I sat at the squat, primary-colored picnic table, somehow managing to shove my massive thighs under it comfortably, and placed my stuffed bear beside me.

“You need this!” came a high-pitched voice from behind me, and a large, floppy, pink-brimmed hat sailed across the room and landed on top of the picnic table.

“I do?” I asked, trying to hide the note of desperation in my voice as I picked up the hat and placed it on my head.

“Yep!” another voice said cheerfully, and something rustled in the closet. I shook my head tiredly and rolled my shoulders as the twin girls padded over to me in bare feet and their mother’s best eveningwear. I adjusted the hat on top of my head and frowned at the amount of makeup caked all over their faces.

The older one by two minutes, Marina Tesse, had discovered what eyeshadow was, and also decided that it was much too pretty and sparkly to be used strictly on the eyes. It was, therefore, spread from the corner of her eye all the way down to the tip of her chin, and back up to touch on her lips. Her sister, Melanie, had forgone the eyeshadow and gone straight for mascara, smearing it all over her little face and pudgy hands.

“Girls,” I murmured, exasperated. “As soon as this is over, we have got to wash our hands. Look at the mess we’ve made!” I used ‘we’ as a figurative piece of language, both girls knew that when I said ‘we’ I meant ‘you’.

“Okay!” Chirruped Melanie happily, handing me a graham cracker. “Here’s Mr. Bear’s tea, too.” She said, handing me a cup filled to overflowing with what looked like blue liquid detergent.

Ah, to be four again.

Marina, at this point, had distributed all the graham crackers and liquid soap she could, and was now focused on adjusting her own floppy-brimmed hat to make it appealing to Mr. Bear, whom she would spend the entire tea party sitting across from and winking seductively at. Melanie plopped down across from me, her jet-black hair settling neatly over her shoulders. If there was one thing I was envious of, it was these girls and their long, black, raven hair.

“So, how are things at the job?” Melanie asked, tapping her graham cracker on her plate as if it were a piece of fine bone china. Marina joined us at the table, sitting next to her sister and winking long, painful beats at the bear so he would notice her eyeshadow.

“You are my job, silly.” I said to Melanie, and she giggled, as did her sister, flirtatiously.

“Dessen,” said Marina, sitting up and turning to look over her shoulder. “I think the puppy-” No more words were necessary. The Tesse family dog, born only two months ago, a beautiful little yellow Labrador puppy, barreled into the room, slid on the hardwood, and crashed into the picnic table, sending graham crackers and liquid detergent everywhere.

“Bonnie!” screeched Melanie, yanking off her hat and throwing it angrily at the puppy, who caught the hat in his mouth and ran away with it, prancing like it was some waterfowl he’d just caught at the lake. The two girls tore after the puppy, leaving a trail of detergent similar to a snail’s ooze in their wake. I exhaled loudly, attempted to count to ten, and went into the kitchen to get a wet rag.

“Take it into the yard!” I shouted, ushering the girls and their wayward puppy to the back door which led to the yard and playground equipment. Marina had Bonnie’s leash in one hand and a small can of what looked like insect repellant in the other, and Melanie was just galloping alongside her sister, screaming orders.

Just as I had made it back to the playroom and had gotten all the detergent off of the floor before it warped, my cell phone went off, loud strikes in a chord of “Laffy Taffy”. I whipped it out of my pocket, looked at the screen and the name flashing on it.

“Hey honey!” I said excitedly, tucking the phone into my neck and holding it in place with my cheek as I squeezed out the rag.

“Hi Dessen,” said my not-so-enthused boyfriend, Jason. “Look, can we talk? I’ve got something I need to tell you…and it’s not easy, and…” I reared in alarm. What could be wrong? Jason and I had been dating for over two years now, and even though we were entering our sophomore year of college, we were still just as in love as we had been at the end of senior year when we met at orientation.

“Sure…” I said quietly, tipping the tray of broken graham cracker pieces into the garbage bag I’d brought with me. “I’ve got to be here at the Tesse house for another-” I checked my watch. 5:30 pm. “-hour and a half, but I can meet you somewhere for supper?” Jason made a muffled noise, sounded as if he was talking to someone else, and then nodded into the phone: I could hear his stubble scratching the mouthpiece, and I smiled despite the worry he’d just incurred on me.

“Sounds fine, hon.” He said quietly, hanging up on me before we got a chance to exchange our usual ‘I love you’s. Something was definitely the matter, and it alarmed me. I rocked back on my heels, shook my head to clear it, and tied the garbage bag. Couldn’t worry about that now…too many other things to worry about.