom, quietly watching a DVD. She was so beautiful, the light dancing through her black hair and across her pale skin. I was never more aware of the fact that she was so much more than my daughter - she was a real little person, with her own thoughts, feelings and opinions. She would fall in love, have her heart broken and heal the way I’ve healed.

“Come in Daddy,” she said without taking her eyes from the screen.

“You look so cute today,” I told her, smiling to myself. She had ribbons in her hair. “I like your ribbons.”

“Thanks,” she beamed. “I like them too, they’re so bright.”

“Do you miss your mommy, sweetheart?” I asked her, wondering how I could possibly explain the complicated situation.

“A little,” she replied. “But I’m happier here, Daddy. The other house was boring.”

“I thought so too, pumpkin.”

“Mommy can come visit us here,” she said with a shrug. “I don’t mind.”

“Sweetie, I’ve been thinking very hard about your mommy and me. You see, mommy and I are husband and wife, and husband and wives are supposed to love each other in a special way,” I began, choosing my words very carefully.

“Like that way Uncle Fay loves Uncle Dave?” She asked. “They kiss lots.”

“Yeah, exactly. But you mom and I…we don’t love each other in a special way anymore. We love each other the way friends do, you understand?”

“I think so,” she replied, furrowing her brow. “You’re sad because you don’t love mommy in a special way anymore,” she sighed.

“Yeah, baby, I’m really sad about it,” I said sincerely. “I do still love your mommy and I love you very, very much. But your mom and I, we want to find that special love with other people now.”

“I just want you to be happy, Daddy.”

My eyes burned, hot tears threatening to overwhelm me. I kissed her dark hair, so like mine.

“Mommy and me are going to live in different houses from now on,” I told her. “So you’ll have two bedrooms, all for you.”

“Can I stay here with you, Daddy?” She asked. “I’ll visit Mommy all the time, but I want to stay here. Can I?”

“I dunno, baby. I’ll have to talk to Mommy about that.”

“Daddy?” Celeste said as I stood to leave.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“I hope you find your special love.”

I kissed her again, holding her little body close to mine. I couldn’t quite believe that she’d taken it so well - she had been understanding and sweet as always. I knew there would be questions later, maybe even some anger, but she had given me her blessing.

One down, one to go.

--

The house hadn’t changed at all. My “normal” clothes - smart pants, shirts with buttons - were still hanging in the closet. The guitars I so loved had been pushed into shadowy corners and remained untouched. It was as if I’d never left.

It was as if I’d never been there at all.

I didn’t expect a fight. If there’s one thing Angel understands, it’s the fact that sometimes, you just have to let people go.

She would just have to let me go.

I ached inside, hurting from head to toe. I never thought it would come down to this, to one ugly word. Call me naïve, but I believed in true love, life long relationships. I had believed in forever with her. At my lowest moments, I had never considered breaking up with her if it could be avoided. I had taken more from her than I could ever give back.

It’s not that I don’t love Angel, because I do. I love her more than I love most people - but not as a wife. We hadn’t been partners in a very long time.

I had tried so many times to tear us apart but without success. It was strange to think that life, something unavoidable and merciless, had done it for me. I couldn’t walk her path anymore, and she couldn’t walk mine.

As much as I was hurting, I knew I was doing the right thing. I was finally setting her free.

“Matt,” she didn’t sound surprised to see me there, sitting in the heart of our former home. I watched silently as she carried the groceries into the kitchen.

“Can I get you anything?” She asked, her pretty face blank.

“No, thank you,” I replied quietly, politely. She nodded once and sat opposite me.

“How’s Celeste?”

“She’s doing good,” I informed her. “Getting brighter every day.”

“I was thinking about getting her an easel for her birthday,” she said softly.

“She’d love that,” I assured her.

“Is there something I could help you with?” She asked, after a long minute of uncomfortable silence.

“Yeah, actually,” I mumbled, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. “I…Angel, I think maybe…we should get a divorce.”

She didn’t even blink. If she was upset by my suggestion, she didn’t show it. She was nothing more than a statue sitting there with her emotionless features and stony eyes. Perfect replica of something warm and human.

“I know we signed a pre-nup, so it shouldn’t be too complicated,” I began, my voice laced with desperation. “But money isn’t a problem, I’ll support you, I’ll…”

“I don’t want your money, Matt,” she sighed, sounding more weary than upset. She closed her eyes for a second, before meeting my gaze. “What about Celeste?”

“I talked to her about it, kind of. I think she understands.”

“How can she understand when I don’t?” She asked, a glitter of tears in her eyes. Then they were gone, as if I’d wished them there. Her stare was cold once more.

“I’m sorry.”

“I take it she wants to stay with you?”

“I think so,” I murmured. “But I want joint custody, it’s not even a question.”

“No, it’s not,” she agreed. “Well, just get your lawyer to give me a call.”

I was stunned by how quickly it had happened. It was done - the thing we’d danced around for so long had finally been dragged into the spotlight.

“That’s it?” I stammered.

“Yeah Matt,” she replied quietly, turning her back to me. “That’s it.”

--

I sat in my car outside the Anavrin mansion, my forehead resting on the steering wheel as scalding tears flowed from my eyes, down my pale cheeks and off the tip of my nose. My slender frame shook with each muffled sob.

Mere miles but seemingly worlds away, Angel Andrews rested her head on her knees, her narrow back supported by the front door. She’d slid down it, unable to stand, after showing me out. Then the tears came.

--

I couldn’t take it anymore. It was as if each second dragged itself across my skin, sandpaper scratching at my senses.

I itched, burned and was racked by indecision. I couldn’t eat, the prospect of doing something so mundane made my stomach twist. Sleep was like a former friend, remembered with great affection but not to be associated with.

“Just do it already!” Fay yelled, grinning at me as if it was as easy as he believed it to be.

“Fay, it’s complicated,” I began. He snorted.

“Tell him how you feel. You can’t agonise over him forever - it’s affecting your work ethic,” he pointed out. I hadn’t written a song in days - I was worried about what would come out if I touched a pen to paper.

“So you expect me to march to Kian’s house and declare my love for him?”

“Exactly,” Fay beamed.

“Just wanted to clear that up,” I replied sarcastically, running a hand through my hair.

“They do it in movies all the time!” He argued, making my smile.

“This isn’t a movie, Fay. This is real.”

“Says who?”

Ten minutes later, I was running down the path that led to the Trainwrecks and Firewater house, where Kian lived with his brother Sonny and the rest of the band.

Fay and I had sat in thoughtful silence after our little conversation. The stereo had been on shuffle and a song I knew and loved had started to play.

It was Kill Hannah’s Kennedy, a song about admiration and insecurity. I had stared, stunned, at the speakers as Mat Devine sang.

“And if I had my chance, I’d never let you go.”

The line repeated in my head as my feet mindlessly followed the path to his door, my heart thumping so hard I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

--

He glanced in the mirror one last time, his vision blurred by the tears he tried to furiously blink away. He wiped his eyes and indulged in a quick, quiet sob before slinging his half empty back pack over his shoulder.

He reached for his wallet, flipping it open to stare at the photograph safely tucked away behind the little plastic section intended for an ID or driver’s licence.

Matt Harris stared up at him, his green eyes glittering through the little plastic window. A battered acoustic guitar rested in his lap, a carefree smile adorning his generous mouth.

Kian Martoni wondered when he’d see that smile again. He wondered if he’d ever inspire that smile again.

“You ready?” Sonny asked, not bothering to hide his tears.

“Yeah, the cab should be here any second,” Kian replied, pulling his beloved brother into a warm embrace.

“Ok, be careful. Call me when you get there.”

“I will. Ivory will be joining me in a few days, I’ll be fine,” Kian assured him.

“Keep in touch, alright? I mean, every day, Kian.”

“I will, I promise.”

“I love you, kid,” Sonny whispered, standing on tip toes to kiss his little brother on the forehead.

“Love you more,” he replied with a sad smile, closing the door behind him as he left. The cab had just pulled up and he stepped gracefully inside.

“Airport please,” he told the driver, slipping his earphones in as the car pulled out of the drive.

His Ipod was on shuffle and Kill Hannah’s Scream began to play. He felt tears burn his eyes once more as Mat Devine began to sing.

I saw the clouds forming tornadoes in the sky
The winter winds blew on lake Michigan that night
I carved your name into my arm
So I would remember you
Sometimes it hurts so bad I don't know what to say
Enacting Sybil Vane in some tragic play
So afraid that I can't ever explain
So now I
Scream
And hope it's a dream
It's hard just to breathe
When you say goodbye
I wanna sleep but there are nightmares when I try
The birds are circling
I know the reasons why
Maybe a sad song some time
Will make you remember me
Somehow I feel that it's my destiny to fall
Get dried and hung upon a gallery wall
Holding on by just a thread to my heart
So now I
Scream
And hope it's a dream
It's hard just to breathe
When we said goodbye
Scream
It's not what it seems
I still cant believe
That we said goodbye

Oh

Oh

Oh

Oh

Oh
But now when I think of you I scream

The cab left the driveway just as Matt Harris came tearing down it, his green eyes fixing on the car. His heart stopped in his chest, but he yelled anyway.

“Kian!”

Kian didn’t hear him as he mouthed the lyrics to himself. Matt ran to the doorstep of the grand house, hammering desperately on the door.

Sonny answered, tears spilling down his porcelain face.

“He’s gone, Matt.”

The End

(Author's Note: Well, guys. It's only taken me two years! I don't know where the time went, but this is the end of "Encore". Anyone up for another round? I'll be posting details soon. All the lyrics featured in this chapter are the property of Kill Hannah)