Broken Starfish

Written by AgelessAchlys, in Dedication to her Father

I have been murdered.

Maybe not for real,

But on the inside it’s all dead.

I can’t speak up

About all of my true thoughts,

The ones that cause pain

In either half of what once was whole.

Glue won’t work,

Tape is too weak,

Staples are too painful.

Words could work,

If either half would listen

And contribute with words

That glisten clean with honesty.

Dirty lies poison my mind,

Pushing a half towards a part of me

That has gone unused for years.

When did this start?

When will it end?

When will the dead part of me

Rise to live again?

Is it truly dead,

Or just waiting for clean words?

Waiting for a waterfall to erupt

From the dam built by

The half that has now stolen a third.

If that dam won’t break,

I’ll have to build a bridge.

But where will I get wood

When the trees have all been poisoned

By the dirty river?

The rocks have all been used

To build the traitorous dam.

And how can I construct this bridge

When the dam’s builder is so proud of his work?

The rain comes,

Dropping bits of the clean water

That had evaporated into the sky.

These bits are not enough,

Only fragments of the whole.

And though I dance through the rain,

Trying to absorb it into my skin,

It falls too fast for me to catch

And none of it makes any sense.

I drink from the poisoned river,

Trying to make some sense,

But illness overcomes me,

Causing the clean water to sweat out of my body,

Leaving only the dirty water to remain.

The pushed half, the builder, sees this

And takes me under his wing.

With his encouragements to support me,

I try to fly,

But the poisoned water weighs heavily in me,

And I am pulled down to drown in the river.

I try to swim up for air,
But the dirty water pulls on my clothes,

Pulling me steadily deeper.

I reach the muddy bottom.

My hands dig, searching for any hope of escape,

But they only find a severed starfish.

Two arms have been cut off,

But only one is trying to grow back.

The other is stopped by a leech.

I pull off the leech to save the arm,

But too much has been taken,

And the arm dies.

My breath runs out.

My effort to save the arm of a broken starfish

Has cost me my own life.

I never got to drink from the clean water;

Instead, I drown in the water

Poisoned by the same half of a whole

That once encouraged me to fly.

I have been murdered,

And this time it’s for real.

Inside and out, it’s all dead.